[monique]

Salut papa et/ou Sybil (je ne sais pas qui a posté ceci.) Oui, c'est un travail et une écriture très intéressants. L'aspect social (connexion) de la dépendance est extrêmement important. Monique

[monique]

Hei Dadda ja/tai Sybil (en ole varma, kuka tämän lähetti.) Kyllä, tämä on erittäin mielenkiintoinen työ ja kirjoitus. Riippuvuuden sosiaalinen puoli (yhteys) on erittäin tärkeä. Monique

[monique]

Szia Dadda és/vagy Sybil (nem tudom, ki tette közzé ezt.) Igen, ez egy nagyon érdekes munka és írás. A függőség társadalmi vonatkozása (kapcsolata) rendkívül fontos. Monique

[monique]

Hai Dadda dan/atau Sybil (saya tidak yakin siapa yang memposting ini.) Ya, ini adalah karya dan tulisan yang sangat menarik. Aspek sosial (koneksi) dari kecanduan sangat penting. Monik

[monique]

Привет, Дадда и / или Сибил (я не уверен, кто это опубликовал). Да, это очень интересная работа и письмо. Социальный аспект (связь) зависимости чрезвычайно важен. Моник

[monique]

Merhaba Dadda ve/veya Sybil (Bunu kimin yazdığından emin değilim.) Evet, bu çok ilginç bir çalışma ve yazı. Bağımlılığın sosyal yönü (bağlantısı) son derece önemlidir. Monique

[monique]

مرحبًا Dadda و / أو Sybil (لست متأكدًا من الذي نشر هذا.) نعم ، هذا عمل وكتابة ممتع للغاية. الجانب الاجتماعي (الاتصال) للإدمان مهم للغاية. مونيك

[monique]

Olá, papai e / ou Sybil (não tenho certeza de quem postou isso). Sim, é um trabalho e uma redação muito interessante. O aspecto social (conexão) do vício é extremamente importante. Monique

[monique]

Привіт Дадда та/або Сибіла (я не впевнений, хто це опублікував.) Так, це дуже цікава робота та написання. Соціальний аспект (зв’язок) залежності надзвичайно важливий. Моніка

[monique]

Hallo Dadda en/of Sybil (ik weet niet zeker wie dit heeft gepost.) Ja, dit is een heel interessant stuk werk en schrijven. Het sociale aspect (verbinding) van verslaving is enorm belangrijk. Monique

[monique]

Just a personal welcome as well.

I note that you are feeling rather unwell both on a mental/emotional level as well as physically. The consequences of gambling are making themselves known to you in quite a dramatic way. This could mean you are more likely to be ready to take action to change things. When a gambler is in denial, he can keep on getting deeper into trouble, continuing to chase losses and block out the voice of reason. Your mind and body are telling you things are not right and you have started to recognize the need to change. So take hold of this sense of need to motivate yourself to make the turn around you need in your life – for yourself and your partner.
Yes, people can get out of the ‘big hole’. As you can imagine from that metaphor, help and support are needed! If you are deep in a hole, it is very hard clambering up by yourself.! So make sure you continue to reach out as you have started by writing here. What about telling your doctor more about why you are experiencing problems? Help will be more relevant if you can be more open about what your needs are. Read the stories here, attend the Support Groups here (live time support), maybe see if there are local GA groups to attend etc.
Also, I wonder what your partner knows – you say she doesn’t know the full extent of the losses, but does she know how they came about? It is often helpful if a partner can take over the finances at least for a time, while the problem gambler gets established in recovery – the access to money makes relapse so much easier, the absence of money can help protect you from relapse. Everything you can put in place to protect yourself from opportunity to continue gambling will help you maintain your decision to stay free and build your new life for you and your family.

Keep posting and all good wishes.

Monique

Best wishes,

[monique]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[monique]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[monique]

I’m glad you find some release in writing. Do you keep your own private journal as well? It can be useful as a way of getting what is in your mind ‘out there’ and also something to look back on to see how things do change over time. It is good to share your thoughts and feelings with those others who can understand too, of course – as you are doing here. A little feedback can help you on your way and most of all help you to know you are not alone.
You are right when you say this addiction causes so much havoc and destruction – far-reaching consequences indeed. The addict did not set out to cause this and usually hates what is happening too, but he does have to start the process of recovery as no one else can do that for him. But you do not have to be destroyed, nor does your son. You will have struggles and some battles, but you can come through.
I am so sorry for the other losses and sufferings you are having to deal with too. Do keep posting and maybe you will get to Velvet’s group, too, which will offer you more support.
Best wishes,
Monique

[monique]

Just another few words of welcome. I have read your post and can totally understand that you must be so worn out and deeply affected by all that has happened.
But you have reached out here. I hope you will now begin to feel some compassion from others who have suffered similar things. No two people are the same, no two experiences the same, but there are many things that are shared and will be fully accepted and understood.
The big thing for you now is to start really looking after yourself. It is a recovery path all for you – you are not the addict, but you have been badly affected by the addiction to gambling and all that goes with it. Now, try to begin to let go of trying so hard to keep it all together for everyone else and gradually start re-building yourself. Not so that you can go back to being someone you used to be, but so that you can be a strong, healthy, caring woman, who has been transformed by taking a terrible experience and using it as the basis to start something new and fresh. When you concentrate on making yourself well and strong again, your son will also know inside himself that his Mum is going to be all right and that means he is going to be all right too. He is not ‘predestined’ to gamble in the future; his past is one major thing in his life so far, but his present and future can be built up with different influences and he can live well, as you can.
I hope this does not sound all too far beyond reach of where you are now. It all starts with one small step and bit by bit you will make a new life. It is not easy, but it will be worth it and you will be well supported here on the Forum and in Support Groups (live online), if you can make it to them.
Keep posting and I wish you strength and courage as you step out to a different way of living your own life.

Monique

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