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“Please dont think of this as a financial problem, but As a lifestyle and behavioural one.”
“You will sort Things out, but don’t rush. Concentrate on yourself, not on the debts. Take small steps, and remember you can sort out your money, your life, and your peace of mind, but don’t think like a gambler, think like a measured individual who is wise and learning from mistakes.”
When we are in fhe hole for so much, I know the feeling of just wanting to get your money back to break even and never look back.i know the feeling of not even enjoying gambling, not getting excited even when we win, because all we want is to get that loss back. We have to accept that the money is gone. Even if we got the $ back. We would somehow convince our brains That we are even now, we can be smarter. Place smaller bets, have more logic and self control. All a lie ; been there hundred times, maybe I was smarter for a day, a week, 2 weeks feelings amazing like omg I’ve figured it out, just to go back and lose all my winnings From the week, then start a chase and lose every penny to my name walking out of there asking what the hell just happened? there is no worst feeling to me. The amount of sleep I have lose and the life I have wasted puttijg My time into gambling. Like you I have about -35k of gambling debt right now, the past year has been a complete blur like you said, maybe up and down for well over 150k with wins and losses… most people think we are absolutely Mad, but those people don’t understand addiction. Be gentle on yourself today man, tell your mind this is not you, this is your addiction. You are taking the steps in order to fix this. You have to want it, want it so bad it consumes your brain. Just like sports betting consumes you and casinos consume me, let la let recovery consume us. Let’s be OBSESSED with stopping. Let’s make it IMPOSSIBLE. To gamble. Keep pushing forward, talk to your family, your gf, post here. You will be ok, I will be ok. There is life ahead of us, and many years of it. But I can promise you if you continue , that 50k will turn to 500k. Then 5 million, but if you stop now and never look back. You will get your losses back and come out on top … i want to hear your success story man. I will leave you with this quote someone posted to me a year ago, I’ve relapsed maybe 20 times since. I finally understand it now that I’ve hit rock bottom. I hope you really understand it, because I didn’t until now.
I liken it now to looking at a cliff face. There are two possible routes up.
One is hard, beyond our ability but we keep trying and keep falling off, we think it is the quickest way up, we want to try and prove ourselves in some way. On this route we have also hit the ground and hurt ourselves many times.
The other route is more straightforward, lots of attainable moves, there are even some bolts we can clip onto for support. Maybe it is more boring but it still leads to the top.
I finally have realised which route I need to take
its real tough to read your reply man, i Feel your pain in every word because I am in the exact same position right now. the good thing is we are still young and if we stop now we can rebuild but it will take time. A lot of people on this forum and at GA. Are well in their 40-60’s trying to beat this for 20-30 years.. they tell me they wish they had beat it when they were our age, they wish they cut their losses at -50k. inagine Some people I’ve met lost literally everything. Millions of dollars, their homes remortgaged, their businesses gone bankrupt for using company money. their partners left them, their kids don’t talk to them. Imagine that. Perspective is key man. Imagine you just save for 6 months. You will be the same age but have cleared all of your gambling debt and stack again. Trust me this feeling is temporary. I’ve been in the hole so many damn times to ***** where I felt like .. what’s the point of living anymore, then I think .. over money??? something we can make back in time. more important Than your debt is your quality of life man. There is no amount of $ that Can beat that. Like you, I want to be financially successful so badly, But i realize GAMBLING will never take us there. It’s a lie. you And I will not get there by gambling. there is only one way for financial success and that’s to work hard. As the days pass , our brains will become more healthy as we will have a clearly mind and as time goes on without gambling , we will learn to treat ourselves more kindly and talk to our brains in a positive way instead of beating ourselves up and feeling like pathetic losers. So much pain and agony, stress, frustration, anxiety. Loss of jobs, work performance, loss of appetite, sleep, loss of happiness and motivation. emptiness, self hated.. I never want to feel these again and I’m sure you don’t either. We MUST think if all these feeling before we place our first bet. Not after. if we do it after, those same feelings are right back. Every small victory is still a victory man, everyday that passes gamble free is a day you’ve won. Keep your head up, life is worth living, it is not us, it is our addicted brain.steev said to me Don’t be hard on yourself. Be hard on your recovery. That hit home.
stay focused man. there are brighter days and we’ve both seem them. We can see them again.
Hope you are well. Always thinking of you in your recovery and how much you’ve been there for me. Please let me know
How you are doing. Keep on fightingAlways thinking and praying for you in your recovery. Please pop and in and let me know how you are doing.
Keep on fighting Jen. God blessThanks for sharing your story. I know you hear this all
Of the time, but I could have written that word for word. Truthfully I relate to every single word you have just written there. The anger. The sadness. The frustration. The why? How? When did it get this bad that it is completely out of my power. The self loathing, the over thinking, the anxiety. Many emotions are felt through this terrible addiction and you are bang on when you said no amount of Money is worth this quality of life. Like you I only post when I relapse and lose. We wouldn’t be here if we were winning right? But inevitably nobody wins as a gambler. Maybe 1% who quit while ahead. Very rare. I can relate to being Middle Aged and living with your parents. I’m 30 in December and just had to move back in with my mom and dad because I had no Money to pay my rent. Gambled all of my credit, increased the limit to gamble more, all over draft, all credit line. Like steev said we have to hit a rock bottom before we change. But there is always a further bottom if you don’t fix this issue now, my bottom became new this week when I relapsed and lost it all again for the 100th time. Feeling all of those emotions you are feeling now. Let my family down, my friends who care about me, lived in secrecy, lied where I was so many times, seen my mom and dad and sister cry not knowing what to do to help. We can beat this but as steev always tells me we need to put as much into recovery as we do into our gambling, “we are either working on recovery or we are working on relapsing.” This stuck with me always. We need to really think about this daily and repeat it as many times as we can. Trust me you are not alone. Gambling not only puts us in a financial crisis. But it always ruins our life and the person who we once were. Basically it robs us of all confidence. Let’s get it back, let’s take it day by day, and dont be hard on yourself, I know it’s easy to tell your mind these negative things and feel like a pathetic loser, but this is our addictive brain overpowering our logic. I will leave you with this quote someone posted on here to me nearly a year ago. I wish I had read it daily, Maybe I wouldn’t have relapsed so many times and lost it all over and over. Take care of yourself man. You can beat this.I liken it now to looking at a cliff face. There are two possible routes up.
One is hard, beyond our ability but we keep trying and keep falling off, we think it is the quickest way up, we want to try and prove ourselves in some way. On this route we have also hit the ground and hurt ourselves many times.
The other route is more straightforward, lots of attainable moves, there are even some bolts we can clip onto for support. Maybe it is more boring but it still leads to the top.
I finally have realised which route I need to take