[mythea]

Yes, Libbie. I try to take that agression I´m usually directing towards myself through self-hatred or self-destruction, and direct it outwards – where it belongs. Towards the casinos, towards the addiction. I´m at 3 weeks today, and so relieved for that! I feel safer and calmer every step I take away from my own self-destruction. I wish I will be ******** months soon, and I know that if I just wait I will be ******** years. Just some time back it seemed almost impossible for me to get rid of the gambling part of me, but I realize now that I have the chance to put it on a distance. So far away that it will not define me anymore. Hoping that someday in the future I can visit a bank, and I will have nothing to be ashamed of cause there wount be any gambling transactions in my recent history – and I will have savings. The good side of this addiction, if there can be any, is that i´m used to not spending much on other things in my life because I´ve never had the money! So now that I don´t gamble anymore I do have a low spending and I can call myself reasonable!
Wish you a nice day Libbie, and hope you find some peace throughout the day. And again: let us keep ********.

[mythea]

@Runninggirl: Congratulations to you too! We´re doing good! Almost 3 weeks now! I know all about moving the compulsion to another area in my life… Like you say it is all about finding a way to tolerate stress, anxiety and negativity without getting destructive. I also try to use music to soothe the inner pressure. Started playing piano a time back, and sometimes that works just to get my mind into something else, and to channelize my feelings. Going to a spa sounds like just the thing to do!! After years of gambling many of us has deprived ourselves of more constructive pleasures and treats because there just haven´t been any money for it… That´s one of the things I´m starting to appreciate now: I can buy clothes, and I can eat lunch at a café! Hope you have a relaxing time at the spa, and a nice gamblingfree rest of the weekend.
@Libbie: Yes, I feel I´m in a good track. I´m not giving away any more of my money! I´ve been running a “charity” here for years; just giving away everything I earn (and I know I need the money more then the people getting them!) Glad to hear your back in the track! Let´s keep walking together 🙂

[mythea]

Yesterday I had a real bad day! The tension was just building up in me, and I felt angry for no apparent reason. Usually I would have tried to get away from that **** by eating or gambling. Instead I just stayed in it and took a long shower. The warm water often soothes me. Very happy today I didn´t do anything stupid, cause the urge was definitively there. Day 19 today, getting close to 3 weeks.

[mythea]

It´s funny how the brain works. I´ve been going for days now without feeling any urge for gambling at all, but suddenly today, as I was waiting to cross the street, I was hit by a strong urge! And I know what triggered it! Just seconds before a car transporting a hourse ran by, and there, right in the middle of the city I heard the whin from the horse. And then one more. That sound was so unnatural where I was, and it reminded me of the online slot machines; they often have those kind of sounds when you hit a bonus. It was strange how deep my body engaged in that memory. Suddenly I started to think about how extremely exciting it is to be on a winning streak; like being in a never ending ****** (….) Like heroin! Earlier that could have triggered my gambling behavior, but I know now it is perfectly fine to have a feeling without doing anything about it. Day 17 continues….

[mythea]

Thank you 🙂 I like the feeling of the days accumulating…. Hope you have a nice day too.

[mythea]

Thank you so much Libbie. Day 17 today. Remember that it is harder in the first few weeks because the urge is stronger and the associations to gambling are plenty. You can get back in to it! Even though “we are all the same distance from placing the next bet…..”, as Cat in this forum so wisely put it, the associations does become weaker in time! The less we think about it, the longer the time since we last did it, the less we are reminded and tempted. Right now we have to fight the urge daily, in a year we might have to be on the lookout, but only deal with the impulse once a week. IT GET´S BETTER!! 😀

[mythea]

Well done running girl!!!

[mythea]

Thank you “icandothis” and “bogdan12”. This site IS really helpful! It keeps reminding me how destructive gambling is, so I can´t fool myself into thinking it´s a good idea! Hope you join me soon Bogdan12. I do feel so much lighter already now after 2 weeks. It´s a form of anxiety that´s leaving me when i´m able to control myself. Believe in a better life!

[mythea]

I would like to join too! My last gambling day was March 17.

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