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how are you doing in your recovery brother ?
Very touching read Daniel. I hope you’re doing ok now. This really stuck with me
Another lesson: gratitude is the cure for greed. One cannot become consumed by greed when they are grateful for what they already have, or even just for being alive.
Thank you for sharing your story
I wish you wellIt really is so true …
“Another lesson: gratitude is the cure for greed. One cannot become consumed by greed when they are grateful for what they already have, or even just for being alive.”
one couple hundred dollar loss turns into 3 day binge of thousands Jen. I’ll never understand it. The only thing I can understand is I have gotten out of the hole before, that’s what makes my mind thing chasing is actually doable, because hey if I’ve done it before I can do it again? No? Nope, not this time, chased till I had 0$ left available. Inevitably I guess that’s what it takes to stop? Who knows, I’m all so confused about this addiction. How like you said, 10,20,30,100 days feeling great no gambling, one relapse can put you right back to a place you said you’d never go again. You’re not alone Jen, I feel all this that you’re feeling, and that’s why the pain gets me because I feel yours deeply. Don’t beat yourself up, please. i know it’s so hard and we become hopeless, but there will be a day we can look back on these posts and say we have beaten this. We just need to really take the steps. I know it sucks but when you try to sneak into the casino, go right up to the desk and tell them youre banned. it will feel so good walking out of there with your hard earned money:( not hoping to hit big because you know we always lose, and if we win, we will lose what we won and then our own .. well thats was our own winnings too.. I’ve realized I’ll never get back what ive lost since. Was 18… so what’s the point.. I think we both need to realize that it is something we can’t get out of.. it’s so hard so accept. I havejt figured it out yet at all.. just when I thought I did, I relapse again. Praying for you Jen. You will beat this, I know you have it in you. Thinking of you during the hard times.. let’s take it day by day. You are worth it.
the typical chase. Been there so many times this year, which put me in this hole. Every time it gets worse, it’s funnt because I didn’t even know what chasing my losses was when I used to gamble. If i lost 500$, I would leave down 500$ I don’t know what made my brain think once that money I’ve came with is lost, go take out more ti try and get the initial money back.. it’s actually absurd to think about. I agree with everything you said that, we are doing so well, then all of a sudden the gambling thought actually beats our logic. I truly don’t get it but that’s why my counsellor is really trying to teach me about addiction and our brains. We can’t be so hard on ourselves because it’s us vs our brains .. we need to rewire them which is the most difficult thing . i can only pray we do stay gamble free. I can’t believe the casinos let us in after we self ban. This whole year I gambled I have banned myself 6 times over and over. I just wish the system was better at recognizing us, I’d be a lot less in debt and a lot more time gamble free. That Really gets me but I guess it’s us sneaking in that is the problem not actually the security:( hope ya feel better Jen and know you’re not alone. We can do this but we must really want it bad.
Here is a video I found, I keep watching it over and over again
Till it is engrained in my mind.I really do, and honestly i want you to know you’ve helped me today.
i was just about to go gamble right now.., thought take some more money off my credit card and try roulette.: the game I used to win at. Then I remembered how much I’ve also lost at that, and that gambling is pure luck and pure evil, then I realized im down so damn much… what am I really going to get back today. I’ll likely lose anyways, have to start from day 1, and be more in debt. I came on your thread and it hurts me because this addiction really takes control of our minds into tricking us we can get back our money lost.. or maybe we just miss the rush. Me I am not working much now so my debt is just getting worse. I want you to know that you helped me not gamble today, even though you are starting at day 1, you really helped me not relapse and I want to thank you for that. This is such a mental battle, and look you made it to 40 days, meaning you can make it to 400, and 4000, and eventually a happy gamble free life. I pray for you Jen, I wish you well.. I’m always around to chat if you get the urge.. please when you get the urge I find that. Re reading your thread.. makes you feel the horrible things gambling has done to us. It makes me sick to read my thRead from last year to today.. sick enough to not gamble? Sometimes apparently not.. god bless Jen.
that’s good you didn’t gamble, you are on a great streak and just remember how it feels to start back at day 1, (9/10) after losing hard earned cash. Keep going! You will be able to fight those urges the longer you are gamble free.. it feels so great to live a life without betting and scrambling around for money to pay bills etc. I wish you well Jen, I pray 2020 is a gamble free year for both Of us.
god bless you