[Monkey15]

I appreciate you sharing your story Johnny and the fact you have over 40 days GF is a real positive start. I myself am just hitting 53 days gamble free. Isn’t it a relief that we can do this? I too am not sure what is behind me starting to gamble and form this nasty addiction. This is perhaps where the hard work begins, trying to figure out why this happened to us. Stay strong and enjoy another gamble free day with us all.

Tina

[Monkey15]

Hekk kif qrajt il-ħajt tiegħek, nara u nisma 'ħafna emozzjonijiet u sentimenti li jġegħluni nħoss rasi bi qbil. Waqaft nilgħab 53 ġurnata ilu biss għax ma kellix aċċess għall-fondi, ma kienx hemm iktar disponibbli għalija. Allura meta l-membri f'dan is-sit jgħidu biex ineħħu l-aċċess għall-fondi, dak kollu nieħu issa … moħħi ma jħallinix inħeġġeġ issa daqshekk naf li m'hemm l-ebda flus li nilgħab magħhom. Dan jammira l-onestà tiegħek u naħseb li dan il-post huwa post sigur u mingħajr ġudizzju biex tkun hekk. Allura, titla 'lura fuq dak iż-żiemel u ibda mill-ġdid. Il-fatt li qiegħed hawn u qed tikteb jurini li trid tieqaf. Aħna lkoll hawn għalik, flimkien. Tislijiet ħanin minn NZ Tina

[Monkey15]

Ahogy végigolvastam a szálodat, sok érzelmet és érzést látok és hallok, amelyek miatt egyetértően bólogatok. 53 napja hagytam abba a szerencsejátékot, csak mert nem tudtam hozzájutni a forrásokhoz, nem állt rendelkezésemre több. Tehát amikor ezen az oldalon a tagok azt mondják, hogy távolítsák el a pénzeszközökhöz való hozzáférést, ezt most teljesen megértem … az agyam nem engedi, hogy most olyan sok sürgetést kapjak, mint ahogy tudom, hogy nincs pénze a szerencsejátéknak. Ez csodálja az őszinteségét, és úgy gondolom, hogy ez a hely biztonságos és nem ítélkező hely. Szóval, mássz fel a lóra, és kezdd elölről. Az a tény, hogy itt vagy és írsz, azt mutatja, hogy abba akarod hagyni. Mindannyian itt vagyunk érted, együtt. Üdvözlettel: NZ Tina

[Monkey15]

Konunuzu okuduğumda, başımı sallamamı sağlayan birçok duygu ve duygu görüyorum ve duyuyorum. 53 gün önce kumar oynamayı bıraktım çünkü fonlara erişimim yoktu, artık elimde para yoktu. Bu sitedeki üyeler fonlara erişimi kaldırmamı söylediğinde, bunu şimdi anlıyorum… beynim, kumar oynayacak para olmadığını bildiğim için artık çok fazla dürtü almama izin vermiyor. Bu dürüstlüğünüze hayran kalıyor ve bence burası güvenli ve yargılayıcı olmayan bir yer. Öyleyse, o ata geri dön ve yeniden başla. Burada olman ve yazman bana durmak istediğini gösteriyor. Hep birlikte senin için buradayız. NZ Tina'dan sevgiler

[Monkey15]

Dok sam čitao vašu temu, vidim i čujem mnoge emocije i osjećaje zbog kojih klimnem glavom u znak slaganja. Prestao sam se kockati prije 53 dana samo zato što nisam imao pristup sredstvima, više mi nije bilo dostupno. Pa kad članovi na ovoj web stranici kažu da uklone pristup sredstvima, sada to potpuno shvaćam … moj mozak mi ne dopušta da dobijem toliko nagona jer znam da nema novca za kockanje. Ovo se divi vašoj iskrenosti i mislim da je ovo mjesto sigurno i ne osuđuje. Dakle, popnite se na konja i počnite iznova. Činjenica da ste ovdje i pišete pokazuje mi da želite prestati. Svi smo tu za vas, zajedno. Srdačan pozdrav iz NZ Tina

[Monkey15]

Pe măsură ce am citit prin firul tău, văd și aud multe emoții și sentimente care mă fac să încuviințez din cap. Am oprit jocurile de noroc acum 53 de zile doar pentru că nu aveam acces la fonduri, nu mai aveam la dispoziție. Așadar, atunci când membrii de pe acest site spun să elimin accesul la fonduri, obțin acest lucru acum … creierul meu nu mă lasă să primesc atât de multe îndemnuri, deoarece știu că nu există bani cu care să pariez. Acest lucru vă admiră onestitatea și cred că acest loc este un loc sigur și fără judecată pentru a fi așa. Așadar, urcă-te înapoi pe calul acela și începe din nou. Faptul că ești aici și scrii îmi arată că vrei să te oprești. Suntem cu toții aici pentru voi, împreună. Cu căldură de la NZ Tina

[Monkey15]

As I have read through your thread, I see and hear many emotions and feelings that have me nodding my head in agreement. I stopped gambling 53 days ago only because I did not have access to funds, there was no more available to me. So when members on this site say to remove access to funds, I totally get that now…my brain doesn’t let me get so many urges now as I know there is no money to gamble with.

This admire your honesty and I think this place is a safe and non judgemental place to be so. So, climb back on that horse and start again. The fact that you are here and writing shows me you want to stop.

We are all here for you, together.

Warm regards from NZ

Tina

[Monkey15]

Hi there all you lovely people. Been super busy at work and I can’t believe how kind my partner is being to me. This has got me really confused. He checked I had enough money for groceries today..what the heck??? We are carrying on like nothing has happened and it is really weird??? We obviously have a lot to talk about…..will talk to my counsellor about this tomorrow. Hope life is treating you all well and we are all having another gamble free day. YAE!

Tina

[Monkey15]

I’ve been absent from you thread as all my energy has been going on some major life changes for myself. I hit my rock bottom about 4 weeks ago now and can tell you that things do slowly become better. I definitly did not think that at my lowest ebb and only now am starting to fathom of how much of myself had been lost to this horrendous and evil addiction. We are all survivors here at different steps of our recovery. I hold great hope that I will one day, help others on this site, like those that have helped me survive and tackle another GA free day. I’ve only just disclosed to my counsellor, GP and partner of how bad things got for me. I spoke to my GP today who said that he would have got me admitted to hospital if I had told him, 4 weeks ago of my plans. So, JP, we have our stories of pain, shame, recovery, surviving and thriving into a new and healthier way of living. Things do get better, one step, one day at a time we will get through this. Day 49 GA free for me today. What about you?

[Monkey15]

Hello all you lovely people. So many mixed emotions as the moment and yes, there is a sense of relief amongst the self loathing, embarrassment and shame. I have an appointment at the end of January with Christians Against Poverty and they are sending out a booklet and a list a things they would like me to gather before then. I am so glad that I found this site and forum. I’m not so sure I would have got this far without you guys….you have really been my lifeline during this horrible chapter in my life.

G (partner) was a bit gruff with me this am. Firmly informed me he would now be taking over all the finances. Wished he would just put his arms around me and tell me everything will be okay. Quick kiss and told me to,drive safely to work….this guilt will,fade with time, I know…. should I be trying to be my normal self or show him I’m sad because of what I’ve done. Hope you all out there are having another gamble free day as we fight this horrible monster!

[Monkey15]

Thank you everyone for your kind and generous thoughts and words. I still feel yuck, will this pass? My partner has turned out so good about this. Do I deserve this, is this what he is really thinking.? It would be so easy to let myself turn mad with all this overthinking. Perhaps all part and parcel of this process . I did think I would feel a little. Ore at ease but it seems all those around me think this was a good idea, was it really. I am being so very well supported but still feel so alone. As I re read this it seems that I am self loathing to bits. I do hope with time, this too will pass. As I pat my beloved Burmese girl (cat) who is my constant non judgemental companion,, I’m thinking that if I am ever reincarnated that I will return as a beloved Burmese, cherished, as she is by her slave.

[Monkey15]

When he came back I said to him that if he felt he couldn’t do this with me that I would understand. He replied that he was still here wasn’t he. He said we would sit down and try and sort this out in the next day or so when things have settled a little. I should be feeling relief but this feeling of being so ashamed sits on me heavily today. He encouraged me to do some work renovations with him earlier, and I think being very kind to me. I think I would feel better if he lashed out. What the hell? My counsellor is very pleased with me and offered to talk with him.

[Monkey15]

I thought I would be feeling more relief but feeling very low at the moment. Work is a struggle but the day nearly over and not one I would want a repeat of. Going to Doc tomorrow and informing him more of what has been going on for me lately. This addiction is a dreadful thing to be experiencing and what it does to our inner peace and soul, almost like a possession by someone else, was that really me?

[Monkey15]

Just spent an hour with my partner telling him what’s been happening with my GA. I nearly chickened out again, God, that was so hard. I feel so ashamed…..he was shocked and couldn’t believe what I’ve been doing and for so long. Feel flat now, he has gone into town, asked me to go with him but thought it best he has time to himself. I told about my thoughts of self harm, going to doc, Counselling and being gamble free for 48 days now. Hope this had made a difference to how he views this. I am going to give him an out when he comes back, to our relationship. He says he will support me but I want to make sure he doesn’t feel trapped.

Geordie thank you again for your wise words, will get to you later as feeling quite drained now.

Tina

[Monkey15]

I don’t feel so alone when I read your wise words of support. The counsellor has been suggesting that I tell my elderly parents. This is something which I will and can never do, I can not and I will not put them through anymore grief as a result of my addiction and I stand firm on my decision in regard to this. I know that a GA runs of secretcy but this would not only hurt and upset them but also cause them much stress and with my elderly father, possibly kill him.

Any way moving ahead, two important things to attend to tomorrow and I hope for strength, positivity and with hope also that things will work out with my partner. I have imagined the worse but hope for the best.

I had a fleeting thought today about gambling as I had the time, a little money (not mine) and a good excuse to be absent for a few hours, I fought that thought and won! 47 days is possibly the longest that I have gone in 18 years. May there be many more gamble free days for us all.

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