[notyoung56]

I have started to read recently.

Numbers 14:11
Yahweh said to Moses, How long will this people despite me? and how long will they not believe in me, for all the miraculous signs which I have performed among them.

Deuteronomy 17:16
The king, moreover, must not acquire great numbers of horses for himself or make the people return to Egypt to get more of them, for the Lord has told you, “You are not to go back that way again.”

Deuteronomy 4:2 NIV
Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you

Exodus 23:8
Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blind those who see and twists the words of the righteous

If I sin again and again, does this mean I have not truly repented?

Repent does not mean “to apologize” it means to acknowledge my way is wrong and God’s way is right. Repentance is a major theme.

Mathew 3:8
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.
If we’ve decided that we’re done with the old ways, and have come to God for forgiveness and experienced His deep inner work in us and the renewing of our minds, it will and must show on the outside – in how we now choose to live.

[notyoung56]

Am I looking at the wrong place again?
On a second look, I do feel more relax, less anxious, fearful, stressful and worried now.

Have I lower my guard, vigilant, alert and protection?
Am I getting relax, complacent and careless?
I am afraid my answer is Yes to the above questions.

My answer to “should I gamble today” should be a firm and decisive No
and Not: Yes and No Maybe, Yes and No but…
I should not feel that the warning, the law, the guideline, the rule is mean for other people and not for me.

My ways are wrong!
I need to pay attention, I cannot be lazy to spot sign of lapses in my recovery.

[notyoung56]

I discover that my employment problem was caused by myself.
I was looking for work in all the wrong places.
I keep looking for job that was not suitable for me.
no matter how hard I work, no matter how much additional time and effort I put in,
I still cannot catch up with the rest, I was slow, not productive and struggling on the job.

It took the current job to confirm everything. It was all about job fit and suitability.
I am experiencing less stress and getting paid more now.
I only took 3 days and not 3 months to adapt and fit into this new job.

Before this happen, I was beginning to doubt myself.
I lose so many jobs that I start to believe that it was my fault.
I start to blame myself for losing all those jobs that was so hard for me to get.

Each time I lose a job, I will gamble to cope with the pain and that did not help me.
Losing everything I had in gambling makes it worst and more painful, it was a bad decision.

This is a journey of discovery. I am learning how to live life.
I am learning from my mistakes. I am making changes to cope with my old problems.

Today I was hit by the curve ball in life again.
I was shocked when I find myself looking at returning to old way and giving up my new way.
I ask myself why I suddenly want to gamble today. What have change. How can this happen to me –
I could be tired, I could be unwell or sick
the hormones in my body or the chemical in my brain may have change.
I really do not know. I could be weak today and I didn’t know.

I need to keep the new way. My old ways are wrong.
I need to work hard and focus on the job just for today, one day at a time.
I need to work hard to keep my recovery just for today, one day at a time.

One moment I did not pay attention on the road of my recovery, I would slip into old ways.
This is a reality and the truth. It is a fact. This is my struggle.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.

[notyoung56]

This is a fact and the truth. I have lost 3 jobs and was unemployed for 5 months last year. It was a big struggle for me to stay on the job and I do not wish the same thing to happen this year.

10 days has passed on the new job. I have work with 3 other senior at work and everyone have slept on the job. I knew this will be a challenge for me on the job but if I want to keep this job, I need to do whatever it takes to stay awake at work.

I need the job to have the means to provide for the family and service my loans every month.

I will lose about 16 hours a day due to work related activities leaving me with 8 hours or less for sleep, any other activity will eat into my sleeping time and if I eat before I sleep, it will keep me awake, I will struggle to sleep. I am developing discipline for sleeping and I have become less compulsive in eating.

I realized that this new job was a blessing in disguise. Now I can clean myself, eat, sleep on time. I have less distraction every day, I can actually find time to do a little reading, something that I could not do in the past. It has help me to be more discipline and become less compulsive. I can feel that I am slowly developing and growing strength in these areas.

I have added so much fear, stress, worries and anxiety into my life which was the consequences of my gambling, and I have taken for granted and lost my freedom and peace.

I prayed for God given courage to work hard today one day at a time. I felt thankful and grateful for this opportunity.

My wish is simple, it is my dream now if I could carry on these good habits over the last 10 days for the rest of the year. I need to stay focus for the rest of the year.

This light is giving me hope in all the darkness.

[notyoung56]

I woke up today feeling like everything happen yesterday
I miss someone that I lost 30 years ago.
I was looking at my past

I force myself to stop looking at my past immediately
Next thing I know, I cannot help looking at my future
and I start to fear because my commitments look like too much for me to handle
I do not have the means and the ability

This was a familiar situation
I do not know how I can complete the task this year
As long as I keep trying
As long as I do not stay down for too long
As long as I continue to take the next baby step forward
I always finish the year

I need to keep my eye on today.
I need to work hard today.

[notyoung56]

I woke up today feeling like everything happen yesterday
I miss someone I lost 30 years ago.
I was looking at my past

I made myself stop looking at my past
Then I look at my future and I start to fear
My commitments look too much for me to handle
I do not have the means and the ability

This is a familiar situation
I do not know how I can finish this year
As long as I keep trying
As long as I do not stay down for too long
As long as I continue this journey
I always finish the year
I need to work hard today.

[notyoung56]

The new job has filled up the void left behind by gambling
It has kept me busy and occupied
One day at a time, I just need to do my best to keep this job
I had to be discipline and I need to focus on today or the present
I have less time to fear that I will fail

I have struggle to stay on any job in the past
I truly regret all my wrongdoings in this life
I feel very guilty of all my sins in the past
I ask for God’s forgiveness; I pray for God’s mercy and grace.

I used to be very self-righteous
I used to believe that God only help those who help themselves
Today I pray for God to help me because I could not stay change for long.
I was like the dog that return to its vomit or the pig that rolled in the mud
When I was stress, I gamble.

This new job provided me abundant free time to read.

Matthew 6:33 ESV “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Matthew 6:34, New World Translation. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”— Matthew 6:34, New International Version. Jesus, who spoke those words, assured his listeners that they would not need to be overly worried, or unduly anxious, about future problems.

Matthew 6:25-34.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not of more value than they?

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

And why are you anxious about clothing?

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,

yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Matthew 6:1-4 ESV “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others.

[notyoung56]

1. To create a sense of perspective, picture yourself in the future

When we’re too close to a situation, it’s difficult to put things in perspective.
We cannot always wait for time to pass in order to gain a sense of perspective.
When we’re in crisis mode, it often feels like we need to respond immediately.

The good news is, sometimes we can create that sense of time passing with our own minds.
People often say, “Think about how you will feel about this next year. Will you still be so stressed?”

We can’t just wave a magic wand, picture ourselves in the future, and suddenly gain a sense of perspective, especially when we’re scared, angry, sad, or frustrated.

When you’re trying to gain a sense of perspective by imagining yourself in the future, make sure that you’re in the right headspace to do so. Try to let yourself calm down, get yourself in a safe or more comfortable situation, and be kind to yourself as emotions come up. We always want to validate our feelings now and then just explore.

Without any judgment, how do you think you’ll feel in a week, or a month, or a year about the situation you’re facing right now?

You might think in a day or a week that you’ll still be stressed, and that’s okay.
Maybe you’ll realize that a month from now, or three months from now, or six months from now, the sting of whatever is going on will have faded and you’ll be able to find some peace or closure.
Are there actions you can take now to get you closer to that state?

2. The next time you need to put something in perspective, actually give yourself some time to process

If the event is causing feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, or anything else that could be perceived as negative
Ask yourself can I wait before I need to take action or respond to whatever is going on?
Can you give yourself some space and time to cool down and process before making a decision?
When we’re in crisis mode, it often feels like we need to respond immediately.
Giving yourself some space and time to cool down can make a huge difference in terms of gaining perspective and a difficult situation.

3. If you struggle to put things in perspective, a therapist can help

One great way to put something in perspective is to talk about it, and who better to talk to about what’s going on with you than a therapist?

A therapist can help you explore solutions, develop ways to cope, consider other things that are going well in your life, work on existing skills or help you develop new skills to get you through tough times, and analyze what might be able to change in your life versus what might be more fixed.

None of these exercises are easy, but gaining perspective is like a muscle, and the more often you use it, the stronger it will grow.

[notyoung56]

5 Steps to Putting Things in Perspective

1. Ask yourself what the cost and consequence to you are when you react with such intensity.

For example
Are you infuriated by small frustrations?
Anxious about the uncertainty of events?
Derailed by inconvenience?

You may be making yourself anxious and angry and making matter worse.
Fortunately, this can change. You can reduce your stress by seeing things in perspective.

2. Stand back and observe and describe—don’t judge.

We usually upset ourselves about our interpretations of events rather than what really happened.

So write down what happened without your judgments.

For example, “I lost my job and income”, “I do not have enough money”, “I lost money”.
Then, think about how extreme your response may be to these events etc. I need to gamble to find a solution to my problem.

Suspend judgment and just become an observer.
By observing you detach. This reduces stress.

3. What can you still do even if this is true? It’s not the end of the world.

For example, if I have lost my job and income, are there other things that I can do?
You will quickly learn that your life is unchanged even if this apparently upsetting event has occurred.
It’s more a preference than a necessity.

4. How will you feel about this in a week, month, or year?

My mind will get hijack by over-reaction in the present moment; I will become impulsive and reckless, obsessive and compulsive and then forget about it the next day. This is often what happens to me.
If you see your intense feelings disappear with time, then give it time. Be patient. This, too, will pass.

5. Think about the event as an inconvenience.

It would be nice if everything went your way –but the world is not constructed that way.
Rather than label it as awful, a disaster, or something you can’t tolerate, think about it as a minor inconvenience. It is an inconvenience and preference—not a necessity.

Keep in mind that you can alter the way you respond to what is in front of you.
If you find yourself stressed about everyday events, you may have lost perspective on things.

[notyoung56]

When I am in crisis mode, I often feels like I need to respond immediately.

This has got me into all sort of troubles.

[notyoung56]

deleted

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.

[notyoung56]

5 Steps to Putting Things in Perspective

1. Ask yourself what the cost and consequence to you are when you react with such intensity.

For example
Are you infuriated by small frustrations?
Anxious about the uncertainty of events?
Derailed by inconvenience?

You may be making yourself anxious and angry and making matter worse.
Fortunately, this can change. You can reduce your stress by seeing things in perspective.

2. Stand back and observe and describe—don’t judge.

We usually upset ourselves about our interpretations of events rather than what really happened.

So write down what happened without your judgments.

For example, “I lost my job and income”, “I do not have enough money”, “I lost money”.
Then, think about how extreme your response may be to these events etc. I need to gamble to find a solution to my problem.

Suspend judgment and just become an observer.
By observing you detach. This reduces stress.

3. What can you still do even if this is true? It’s not the end of the world.

For example, if I have lost my job and income, are there other things that I can do?
You will quickly learn that your life is unchanged even if this apparently upsetting event has occurred.
It’s more a preference than a necessity.

4. How will you feel about this in a week, month, or year?

My mind will get hijack by over-reaction in the present moment; I will become impulsive and reckless, obsessive and compulsive and then forget about it the next day. This is often what happens to me.
If you see your intense feelings disappear with time, then give it time. Be patient. This, too, will pass.

5. Think about the event as an inconvenience.

It would be nice if everything went your way –but the world is not constructed that way.
Rather than label it as awful, a disaster, or something you can’t tolerate, think about it as a minor inconvenience. It is an inconvenience and preference—not a necessity.

Keep in mind that you can alter the way you respond to what is in front of you.
If you find yourself stressed about everyday events, you may have lost perspective on things.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.

[notyoung56]

Year 2023 start with a new opportunity, but I do not have the confident to carry out my duty due to my history and past failures.

I have found a new job and I wish that I can stay on this job for the rest of the year. Ever since Covid-19 started, I have struggle to keep a job. I have lost 3 jobs last year and was unemployed 5 months.

I need to provide my family and keep up with my repayment plan in the new year. Last year was not perfect, I have failed many times to do the right thing, but I still manage to keep up with my commitments every month. I am afraid in the new year.

Dear Heavenly Father, I feel very weak, helpless and useless. I pray for your courage to change me; the courage to be brave; the courage to do the right thing; the courage to accept that I cannot gamble. I am very guilty and ashamed of what I have done in the past; I regret all my wrongdoings; please forgive me for all my sins and have mercy on me. As I continue this journey and living this life, please protect me from all evil and do not let me fall into temptations. May your Will be done, not mine. I pray in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

[notyoung56]

I am a problem gambler
Gambling do very shocking thing to me
The money was there yesterday and gone today
The bigger the winning the bigger the shock when it disappears

I am a problem drinker and gambler
Both made me shiver in extreme fear when I get into trouble
I lost all my saving and fall into heavy debt with no means to pay back

I am now allergy to both alcohol and gambling
They can make me very sick
I have quit alcohol and gambling

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by notyoung56.

[notyoung56]

The choices we make dictate the life we lead

How do we make good choices?

We make good choices in life when

1. we weigh up possibilities and consequences,
2. stay true to our morals and values
3. ensure that fears and doubts aren’t impacting our decisions.

I do have choices; I do have the freedom to not gamble

[Author]

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