[nitenurse]

After my husband’s cruel words I crumbled! I love this man but when he is defending his addiction he’s a totally different person! I was a crying mess and I hate that he saw that cause it’s like the addiction is winning! So, I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and tattered self-esteem, cranked up the radio and made a killer dinner! And I had fun doing so!
When my husband came around he immediately apologized for his behavior, which was nice to hear but part of me wonders if its just another attemp at manipulation on his part?!
This has been our dirty little secret for a long time, but i recently broke down and let my mother in, basically cause i couldnt keep it in anymore! she was initially very judgmental and that’s why i hesitated to tell her! i dont want her to hate him! she cooled off and when she did we had a good talk about what i was feeling and how we could get through this! It felt good to let someone in! I’ve felt so alone!
I just love him soooo much… So what else can I do? Like many people have suggested, I will just keep control of the finances, even though it infuriates him so! I will be there for him and try to be supportive even when I want to strangle him! And I will continue living my life… I guess! I hope that if he sees us happy and living our lives ***** want to join in and we can get back to the happy *****!

[nitenurse]

From positive to negative with just 1 question…”why can’t I just make 1 bet?” I explained to my husband that I was standing firm on this matter and he went off!!! He called me lazy and said our marriage was a joke and so was I! Then he left me alone with all the kids… And part of me wishes he would just leave for good! I’m not sure how much more I can take ?? this is ruining our lives!
Velvet, he’s answered the 20 questions before… He answered yes to 16 of them! But still he insists he doesn’t have a problem. I guess it’s just me!

[nitenurse]

Thank you all for your insight, I am learning more and more about my husbands gambling problem and hopefully that will help me be strong as now he has decided that he ISN’T a compulsive gambler!!! He has convinced himself that he can stay in control and just gamble occasionally. Forgive me if I’m not buying that one! He placed yet another bet and promptly lost ( I was secretly thrilled he lost cause I feel like winning just encourages him) and now claims he won’t bet again for 2 weeks (our next payday). Problem is since then he has been even more distant than before, I keep trying to communicate with him but he’s very short. All i can do is try, right?!
Meanwhile, I have refused to put any $ in the debit account in a feeble attempt to protect our finances. And Velvet… I took your advice and went out with some friends for dinner. I know that sounds simple but it was something I haven’t done for a long time because we didn’t have the $ or because I was preoccupied with all the problems at home! It felt good, and I had do much fun! It was nice to step away from my husbands addiction and the grip it’s had over me for so long! Today I think the kids and I will have a play date, they are young (2yrs, 3yrs and newborn) but I’m know they could use to get out and have some fun!
Now… My husband just ***** to find his way… Any advice? How can I help him get there?

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