[MurrS7]

Day 4. Rough day. But I’m still going gamble free
What else can I do

[MurrS7]

your words mean a lot to me.

i didnt know there would be many relapsed during

my attempt at recovery.

i truly thought there was no way I could ever

be in this position once again. But that’s the beast

of addiction and I know this will be a lifelong battle.

i don’t want to  gamble again. I didn’t even enjoy the last 15 times I gambled , I was just trying to break even. Walking into the casino would make me sick, I didn’t even get a rush

or a thrill anhmore, it was just to try to get my money back and it never came.

i will treat gambling as serious as my life now.

if I gamble again, it is like ending my life.

placing another bet, is like committing suicide.

and I don’t want to die.

god bless you 

[MurrS7]

thanks for those words, it’s so true

i kept asking god on the way in please just

help me break even and I’ll never gamble again

ha! Ive broke even plenty, and just went back

and lost it all over again. If god helped me break even

there would be no lesson learned. 

i Accept that money is gone, and never going to see it again. 

Chasing my losses cost me half a years salary in about 10 hours total. And that’s something I will have to live with,

i wont forget about it, but it will become easier to accept.

its just money at the end of the day. I rather live a gamble 

free life broke as heck right now, than be rich and gamble.

thats the way I got to look at it.

[MurrS7]

not read it but I will look into it Jen thank you.

day 3 today, haven’t slept much the past few nights at all.

i am coming to terms that money is gone forever

and I am not getting back through chasing,

i accept my losses as a hard lesson learned.

i will work hard, and save, and live a gamble free life

i will not gamble today.

[MurrS7]

My first one on one counselling session is booked for
Tuesday. It’s for addiction counselling. I have been
An addict for as long as I can remember. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, you name it. My trigger to gamble is usually booze and drugs. I need to beat all of my addictions for
Good. I’m really looking forward to therapy. Need a sober and gamble free life again. Need my life back before it’s too late

[MurrS7]

Reading my whole thread just now and all my
Relapses.
Funny my first post says alll the money I lost “but at least I’m not in debt”
That’s when I was using my own money to gamble
Never did I imagine i would fast forward a year and use
The credit card and banks money.
It’s true this disease is a bottomless pit
There was a quote and it said “a Cg once told
Me that gambling has no bottom, just when you
Think you’ve reached the bottom, you can dig further to a hole you never thought was imaginable” I know this isn’t the
Bottom. More credit cards, more loans, more ways to find money. I need to stop the bleeding at -24k before I add
Another 0 on the end of that.

[MurrS7]

Jen for your continuous support. I really get by these days
With the help
Of amazing people like yourself. God bless your beautiful
Soul.

[MurrS7]

Should be day 70. So saddening
A weekend truly from the pits of hell.
Please help me get through this hard time of my life
I pray these days never come back.

[MurrS7]

this one got me emotional . I read through your whole thread

and broke into tears. I don’t want to gamble anymore

and it hurts so bad reading your posts but also

strengthens me to stop this evil disease. I really like

when you said you forgive yourself becuase you know

this is a disease, my mom dad and sister told me that the other night when I broke down. They said it’s ok, you need pro help becayse

you cant beat this yourself. I know we will beat it. And I can’t wait till we do. Thank you for posting Jen. I pray for you 

[MurrS7]

im really low waking up today. I don’t know

i keep replaying my relapse over and over asking

how and why. And it’s just making me so ashamed

and empty. this one hurts. I’ve lost more

before too, but this one hurts. 

[MurrS7]

I just read your thread and I feel your pain deeply. I know how hard it is to Stop and I know the feeling of a relapse and Hangover better than anyone. We do great for months, and then get triggered and fall back right where we left Off and relapse worse than the one before. Months of hard Earned cash gone in seconds. I was also attending ga And stopped, I should have kept going, I found it so depressing To attend because I thought I was the odd man out. I feel like we need tk attend to keep ourselves accountable I also feel we need to read the steps to recovery and Have strategies in place when we get urges. My trigger is booze. I have quit booze. What are yours? Please keep me Updated and know you’re never alone.

we are in this together and we will beat this together.

im praying for you.

god bless

[MurrS7]

i remember that one, it really resonates and I cant

wait to be at that day of remission. 

I have great news. I am starting a new job 

on the 9th. And I’m continlying my personal training

business at night while moving back within my

parents. This construciton job will pay 4K per month

with another 2.5k from my business gives me 6.5k

per month. I am on route to have my debt cleared  by 

my 30th and also for the start of a new year 2020.

thank you again for the continuius support. 

I appreciate you more than you know.

bless

[MurrS7]

it sounds like you have a great

job and if yoy beat this addiction you will

be able to save up easily and live a happy 

gamble free life again. I believe in you.

today is my day 1. And I’m so determined this time.

my 30th bday is in 120 days. I’m making it a promise

to myself, and to all of you. I will be on here telling

yoy all I made it, and I cleared my debt. I can’t wait

for that day. 

[MurrS7]

And it really hit hard for me

It’s not a contest.

I personally lost over $250k.

My friend lost 10x that.

The only number that really matters now is how many days since your last bet. Make that number grow, bud, and be proud.

I am so determined to quit this for good.

[MurrS7]

Im going to read your whole thread tomorrow.
I’m here for you and know you’re not alone.
We got this. I believe in you. One day at a time we will
Win this. I know it.

[Author]

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