[MurrS7]

And remember bow gambling made you feel, depressed, self loathing , self hatred, regret, disappointment.., hating ourselves for what we did to our finances and our loved ones… remember if
You ever get the urge, remember how you felt. I never want to feel
That pain again, and you don’t either. Keep going… keep posting, we got this together .

[MurrS7]

Thanks for the message meg is means a lot. Sorry to hear of your brother friend. It’s def hard to fathom at such a young age when there is so much life ahead for it to be cut short. It’s been a hard few weeks, had a client quit on me. Still think about my losses daily, but I try to stay busy. I just wish I wasn’t in debt from gambling. I used to always gamble with my own money or the casinos. I never thought I was dumb enough
To use the banks money… it just shows how bad this addiction can get. I really just can’t wait to clear my debts. I think after i am debt free it will add less stress to my life. Good on you meg for day 23. I am day 21 today.. I guess they say 21 days to break a habit. Here is to a gamble free life. We got this together… let’s do this. Much love

[MurrS7]

i appreciate the message. I’m glad we are both sticking to our word of not gambling. It had been hard for me, only because I just thought this morning, I could have actually been out of debt right now from my gambling if I didn’t blow the money I have this summer so far, I took 2 trips, bought a new bed, and went out a bunch with friends, I’m just being hard on myself because my prioritities should have been to pay off my gambling debt before I went to blow money like I still had savings. Anyways I will just be smarter now and learn from this. I had a dream last night that I was at the Casino. I actually didn’t get though, it was pretty emotional for me when I woke up. I remember in the dream I was crying because I didn’t want to lose more $, and also break mt

streak of 19 Days gamble free. im glad I am still

gamble free. Today marks a very emotional day for me. 12 years ago today my friend died in a car accident at age 17. He was a great friend of mine. It makes me think that gambling is just losing money, he has lost his life and has been gone for 12 years now, will never get another chance at life. I must live for him and make him proud of who I can become. Life is short, let’s not waste it with this evil addiction, god bless you meg. I pray we get through this. We did not gamble yesterday nor the day before, and we will

not gamble today or tomrorow either. Much love

[MurrS7]

Reading your post reminds me of how big the magnitude this addiction can become. I used to get so upset losing 100,500,1000$ gambling. My latest binge I lost about 17k in 48 hours, putting me in debt, 10k was off a line of credit. 6k was savings, 1000 was cash advance off a credit card. I’ve been gambling for 10 years on and off. And trust me, I was once where you are right now, consider yourself LUCKY . That you lost WINNINGS. If you keep gambling , 1000$ will feel like losing 100$, then losing 10k will feel like losing 1k. There is no bottom to this addiction. I never thought I would put myself in this position. It can get worse, way worse, and when toy thin I you’ve hit the bottom, you can get to more of a bottom. And I beg you to not let it get there. I wish I can turn back to where you are right now. I’m 29, I’m slowing paying off my gambling debts , I used to always have lots of money saved up. I chased a 3k loss that turned into 17k in 48 hour period. please ban yourself from all casinos, online, however you gamble, this will ruin your life, your relationships, your happiness. It will strip you of your well being. I’m sure you can hear the pain. Through this post, I think about the losses daily, please quit while you are at this point, I don’t want you to feel this feeling and have to experience how evil this is…. try gambling anonymous, therapy, try anything and everything before it’s too late, before you start using the banks money to gambleC before your life is over.. I wish you the best, it’s never too late to quit.. I hope you do this for yourself. God bless

[MurrS7]

I’m ok thanks, one day at a time right? Day 16 gamble free today. I’m got my debt down below 12kCAD. Can’t wait till it’s single digits. I still think about my losses daily, but it gets a bit easier to swalllow them I suppose. Try to stay busy and work hard growing My business while still enjoying life. How are you

holding up? How is the family? Vacation? Please do let me know. Cheers to a gamble free life. Much Love

[MurrS7]

Good to hear your vacation was great!! Stay positive and keep going forward, never looking back. I’m day 11 today. We got this! I know what you mean about spending money on material things, we become frugal yet we blow thousands in minutes gambling with nothing to show for it. What a nightmare. I can’t wait to look back once I am out of
This hole and think of how expensive of a lesson this was tk us. We will move forward and enjoy
Life the way it’s supposed to be, with no gambling . I hope you’re pregnancy test comes back positive ! Bring new life into the world , now that’s something to look forward to.

[MurrS7]

I appreciate the words, thanks meg and Charles, Meg that’s is devastating and it puts things in perspective for sure. I hate that I had to cancel a trip I booked for my
Graduation present to myself before my gambling relapse, but it’s the reality of the mess I’ve put myself in because of this evil addiction. I’m going
To never look back. I’m 29. I have so much time and life ahead of me. It’s day 11 gamble free, some days I
Don’t think of it, other days I think
Of all the money I could have if I never relapsed. It really gets to me. I’m going to keep going strong, I know once my debt is paid it will be a bit of a weight lifted off my shoulders. 6 months till I’m 30. Goal is to have 0 debt and some savings again, I know I can, I’ve always been able to bounce back. Every time I got myself in this mess, I got out, I know this time I will get out and never look back. Charles I will pay off slowoet for sure, I want to
Enjoy the summer with friends still, so pay off by my 30tn is what’s it’s looking like, that’s my goal. Good luck to both of you. We can do this together, day 12 tomorrow. Gambling is a big fat lie that I never want to experience again.

[MurrS7]

Day 8 gamble free. The debt is crippling me and I am downing beyond my means. I just cancelled my trip to miami next week. I just can’t afford it and I knew that, I had to do this. Miami will always be there, I can’t go deeper into a hole. Right now I’m busy with my personal training business, staying busy. I am going to attend a meeting tomorrow, I will take your advice and lower the like of credit every 1000$ I pay off. Smart idea. I will remain focused and remember gambling is no way to make money, I will always remember this feeling of dispair. It’s really hard. I’ve always had savings, I’ve always been able to travel, buy thing I like, eat out at restaurants. Take girls out for dates, have fun in the summer, and now I’m doing all of those things still.. not realizing that I am in debt. I am not being smart right now, but to be honest, I’d rather enjoy life than lose more to gambling. Money I can make back and I will eventually, but I need to budget better. Its hard going from being fibancially free to worrying

avout being able to afford things. I need to rewire my brain. I hope you are all doing well. I cannot wait to clear my debt. Around 13k right now.. manageable if I am smart I can pay it off within 3 months. Just need to focus. Thanks for the suppprt guys. 5 clients today … staying busy .. trying to smile through all the BS. Life must go on, life must be better eventually … time heals all. Love

[MurrS7]

Just read your thread. So similar to mine and give me chills because it was like i was reading my own. Same amounts. AMe chasing, same self loathing, same relapses. It’s crazy. You are not alone and I am here with you every step of the way. Enjoy your vacation, your family, experiences .. things money can’t buy, things gambling stripped us of and robbed us of our happiness and time. I am day 4 today g free, working lots trying to grow my business. Saving money chipping away at my debt the right way. I know you can do it, you are strong. You know you will always be able to make money and save, but if we gamble and relapse, we start this mental torture all again. I wish you nothing but happiness. Never look back, we are in this war together and we are stronger than any bet. Believe that.

[MurrS7]

that means a lot to me. And I know we can get througg this together. We can learn from this awful mistake and think of the torture it brought upon us, and our loved ones. I don’t want to feel that ever again, or let myself or anyone around me down. I want to be gamble free for life 🙁

[MurrS7]

thank you for this. I will look into it later today. Anything that can help, I am going to try. 

[MurrS7]

i appreciate that. I want it bad this time. I don’t want to look back. I want my life back. How are you doing with your recovery? Do let me know! Have a great weekend. A gamble free weekend. One day at a time.

[MurrS7]

I tried the meetings, but stopped. It is very depressing for me there, I don’t like to be in places with that much negative energy, surprising those meetings actually made me want to gamble more, as all people talked about was gambling. I don’t know, it was odd, so I stopped going. I def will need one on one counselling. But I don’t have insurance right now and can’t afford to pay for it out of pocket. It’s funnt because like meghna said, I always gamble when I spend too much $ or when $ isn’t coming in fast enough. If I was making steady income and seeing my savings rise, I likely would never gamble. Truly, I gamble to try to get rich fast, and always fail. I know this will Be hard, and once my debt is paid I will
Be so relieved. I realize now I must work hard, focus on building my brand(personal training business) help others, and good things (mentally and financially) will come my way. I have been gamble free for years at a time. My trigger is Las Vegas. My binge and relapse started the day after I returned from Vegas on sept 5 2018. On sept 4 I lost roughly 10k usd in 30 minutes and that’s when I felt the feeling
Of
A first real big loss… to me. When I got back I started chasing it., that’s when I first experienced chasing a loss. From there is was down hill … fast forward 9 months I have been gambling on and off really heavily, tried to ban.. didn’t work obviously I was getting into casino np. I hope 9 months is all. July is coming up soon and I want to really start clean. Like meghna said I want to be addicted to my recovery as much as I was and am addicted to gambling. Thank you steev for your words. I want to make myself, and everyone around me proud and never gamble again. I really want this. There was a quote that said , “when you want to succeed, as bad as you want to breathe, only THEN, will you be successful. I want my gambling recovery to be like the air I need to breathe, to live. Cheers to a gamble free life. No looking back. This is my
Day 3. Gamble free.

[MurrS7]

I should have never had access to line of credit, worst part I had an rrsp and tfsa. I had 10k in each of those that supposed to not be able to touch. All I had to do was call

my bank and easily transfer the money out and in to my chquing. gambled that away. Funny I never thought my addiction would gamble with the banks money. It was always my own, or the casinos. it goes to show how much of a bottomless pit this really is. I used to read stories of people gambling with credit and I would think how can someone Do that. I could never do that. Well look at me

now. I am what I read and never understood. It drives me crazy if I think about it too much. Well now

as soon  I pay off the 10k line of credit, I’m closing it down. I also called the bank and told them I am a cg. Decrease my daily withdraw limit. my anger and frustration comes inwaves. I really just can’t believe what I’ve done to my life, sabotaged it from my own Decisions to step foot in that hell hole for the 599th time. Every relapse being worse than the one before. The problem now is I don’t know the value of a dollar. I’m trying to retrain my mind. If I make 1000$ in a week from work , it doesn’t feel like anything. I don’t know what I have to do to go back to normality. I guess time will heal this. Sorry. Thanks for checking in. I appreciate you a lot

[MurrS7]

it means a lot to me, thank you. I appreciate all of your words of encouragement and I know you got this too! I just keep thinking about past losses more than anything.. how my whole life changed last month financiallY. I really want to forget about this… it eats me up inside 🙁

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