[MrExon]

Dudley 29. elokuuta on aloituspäiväni! Näyttää siltä, että tulen kanssasi Kev! Herra Exon

[MrExon]

ਡਡਲੇ 29 ਅਗਸਤ ਮੇਰੀ ਸ਼ੁਰੂਆਤ ਦੀ ਤਾਰੀਖ ਹੈ! ਇੰਝ ਜਾਪਦਾ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਮੈਂ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਨਾਲ ਰਹਾਂਗਾ ਕੇਵ! ਮਿਸਟਰ ਐਕਸਨ

[MrExon]

Hey Jonny,

I’m not too bad, how are you getting on? No problem, it’s great to have the support from everyone, and the least I can do I give my support back.

Stay strong my friend.

MrExon

[MrExon]

I have been given my start date!

I have just received a call from Amy. She told me my mum had emailed her and that she could only speak to me about my personal matters (obviously, I’m “an adult”, what was my mum thinking?). I presume my mum was stressing out after this past week – I’m not surprised at all.

Anyhow, 29th of August is my start date in Dudley!

I’m not sure how this will pan out – my Aunt, Uncle and Gran are all out on holiday in Spain at our house at the time, therefore either my mum or dad will have to take me back, take me to Dudley, and then get a plane back to Spain again. I obviously don’t want to cause all that fuss, but my mum has said she needs to see where I’m going or else she will panic even more than she is at the thought of it. I would’ve liked to go back to Essex to see my uncle and my best mate Tom, but that’s not looking very likely. I know there was never going to be a perfect day, but that day is probably the worst of them all.

I’m glad, really glad that I have a date, but I’m a but disappointed that it’s a month after they had initially said (not there fault), and it being at such an inconvenient time (also not there fault). At least I have some motivation now, and I’m not walking around in the dark like I was before the phone call.

Mr Exon

[MrExon]

Hi Velvet,

Thank you for your kind words. It’s times like these where support from others is what keeps one afloat. I really appreciate it.

The reason I brought that subject up the other night was because I felt like I could get things off my chest. I could say what I was thinking, and I didn’t care about the consecuencies. I do in certain aspects regret asking, but it’s something that’s been eating me inside out for over 10 years, and I really need to go into GH with a clean conscience.

I’m sorry you’ve had to live with a CG, but at the same time I respect you staying with that person, and being by their side. CG’s aren’t bad people, we just have made a wrong decision in life from accumulated stress and issues, and have never known how to deal with them. I really do respect anyone who has stayed by a CG. If there is anything positive we can extract from being a CG, it’s that we can appreciate money, family, respect, decisions, love, our job, time, friends… I regret ever time I’ve ever gambled, but I think I will learn and be a bigger man because of it. It will make me into the man I will be one day, and I will hopefulyl look back on me now and say yeah, I screwed up, but I’m twice the man I once was.

I will recommend the forums to my parents although I’m not sure how interested they would be.

Thanks once again.

Mr Exon

[MrExon]

Hey Geordie,

8 weeks gamble free today! Wow, I never thought I’d be saying that. Today is my last payslip of which I won’t be receiving most of it – about 80% of my payslip has been paying off debt, and 20% I’ve had for going out, doing sport etc. Next pay day (which will probably be post-GH), I will be getting more than 20%, as I will only have a small portion to pay off!

I regret not starting a thread on day 1 of being gamble free, but it’s not the end of the world. I would love to be able to post whilst at GM but don’t think that will be viable!

I think it’s good to have my own thread to get things off my chest, and to be able to relate with other. I know I’m not the only one suffering, but a problem shared is a problem halved.

I’m feeling much better today than I was 3 days ago. I really do think that by not having my hour of counseling on here last week, that I managed to not get certain things off my chest, and then exploded at the weekend. I will try and make sure I get the hour in once a week every week (I had been up to last week, but I actually forgot about it last week).

My main issue now is that I don’t have and goals in life at the moment. My main goal is to be gamble free and happy again, but I can’t really “succeed” until I go away to GH and learn about myself, coping methods, etc etc etc. So right now I’m doing what I was doing when I gambled: sleep, gamble, eat, sleep, gamble, eat, sleep, gamble, eat; BUT without the gambling. I’m just letting the days go by, thinking that I will be in GH in a few weeks time, but the days pass and the phone never rings. There’s not a lot I can do at the moment because in a few weeks I’ll be gone and at GH. I’ve lost all motivation to do anything… I mean I am doing things, I’m playing sport, going out with friends, but I’d much rather I could go 3 weeks into the future, and it be day 1 at GH. I was told end of July, then beginning of August, then mid August… They said they’d give me some weeks notice (me being in Spain and that) so if they don’t let me know this week, I can’t see me going until the END of August. I know it’s not their fault but it just seems like a never ending wait, every day of which I’m suffering more… I’ve also been offered a job which would start in September and I can’t tell them when I will be back to start until I know my start date at GH. They are willing to wait but how long for? Will I even be out of GH before Christmas at this rate, to start the job in the new year?

I guess that’s what’s getting to me at the moment. I don’t have anything worthwhile to fill the time with, and the days are going slower and slower…

Thanks for being the first to write on my post, I really appreciate your support. Enjoy your time off, and thanks for being able to message me on your break.

Take it easy mate. Stay strong, stay gamble free.

MrExon

[MrExon]

Hi Geordie (again),

I’ve already replied to your post on your story today!

I’ve only just seen this as I didn’t get an email through as I’m not tagged into this new post, but I will be from now on.

You actually made me cry! I’ve felt very emotional today, so in a way, I’m glad you did. I’m sorry to hear about the coma. I’m sure it was very hard for you, but I’m extremely glad you got through it.

Thanks so much for getting back to me, your comments have been great and I am eternally grateful. Thanks.

I’m just going to copy and paste the highlights here for future reference if I ever want to come back and reflect.

“By accepting you are a CG and accepting that you are powerless against it, (you are it’s made you a thief and a liar).” – This one hit home hard.

“I talk about it I don’t go to sleep with things on my mind.”

“” just because the circus has left town, doesn’t mean the monkey’s off your back””

“Always remember that recovery is a journey, not a destination. Meaning you ( and all of us ) will never arrive. It’s not a target, it’s ongoing like life itself.”

Thanks Geordie.

MrExon

[MrExon]

Örülök, hogy végre megkaptad a kezdési dátumot. Sok szerencsét! Kívánom neked a legjobbakat. Maradj erős. MrExon PS: Ha eljutok Dudley -be, szinte biztosan együtt leszünk!

[MrExon]

ようやく開始日が届いてよかったです。頑張ってください！あなたの人生に幸あれ。強く生きろ。 MrExon PS：ダドリーに着いたら、ほぼ間違いなく一緒にいるでしょう！

[MrExon]

Jeg er glad for, at du endelig har modtaget din startdato. Held og lykke! Jeg ønsker dig alt det bedste. Vær stærk. MrExon PS: Hvis jeg kom til Dudley, vil vi næsten helt sikkert være sammen!

[MrExon]

Я рад, что вы наконец-то определились с датой начала. Удачи! Я желаю тебе всего самого лучшего. Оставайся сильным. MrExon PS: Если я доберусь до Дадли, мы почти наверняка будем вместе!

[MrExon]

드디어 시작 날짜를 받으셨다니 기쁩니다. 행운을 빕니다! 나는 당신에게 모든 최고를 기원합니다. 힘내세요. MrExon PS: 내가 Dudley에 간다면 우리는 거의 틀림없이 함께 있을 것입니다!

[MrExon]

Estou feliz que você finalmente recebeu sua data de início. Boa sorte! Desejo a todos o melhor. Aguente firme. MrExon PS: Se eu for para Dudley, quase definitivamente estaremos juntos!

[MrExon]

Jag är glad att du äntligen fått ditt startdatum. Lycka till! Jag önskar dig allt gott. Var stark. MrExon PS: Om jag kom till Dudley kommer vi nästan definitivt att vara tillsammans!

[MrExon]

Mă bucur că ați primit în sfârșit data de începere. Mult noroc! Iti doresc toate cele bune. Rămâi puternic. MrExon PS: Dacă ajung la Dudley, vom fi aproape sigur împreună!

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