[neva]

It’s kind of like dieting.  You eat right, watch your calories and exercise and then you blow it and all your hard work is wiped out. Now you know what’s going to happen so put up some road blocks so you can’t repeat that…or at least if you do make sure you can’t access too much money.  Not being able to access more money has been a lifesaver for me.  Roadblocks will prevent you from ever again gambling away a thousand in a couple of hours!  No amount of gambling (a hundred or a thousand or more) will satisfy us but, only having a small amount of money available, will surely limit our losses…and we’ll be very thankful!!!

[neva]

Another gamble-free weekend behind us.  I’m lucky in that the work week is easier. My gambling habit was weekends and holidays.  Some people, like Ican, have it easier during the weekends and harder during the work week.  I’m just thankful there are days where the thought of gambling doesn’t even enter my thoughts. May everyone have some days where they can relax and not have to fight the fight so they can plan and prepare for the harder days as they come. Cat, glad the ‘thoughts’ are gone for you right now too. 

[neva]

Good morning Crushedsoul. I think we’ve all been at that point where dying seemed like the only way we could stop the gambling destruction…I know I have.  If you are still gambling doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be posting. As Paul wrote about this site "supportive and non-judgemental environment" Nobody will judge whether you are still gambling or not. All you’ll find here is support and encouragement.  In the beginning of my recovery, I had to block all access to cash.  That meant giving up my debit card, stopping check cashing privelages at the casinos making sure I didn’t have cash on me during the weekends.  The first few weekends I took a sleep aid and slept through most of the weekends so I didn’t have to face the urges.  I’ve had a few binges along the way but my recovery progressed because I kept posting, reading and wanting to do whatever it took to break the gambling cycle.  Your life is important, the need to gamble is overwhelming, do whatever you can to block your gambling (throw your computer, cell phone out the window on the freeway) so you can enjoy the life you’re meant to have.  I think the hardest part, in the beginning, is we want to stop the pain and loss so desperately but we don’t want to give up our ****** because we’re so addicted.  William, Paul and BlueElvis are very smart men so listen to their words. You’re in my prayers…not sure if you believe in a Higher Power but I know I wouldn’t be where I am now but for the Grace of God so hope you don’t mind. Sherry/Neva

[neva]

On the right hand side of this screen there is an Ad that give 50% off on Betfilter licenses when you enter the code:BET3E606.  My gambling of choice was slot machines but I’ve heard that a gambling filter on your computer is a huge help on top of blocking your casino accounts. In this case, more blocks are better. 
Welcome to GT Little Lady.  I’ve been working on recovery for many years.  It’s been a process but I finally got all debts paid and money in the bank.  You can do it too.  It won’t happen overnight but getting through ‘One Day At A Time’ without gambling will get you to where you want to be.  That’s the key, keeping it simple and just concentrating on today. It probably feels like an overwhelming amount but, ODAAT, you can recover.  You’ve taken a good first steps by closing your accounts and coming here to admit you need help.  I pray for a better life for you and your little guy.  You’re on the right road.

[neva]

I agree…clutter in your house is clutter in your soul.  Maybe that’s why ‘spring cleaning’ is so important.  You’re doing great!

[neva]

Happy Birthday Harry.  Hope you’re having a wonderful day!

[neva]

It’s a muddy mess on our property right now but I drove my little car through all the slush, mud puddles and mud bogs.  Those young kids with the 4-wheelers would have had a blast.  Not me though, I don’t like being pulled this way and that as I try to keep an even speed to get through our 40 acres.  At least the hill up to the house isn’t like that.  I took my camera today and as I was taking pictures, I felt like I was being watched. On a near butte I could see a huge bald eagle.  I looked but thought it was just too big be an eagle and it must just be a rock formation jutting out.  Then it turned it’s head so I zoomed the camera in and got a picture.  It’s the biggest eagle I have ever seen.  They hang around at calving time for the leftover afterbirth.  I’m so glad I got a picture so my husband can see it for himself.  He says sometimes they sit quietly on a fence post waiting and they are pretty darn big…but this one was a monster.
Got some good pictures.  All the windows and french doors have been installed. (no handles or locks yet though).  I’m worried the constuction workers might have to wait for the road to dry out before they come back up so things might slow down.  The electrical panel is in and looks good…like I know anything about electrical stuff. lol
RG, I did my best to not get irritated at mom.  She talked about the casino and that she is going to an out of town casino with 5 of her friends the end of the month.  They’re spending the night and I’m sure they’ll have fun. I tried to tune out the casino talk but then she got on how much it’s going to cost to have her tooth fixed and everything one dentist told her and then what another dentist told her…finally she was running out of tooth talk so then it went to her city water garbage sewer is going up and ‘us seniors’ just can’t afford that.  She doesn’t realize that we’re all in the same boat together.  Mom’s social security and the 2 pensions my dad left her is a lot more than I make a month so she is very fortunate. I didn’t tell her today, because I’m trying to be nice, but I have told her before that the real thief cutting into her living/spending money is the casino. Maybe someday she’ll realize that on her own.
Hope everyone had a great gamble-free Saturday.  I did.

[neva]

I lost the post I just wrote to you. I agree that cleaining out clutter makes us less stressed…maybe not while you’re working at it but a clutter free living area give us a serene home.  It’s good to read that you are taking care of yourself…or at least trying too. Hope you’ve followed through on at least one of them. Have a wonderful weekend. 

[neva]

You have a great outlook Deb.  Looking forward to hear about your new place and new adventures! 

[neva]

Thanks Uncontrolled, Running Girl, Vera and Carole for taking time to offer help in my recovery.  Uncontrolled and RG, you are both right about enjoying the time left with my mom.  I’m going to talk to her today without being irritable and on edge.  She has a very active life (much more than I do) where she plays bunko, pinochle, has Bible study and lunch on Thursdays with the girls.  Some of their pinochle tournaments last until the wee hours of the morning.  She’ll turn 77 in a couple of months and looks about 10 years younger. She has a large group of wonderful lady friends and a boyfriend that adores her…most of the time.  Anyway, I took a long look at myself and am trying to be a better person towards my mom and my co-workers…not matter how irritated I get. lol
Carole, your country home sounds amazing.  I can only hope mine will be as relaxing and enjoyable.  I am already picturing the lawn chairs lined up towards the clear northern sky.  I’m looking foward to having my family spend time and feeling like they are pampered and loved and want to keep coming back.  We’ve lived in a 1-bedroom house for too many years…guess that’s the price we paid as a compulsive gambler so now it’s time to move onto a better life.
Vera, there is no choice (or money) to gamble this weekend!  I do not have any cash or access to cash just in case I get a crazy thought and I think not being able to get money to gamble helps keep the thoughts and urges away. I also have another insurance to keep me out of the casino.  My husband’s uncle just started working there again.  He used to work there and I remember walking out of the casino in the early morning hours and he acted so surprised to see me.  I was very embarrassed and stayed away for a long time.  Well, he’s back and I wouldn’t want to risk him seeing me again.  My gambling addiction isn’t known to many people and I sure don’t want my husband’s family thinking any worse of me! 
Thanks for your prayers.  I’m sending them back to you as well for a gamble free weekend. 

[neva]

Cat, that’s a very good point that we have a choice to gamble…to feel the pain and devastation from gambling that’s so bad we want to die.  Then there is Ruth.  A loving mother, daughter and friend living a wholesome life and dealt the hand of cancer.  Not wanting to die but no choice in the matter.  My prayers are with Ruth today.

[neva]

Cat, I am praying for Ruth, her babies, family and you.

[neva]

Alex, this is a terrible addiction and is so hard to break but, as long as you never give up trying to stop, you will reap the rewards of recovery.  Read Kathryn’s thread.  She has changed her life and so have many others.  Everyone’s journey is different so nobody can map it out for someone else.  Vera is right about handing over all sources of gambling opportunities such as cash, debit, paypal or credit cards.  You might feel strong today but there will come a time when you are less than strong so, instead of ******** on will power (which doesn’t work very often), protect yourself by not having access to money.  You’ll feel frustrated, upset, maybe beg your partner for money…but those feelings will pass and you’ll be so relieved you couldn’t gamble and hadn’t lost any money. The longer you go without gambling the stronger you’ll get.  If you can self ban, do it.  Do everything you can because you deserve the life you’re meant to have and it does not include gambling.

[neva]

Ed, that’s great news that you’re smiling again! Even though you’ll be working, it sounds like gambling won’t be an option so enjoy the calm of not fighting any urges…even if work isn’t so fun. There are many ***** that I don’t want to be at work but working keeps me away from gambling.  I used to wish I had a job on the weekends too just so I couldn’t end up in front of a slot machine.  Don’t work too hard.

[neva]

Эд, это отличная новость, что ты снова улыбаешься! Несмотря на то, что вы будете работать, похоже, что азартные игры не подходят, поэтому наслаждайтесь спокойствием, не борясь ни с какими побуждениями … даже если работа не так увлекательна. Есть много *****, с которыми я не хочу работать, но работа удерживает меня от азартных игр. Раньше я тоже хотел работать по выходным, чтобы не оказаться перед игровым автоматом. Не работай слишком усердно.

[Author]

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