[neva]

You are so right in the way our brains trick us into thinking we deserve to gamble as a reward for not gambling…doesn’t make sense but I’ve felt the same way before.  Maybe our brain forgets all the pain gambling has caused so we have to remind it.  As I keep preaching, set up barriers so you can’t get money to gamble so when your mind goes haywire you can’t follow through. 

[neva]

Grandchildren are a blessing from above.  I’m sure your grandson appreciates you as much as you do him.

[neva]

Hi Dave and welcome to GT.  Someone from the forum will send you some information and welcome you but I just wanted to personally say *****.  Self exclusion and any other barriers that limit access to gambling money are very important.  It’s so much easier when we CAN’T gamble instead of trying to use will power. Will power didn’t work well for me but getting rid of my debit card, stopping casino check cashing and banking at an out of town credit union have prevented getting money (or more money) to keep gambling.  Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself! Sherry

[neva]

So sorry about your pet.  As a fellow animal lover, I understand how hard it is to put a pet down.  My sincere sympathy.
Three weeks is wonderful.  Weekends are the hard ***** for me.  I used to tell myself ‘I only have to get through the next few hours.  I was used to going to the casino between 1pm and 5pm and usually couldn’t stop myself but when I only had to get through 4 or 5 hours it seemed a lot more manageable. Weekends aren’t near the worry anymore. I hope you find something to replace that weekend habit that’s healthy and enjoyable.

[neva]

Wishing everyone another gamble free day.  We’re making the right choice ODAAT.

[neva]

Thanks everyone.  I know it probably sounds petty to complain about money when I’m in the best financial situation I’ve ever been in my life but the savings account was the measure of how I was doing in the gambling fight.  After I paid off over $20,000 in credit debt, I started a savings…then I gambled it away.  Wishing I had that money back, I started saving again and put a lot of barriers in place to protect that money and as the savings went up, I felt secure knowing I couldn’t get to it for gambling. Guess the savings has been a barometer of my gambling recovery…and while it’s going down, I’m worried I’ll go down with it.
Recovery is very fragile, an addicts self esteem is very fragile and it doesn’t take much to ‘lose’ it.  I know these feelings are fleeting and I’ll still keep all my barriers in place AND GAMBLING WILL NOT MAKE ANYTHING BETTER.
On a happier note:I get the 7:30pm feeding. The little guy is like a kid.  His evening feeding takes a long time because he drinks a little, runs and bucks, eats some more, checks out the dog and then comes back for more.  It’s hard for him to concentrate on eating because there is too much going on and he’s full of energy. The other feedings are quicker.  He’s a cutie.  Don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat beef again!  All new life is amazing…even a baby calf.

[neva]

Thanks Cat for the reminder to remove my e-mail address.  I feel everyone on here is a friend but I wouldn’t to risk my anonymity either. 
My husband and I were standing in our new house, looking over our property and feeling so incredibly blessed.  Only another cg will understand this…but I am just as grateful for the miracle of another gamble free weekend.  Of course having my debt in order and being able to build a new house is the direct result of all the years of working towards recovery.  As Monday morning went on, I kept thinking about how my life used to be and Mondays were the ‘day of reckoning’ after gambling all weekend.  It was almost a relief to get back to work so I would have to stop gambling. Today I felt some guilt…did I gamble this weekend? I didn’t but there is something nagging at me. Maybe it’s just the thought I could be sucked back in so easily. Money is going out really fast.  I know it’s all for important things but I’m feeling like I did when I gambled…I don’t have any control and the money is flying out. I told our painter that I would pay him cash…as a friend instead of business deal.  I owe him $900…after I paid him $300 already.  I’ve been hanging on to $450 for a couple of weeks.  Barriers are very important and I know having cash in my possession isn’t smart.  I hope he can start painting before next weekend so the cash isn’t in my hands. Don’t you think $1,200 is a lot to paint the inside of an empty house?  I bought all the paint and primer but he’s using his equipment.  He’s a professional painter and I know ***** do a good job…besides his wife is a sweetheart and I’m happy to help them out…I just feel it’s a lot of money.  My savings account will be zero soon. That savings was my security and I hate to let it go.
Even when things are good there is always something to worry about.

[neva]

Sherrie, wish we could have all been there with you.  I’m going to google that song so I can have it play in my head too.  Very inspirational post!  The other Sherry

[neva]

Another good Monday…where I’m not hating myself for the gambling losses from the weekend.  It’s so much better when the week goes forward instead of lingering regrets over the bad decisions from the weekend.  Another gamble free day.

[neva]

As far as last goodbyes go, it sounds like Ruth’s send off was just what she wanted.  You’re a good friend and will be a big help to her mother.  I couldn’t even imagine raising twins at my age but it’s wonderful that she can.  Guess where there is a will there is a way.  I’m sure it made it easier for Ruth knowing her mom would be there for her babies.

[neva]

Every day you make it without gambling is a victory.  Keep moving forward ODAAT.

[neva]

Great attitude Ed.  Happy to see you’re taking life as it comes and making the most of it. 

[neva]

Your new colors sound amazing.  A clean slate for a new life.  Enjoy!

[neva]

Congrats on all your gamble free days! Keep moving forward ODAAT.

[neva]

That must be hard seeing your mother-in-law act in a way you know she wouldn’t if she was in her right mind. It sounds like you have a solid relationship with your husband and can ***** on each other for support.  Seems like there are always rough spots in our lives.  Sorry you are going through one right now.

[Author]

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