[MurrS7]

thank you for reaching out. I hadn’t gambled since Dec 31 2018, until yesterday. 4 days ago my gambler friend told me there is a way to get into the casino if you’re banned. Just park across the street so they don’t see your licence plate number when you drive in; Surely I tested It yesterday and it worked. I took 1000$ and sat at high limits blackjack. Seeing the same faces I used to see everyday, miserable, sad, distraught and empty. I climbed from 1000 down to 200$ , then back to 1000, then up to 2100. 1100$ profit wasn’t enough for me to walk with, because it’s never enough. I kept playing for another 2 hours and lost the 1100 profit, 1000 I brought , and pulled another 1000 off my debit and lost that too, lucky I had reached my limit for the day to withdraw. I walked out of there feeling that Samw feeling I never wanted to feel again. Angry, sad, numb, empty, desensitized. I had to cover A 2500$ bill I had to pay yesterday so my goal was to win 2500, that’s why 1100 wasn’t enough, I ended up losing that plus 2k if mine, now had to pay the bill so it worked against what I went to do. Why didn’t I Walk? Because winning 1000 was like a penny compared to the 10-20 I would win when I was in this life deep. I needed to feel that big win, and it never came, instead I felt the sorrow, self hate, self loathing, and self destruction that I never wanted to feel again. Now I realize I have to attend GA. My asdicrion is not cured at all, I went right back firing huge hands when I said I would have better willpower and know when to walk. I came clean to my gf that I relapsed, she is very supportive and will get me the help I need. I need to get rid of this for good. It has been over 100 days g free. No urge. But also no mechanisms obviously if something happened where I was having the urge to go, because I failed. Day 1 now, and seeking the help I need to get rid of this disease. i am a student and money isn’t coming in as fast as I want so I tried to get the easy fix of trying to pay off some bills but it never works out in the end. I hope you can find the courage to stop also, reach Out anytime and I will help as best I can. I want ya all to overcome this demon, gamble free life is the onlt life I want to live. This is my day 1, wish me luck. Thank you

[MurrS7]

Your words are greatly appreciated. It has been a struggle to stay away and I’m glad I didn’t wake up with regret, self loathing, maxing out credit and debit, starting from day 1. I feel because I’m in school and part time work money is coming in slower and I’m trying to find the Quick fix to pay off debts and have money to travel and enjoy life. But there is no winner with gambling , those big wins will just be lost eventually and a lot more of our own money, pride, mental health . Day 72. Cannot wait till day 365. Thanks for the support guys, means a lot.

[MurrS7]

Hey guys. Been a bit. I haven’t gambled since December 31,2018. That makes it around 70 days g free. Until today. I really wanted to gamble, badly. I grabbed 1000 and headed to the casino, I knew In my head I shouldn’t go, but I drove there anyways, even though I am self banned. I knew they had my license plate # so I was going to park at the lot next door and walk over, it’s almost like I wanted to get stopped at the door because I parked in the casino lot. I walked up to the door and security approached me right away, saying I can’t come in. Have 8 more months left of my 5 year ban. It felt good in a sense because I still have the 1000$ and it saved me fro the painful days of losing thousands… I could have thanked the security for doing me a favour. Went out for some dinnner with some friends after … continuing my gamble free journey, man it’s hard sometimes .. miss those big wins..:( 🙁 but I j is there is no winner in a compulsive gambler.. and I’m really happy I didn’t start the evil cycle all over again… hope everyone is doing well. Keep fighting those demons.

[MurrS7]

hows the gamble free streak going? Hope all is well.

[MurrS7]

I’m day 31 gamble free today. Let me tell
You it hasn’t been easy. I had a dream I gambled
Last night and I woke up with a strong urge.
I drove near the casino and even though I was banned
I thought of a way I could disguise and sneak in.
I turned around. I don’t want to feel the Pain of losing
Hard earned money, I never want to feel that pain again.
I guess finances aren’t the greatest right now and I think
Of those times I ran the chips up to 20 thousand bucks ina. Couple of hours. I reminisce on those days, but know it was not real because I lost it all. I will always be a gambler till the day I die, I want to keep going strong, new month and will continue my streak, here’s to a better gamble free life. Day 32. Cheers

[MurrS7]

im a big sports guy also bro, been one my whole life. Surprised I never got into betting on it. I was always a casino guy. fell  in love with Vegas . A true gambler will always say they know. When you just said you know who’s going to win. It reminded me so much of myself sayinf I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HIT THAT NUMBER ON ROULETTE. I shoulda put that side bet down I knew those cards were coming. Look man this gambling, sports are just as tricky, underdogs win often! Injuries happen! upsets happen everyday! I always think of March madness for this example, it’s the beautiful thing that I’ve always loved about sports. We never know who’s gonna show up to play that day, even pros have off games. Just remember your old life before betting, how fun was it to cheer for your favorite team, it’s like euphoria when you see that game winning td or buzzer beater(big basketball fan) you can get back to a life of enjoyment of sports without worrying about losing this months rent or grocery money. We all have the power to change, and at times it may seem like there’s no hope. The human brain is so powerful. I believe you in you man. damn, even if you get the urge to bed, reach out to me here. Really wanna see everyone beat this demon. Take care of yourself bro. 

-Steve

[MurrS7]

Sorry for the spelling, typing on my phone is a pain !

[MurrS7]

Reading your story and it’s all too familiar brother. I’m 29
Now and have been gambling on and off for 10 years. We start off betting small 20-50$ and we get so upset when we lose. Then we become desensitized to the value of a dollar and start betting thousands. It’s a sick disease but the good thing is we are in control of it if we truly want to quit. For me in was casinos, roulette and blackjack. I know all about chasing losses , even when we get our money back to
Even , we think we can be smarter with our gambling but in reality we just end up losing it all again and more. I’d say I’ve lost well over 200k since I’ve been 18, my
Most recent binge of 2 months was about 60k in and out of my hands at the casino, winning and then losing it all and then chasing and then winning it back and losing it all again. It’s actually the wind that hurt us most, we feel invinsinle, we feel on top of the world, very empowering feeling . But oh boy do this ever losses hurt, we self loath, we get depressed, can’t focus on our jobs, school, relationships, it’s really sad. We have to realize that there’s a life outside gambling, a life of happiness (think back before you started betting , how much less stressed you were). It’s so hard to earn a buck and we just throw it all away in a couple
Of hours, hoping on the flip of a card or a sports match to help us get rich. I suggest you seek help brother, block yourself from all online betting site, open up to your gf, family, for support. It seems like you have a good life , young, educated, and good people in your corner. The good thing is also you are still young enough to recover from this financial loss and you can get the money back in no time. But if you continue man, you will lose a lot more of your money, your youth, and your mental health when these should be some of the best years of your life. I went 40 days gamble free until New Years, relapsed and lost about 3k in an hour playing blackjack, now I stared over again and I’m on day 16. Next time you have the urge to bet, just remember the feeling of losing. Remember it’s not worth it. There is a life outside of this addiction and it can be so beautiful . I know it seems like it’s all we know is to gamble, but I truly believe we can overcome this disease through hard work and determination. We are all in your corner. Keep posting , keep your journal active, we will battle these demons together. God bless you

[MurrS7]

laten we dit doen!! En voor we het allebei weten, komt er nog een 0 bij dat getal! In plaats van nog een paar nullen toegevoegd aan de hoeveelheid geld die we hebben verloren als we doorgaan met gokken 🙁

[MurrS7]

lets do this!! And before we both know, there will be another 0 added to that number ! Instead of another few 0’s added to the amount of money we have lost if we continue gambling 🙁

[MurrS7]

Да го направим!! И преди и двамата да разберем, ще има още 0, добавени към това число! Вместо още няколко 0, добавени към сумата, която сме загубили, ако продължим да залагаме 🙁

[MurrS7]

thanks Jen!! Ive lost far too much financially, mentally, and time of my life to keep this addiction going. And I’m only 29. It’s time to put this to rest once and for all!!

[MurrS7]

благодаря Джен !! Загубих твърде много финансово, психически и време от живота си, за да поддържам тази зависимост. А аз съм само на 29. Време е да сложа това веднъж завинаги !!

[MurrS7]

bedankt Jen!! Ik heb veel te veel financieel, mentaal en de tijd van mijn leven verloren om deze verslaving in stand te houden. En ik ben pas 29. Het is tijd om dit voor eens en altijd te laten rusten!!

[MurrS7]

Day 15 gamble free. Had a close call last night and almost drove to the casino cuz I was close by and I was going to try to sneak in(have a self ban) immediately thought of that feeling of walking out of there after losing 3 months of hard work ina less than an hour. Felt sick and turned around. Not worth it. I can, I will. This is my motto to quit gambling. I CAN . I WILL!!

[Author]

Posts