[neva]

Hi Libbie.  You haven’t posted for almost a week.  Hope everything is okay.  The weekends are the tough time for me so thought I’d check in with you and maybe we can motivate each other the next two days.  Hang in there Libbie.  A good life is waiting if you so choose.  Sherry

[neva]

Carole, hope you find job you love.  I’ve been working all my life it seems and would love to not work for a while.  Guess that will happen when I retire.  We are both about the same age and I have over 8 years until full retirement…but that’s only if I don’t continue to gamble of course.  Having your granddaughters and getting your cash in the bank are insurance against gambling.  Good for you in planning ahead you’re a smart lady.  Sherry

[neva]

Another weekend to get through.  Time to get the defenses up and get through it without gambling.  I will not gamble this weekend…that’s my word and my word is gospel once again.
 

[neva]

Ican, I hope and pray things are going better for you. I posted a blog link on my thread that I think you’d find inspiration and comfort in…I know I have.  Sherry

[neva]

I love this lady.  Her blog has been a real inspiration.  Ican, I think you’ll understand Peg too.
too. http://recoveryfromgamblingaddiction.blogspot.com/
Today’s post was just what I needed to hear.  Here it is in part…
make your WORD the most important thing you have.
your WORD is holy.
keep your promises.
don’t ever ***.
be honorable.
start small.

but start.
now.
right this minute.

it’s the only one you have.
 
My word used to mean so much but over the years, because of my addiction, I couldn’t keep my word to anyone…especially not to myself.  How many ***** have I said ‘that’s it, I’m never going to gamble again’ or ‘I won’t gamble this weekend’ or "I won’t gamble today’ and as soon as the opportunity arises I’m on my way to the casino.  I want my word to mean something again.  It’s my choice and I’m starting today.
 

[neva]

I love this lady.  Her blog has been a real inspiration.  Ican, I think you’ll get a lot from her too. 

[neva]

Good for you razza!  You already know that winning just buys you more gambling time.  We can never walk out a winner so what’s the point of stepping footing in a casino?  Keep your hard earned money to yourself and you’ll be a winner for that.  Weekends are hard for me.  I’ll join you in not gambling…ODAAT.

[neva]

August has been good for me too.  Lots of company and no time to think about gambling.  It’s lots easier when gambling isn’t an option.  That’s what I love about the work week.

[neva]

http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/pa-teller-stole-dollar90k-from-elderly-customers-accounts
When I read things like this I feel so bad for everyone…especially the person so addicted to gambling that they would stoop this low to gamble.  It sounds shocking that anyone would embezzle but I can definitely see how it could happen.  Just a small amount at first with the thought of ‘winning’ it back but spiraling into uncontrollable debt instead.  I’ve never come close to ******** money but I have done things I thought I’d never do.  Years ago I was desperate to gamble and I called Chase bank to ask how I could get a cash advance and they gave me a pin number and I ran to the ATM and with drew $350.  A cash advance cost money–lots more than an ATM fee and interest starts on the first day. Then I did it again and at that point I knew I was getting in too deep so I called Chase and said I lost my card and cancel the pin number.  They sent me a new card and a new pin.  I cut up the card and tore up the pin before I opened it. I had to stop myself and thankfully, was able to do it. But, given an opportunity to get cash, and an unending need to gamble, who knows how far any of us would go once we get in too deep. I’m thankful that I did not gamble today and pray none of us ever go up the wrong road to feed our addictions.

[neva]

Congrats on 9 months.  I’m very happy for you!  Be proud.

[neva]

Libby, it’s tough to ‘get out there’ and meet new people…especially a new man.  I hope I never have to date again! Like you, I don’t share that I have a gambling problem with my co-workers and friends.  Everyone seems to have money worries so I don’t think I stick out more than anyone else…but maybe I’m kidding myself.  I have plenty of people that want to hang out, shop or lunch but I don’t confide in any of them.  I wonder if hiding this gambling addiction keeps us from cultivating deeper relationships.  
That’s great that you are feeling good about the self exclusion.  I hope it serves you well.   Anything we do to protect ourselves is a good step.

[neva]

I’m in Washington State…a small town with no grocery store but the is a thriving casino.  Are you anywhere near me?  I would love to have someone to meet up with on the weekends that had a shared desire to avoid the casino on the weekends. I tried to start a GA but couldn’t find a single soul willing to attend. Good for you in banning!  Losing that $400 was tough but at least you know you won’t be repeating it as long as the ban is in place.  Sorry about the boyfriend.  Even though it was your choice, I know it’s still hard. 
 

[neva]

LOL…Vera, I forgot about the freezer trick but thankfully I didn’t need it. My mom called and mentioned getting her $15 comp from the Casino and I told her it wasn’t worth walking into the casino for it.  Then I felt dishonest because I acted like I was determined gambling wasn’t going to happen when I was wrestling the thoughts myself.  As far as I know, we BOTH have made it through this weekend without gambling.  I know I have.  The thing about gambling (or stopping the action) is that I am so determined to change my life but then it’s like the destruction, losses and regret are forgotten and there I go back to repeating the same sorry story.  My concentration should be paying off the charge cards from buying stuff for our house.  Both cards are zero interest so I’ve been slack paying as much as I can (wasting money gambling instead) but this payday I paid all extra on a card and left nothing for gambling.  I still need to replace some money to the house account for the upcoming cement work but there is not enough money in one month to make up for all gambling losses (you’d think 1 month without gambling would wash out a month of gambling but it doesn’t).  Progress not perfection.

[neva]

I posted but it disappeared.  I’m in for August and, just for today, I will not gamble. Thanks for starting the thread Cat. Sherry

[neva]

Wow Libbie, don’t blame you for not wanting to be part of ga.  It’s odd how we perceive things in life but don’t stay away from gambling after ‘it’ treats us so badly. I’m only saying that because of my own experiences. We don’t have a GA here but I wish I had some face to face support this weekend.  Stay strong Libbie.

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