[neva]

Hi Lorraine.  I want to jump up and yell ‘hurry up and ban’ if that’s been working for you so far. I have the same ‘blocks’ in place that I’ve had for years and, even though I’ve been doing well, I don’t want to risk going back ‘there’ so I want you to protect yourself too.  Of course I’m not telling you what to do but I know every time we gamble we’re feeding our addiction and it’s just too hard to get the urges to die down again.  I wish the best for you! Sherry

[neva]

I’m still in for a gamble free March.  Hard to believe the first week is already behind us.  As happy as I am to have so many gamble free days, I’m even more happy and thankful that my friends here are working towards recovery…whether it’s the whole month, part of the month or even just a few days, ODAAT we’ll all get to where we need to be together.

[neva]

Hi P, just thought I’d check in and see how you’re doing.  Not sure if you have your son this weekend, and know it’s hard for you when he’s not home, so I wanted to offer some encouragement.  Just remember, you only have to get through ODAAT and if that seems overwhelming, you only have to get through the next few hours.  There’s always something on TV, a project at home or something that will keep your mind occupied for a short period of time.  Breaking the day down by hours helped me many ***** and I hope it helps you too.  Was your son happy with his new room arrangement?  Some***** change is good! Hope you’re doing well and enjoying your weekend.  Sherry

[neva]

Hi David and welcome to GT.  Every day we don’t gamble is important and two days is an additional day away from destruction. Great job!  There will be a ‘welcome’ coming from GT with links that will help.  My suggestion would be to spend as much time as possible reading and posting just to keep yourself away from the slot machines.  Do you have any blocks in place like handing all financial matters to your wife?  I cut up my debit card, limited all access to cash and stopped check writing privileges at the casinos within 150 miles.  It’s hard to do at first because I didn’t really want to stop gambling…I just wanted to stop the losses but now I know I want a life without gambling…that took a couple of years before I made that choice.  I’m a slow learner. I’ve been to Montana a couple of *****. It’s a beautiful State but it does have a lot of gambling venues. Not sure how their self-banning works but you might want to check into that too.  You’ve taken a big first step to a better life. Nice to meet you.  Sherry

[neva]

My life is getting back to normal.  The funeral was huge and very nice…if funerals can be ‘nice’.  There were over 500 people in attendance. The 6 days leading up to the funeral were tough for the family.  Everyone was exhausted. I hired a house cleaner (my husband’s aunt) to clean mom’s house after everyone left. I gave her a hundred dollars because it was short notice and I know she needed the money.  All this time without gambling has made a HUGE financial difference in my life.  It felt great to be able to leave a hundred dollar bill for her without feeling strapped…or without having the money ear-marked for gambling. The night before, I loaded all the dirty towels, bathroom rugs and sheets (at mom’s house) and took them to the laundry mat.  I wasn’t sure if I had enough cash so I asked mom if she had any quarters but she didn’t have any cash at all.  It was the day she has lunch with her friends and goes to the casino so I should have known.  My heart broke for mom because I know the feeling all too well of spending every last dollar at the casino.
As I looked around at all the people at the funeral, I wondered how many had ever considered suicide.  I know most of us gamblers have had it cross our minds but I think lots of people have their demons and suicide, if just for a moment, sounds like a better option than living. Many people said they had no idea he had ‘dark ****** because he was always happy. He was very charming and good looking.  The young girls loved him…I think older ones did too. Just goes to show that you never know the struggles anyone else is going through.
Here it’s March 9th and my calendars were still on February.  It’s like my normal life stopped last Saturday morning, and after a week, it started up again.  My plans today are getting some groceries, checking the mail (it’s been a week since I’ve been to the Post Office too) and cleaning up around our new house.  There are lots of scraps from the construction workers.  It’s a beautiful day today so it’ll be nice to get outside.
Hope everyone has a gamble free day and a day that makes them happy.

[neva]

Having a clutter free home is good for your soul.  One thing our new house will have is lots of storage but I’m still going to try on not accumulating ‘stuff’.  It’s tough I know!  I applaud you for taking the step to get rid of clutter!

[neva]

Sounds like you’re living!  Thanks for sharing.

[neva]

Yes, you need to take time for yourself. Being sick and still taking care of everyone else isn’t good for your health.  I know women don’t usually have the luxury of doing nothing when they are feeling bad.  We still have to go to the store, make dinner, clean-up and go about life with little interruption. But, your daughter is older and would understand that you weren’t feeling well. Tell her and allow her to take care of you. Hope you are getting some rest and feeling better today.

[neva]

Lizabeth, I’m sorry to hear that your husband’s co-worker was complaining. That is shocking that they wouldn’t have compassion and do what they can to help him. But, it sounds like you have good people in your life too.  Hope the furniture brightens your life a little and your car gets fixed and running like new.  Has your husband signed up for SS disability?  I’m not sure how that works but I know people on it that aren’t disabled and could be working.  If they got on it, your husband should definitely benefit from it.  Hugs to you Liz.  Sherry

[neva]

Ed, I voted to allow Indian Casinos in our area. In fact, I couldn’t imagine why anyone would be against it.  My only experience with gambling was the couple of ***** I’d been to Nevada and I was so careful and always came home with money.  I had no idea how addicting it was and that I would waste years of my life and tons of money over the next 14 years.  I don’t think the casinos will ever go away now.  Too much money being made and too much greed. I would love it if the casinos/gambling shut down because of poor business but I think as soon as one of us finally stops the madness there are many others getting sucked in.  Not only will I imagine that gambling is banned world wide, I’ll pray for that to happen to save us all. 

[neva]

Every day we don’t gamble is a gift to ourselves and 15 of them is wonderful.  I remember a time when getting through a weekend was such a struggle and I rarely made it but, after getting farther and farther away from gambling, it wasn’t nearly as hard of a struggle.  R2C, it’s good to see you’re progress…thanks for sharing. We’ll celebrate with you when you get your friend paid off.  Hope you have a great weekend too.  Sherry

[neva]

A sad weekend.  One where I would normally escape to the casino.  My son-in-law’s younger brother killed himself early Saturday morning.  I’ve spent the past few days crying, keeping the grandkids happy, making sure my daughter’s family and all the in-laws have food and everything they need so they can concentrate on making arrangements and getting things sorted.  None of them live here so they are all staying at my mom’s house (mom stays with her boyfriend anyway) wish we had our house finished. I’m doing everything for them as if they were at my house.  The 32 year old suicide victim lived with us for a few months when he was about 17 years old.  He was a pleasure to have in our home.  As he got older, that charismatic, handsome talented young man was diagnosed with mental illness and his immediate family knew it was only a matter of time before they would get ‘the call’…but that doesn’t make it any easier. People are shocked because they only saw him as a fun-loving happy guy. He hid it very well. Please pray that he finally has peace and that his family finds peace too.  
My granddaughters were picked up by my daughter’s friends so they could play with her kids.  I have a couple of hours before I need to pick my granddaughters up and the sad thought of going to the casino popped into my mind.  I didn’t have the urge to gamble…I just didn’t want to go home alone and I wanted to give my son-in-law’s family some private time because their mother just got into town. Going to the casino sounded too sad so I am home waiting for my husband to get off work. 35 more minutes.
Too much death, too much suicide and too much pain.  Just for today, I’m not going to add to the destruction by gambling. The funeral is Wednesday so it will be a few more tough days.
 

[neva]

SG, I know what you mean about finding something to ‘zone out’. I haven’t found anything but have found as I go longer without gambling, I am slowly getting back to the old weekends years ago without ‘itching’ to escape to the casino. I couldn’t even get into a movie on Saturday afternoons…couldn’t relax because gambling was always in the back of my mind. It’s not like that now.  Hang in there.  I believe it will get better in time.  You’re doing great.  As tough as it seems right now, once you feed the gambling addiction, it will be even tougher and you would be wishing you were back to day 56 and able to ‘wait’ out the urges.  You are doing something to be proud of.

[neva]

How wonderful! I know my Higher Power is there…I only need to be open.  That is a fantastic end to your story and a great reward to the end of your day. Thanks for sharing.

[neva]

Now I’ll always think of Taylor Swifts’ song ‘We are never getting back together’ with a smile.  I love that song and it makes sense! You’re doing great with your recovery and with encouraging the rest of us.  Thanks!  Sherry

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