[monique]

You have made a good start. Yes, you are still young and have some good people around you – so take courage and be hopeful for a better future. It may bring some tough times, but you can get to a different place.
Post more about any specific struggles and questions and you will get suggestions and advice from others, who have understanding of you and your situation.
I wish you well.

Monique

[monique]

That’s a good list! I hope you find each of these activities rewarding, useful and enjoyable. It is a great idea to make positive plans and get a sense of achievement when you work through them.

Best wishes,

Monique

[monique]

I’m glad you got something useful from my thoughts as expressed here. I agree with you that indeed the underlying causes are not always very severe issues – boredom is one, as you say. Although, the more we seek to understand, the more we may find that there are ‘superficial causes’ masking deeper issues. But, yes, it is so sad that turning to gambling, for example, which can give some excitement for a time, soon leads to a serious worsening of the situation and life-experience and horrible additional problems. For recovery, it is usually important to slow down and deal with the most urgent difficulties first and gradually move through to other things.
Monique

[monique]

Yes, I think there is a lot to be said for that concept. But I also think that, like most things in life, a ‘both … and’ approach can be more useful than an ‘either … or’ approach.

So there is an underlying problem (the ‘something else’, of which addiction is a ‘symptom’), that needs to be worked on, BUT, once the addiction has set in, it becomes a real problem in and of itself, too. Yes, it’s a symptom, but it has also become a problem that needs to be treated. Sometimes the symptom may need the more urgent action – not so that we forget about the ‘real’ problem(s), but so that we can create enough psychological ‘space’ to be able to work productively on what is behind it all. If we focus only on the ‘true’ underlying problems, whilst still actively engaged in a destructive ‘solution’ to them (eg gambling, drinking), it is hard to see how we would be able to think clearly about causes and creative ways of managing them. On the other hand, being able to express deep, previously hidden pain to an empathic listener, for example, may bring great relief, along with self-awareness and self-acceptance, which will all make it more possible to tackle the symptom practically.

So I think the two things need to be going on – symptom control and ‘deeper work’ – along side each other.

Best wishes,

Monique

[monique]

Indeed, that can be a dangerous time – on your own with spare funds to hand. Just wondering if there is anything else you can do to ‘protect’ yourself in advance from this kind of ‘temptation’ time? I know you are on your own, but is there anyone who could have some management of your finances (at least for a while), so that you don’t get access without accountability to someone else you trust? Or, if there is no one, are you able to make an account that is marked off in your mind as unavailable?
Definitely good to start new activities, as you say, too. Good to get into different ways of being, that will help to ward off loneliness and temptation.

Best wishes,

Monique

[monique]

Dear Courage – I want to send you my sincerest apologies for the technical problems that meant I could not connect properly with you in group. It was most unfortunate at this difficult time.
I wish you well and do keep in touch with all sorts of support.
Monique

[monique]

Sincere apologies about Group. I was there, but technical problems made it impossible to make contact with people. I hope this will soon get sorted out.
Meanwhile, I wish you well.

Monique

[monique]

Salut papa et/ou Sybil (je ne sais pas qui a posté ceci.) Oui, c'est un travail et une écriture très intéressants. L'aspect social (connexion) de la dépendance est extrêmement important. Monique

[monique]

Hei Dadda ja/tai Sybil (en ole varma, kuka tämän lähetti.) Kyllä, tämä on erittäin mielenkiintoinen työ ja kirjoitus. Riippuvuuden sosiaalinen puoli (yhteys) on erittäin tärkeä. Monique

[monique]

Szia Dadda és/vagy Sybil (nem tudom, ki tette közzé ezt.) Igen, ez egy nagyon érdekes munka és írás. A függőség társadalmi vonatkozása (kapcsolata) rendkívül fontos. Monique

[monique]

Hai Dadda dan/atau Sybil (saya tidak yakin siapa yang memposting ini.) Ya, ini adalah karya dan tulisan yang sangat menarik. Aspek sosial (koneksi) dari kecanduan sangat penting. Monik

[monique]

Привет, Дадда и / или Сибил (я не уверен, кто это опубликовал). Да, это очень интересная работа и письмо. Социальный аспект (связь) зависимости чрезвычайно важен. Моник

[monique]

Merhaba Dadda ve/veya Sybil (Bunu kimin yazdığından emin değilim.) Evet, bu çok ilginç bir çalışma ve yazı. Bağımlılığın sosyal yönü (bağlantısı) son derece önemlidir. Monique

[monique]

مرحبًا Dadda و / أو Sybil (لست متأكدًا من الذي نشر هذا.) نعم ، هذا عمل وكتابة ممتع للغاية. الجانب الاجتماعي (الاتصال) للإدمان مهم للغاية. مونيك

[monique]

Olá, papai e / ou Sybil (não tenho certeza de quem postou isso). Sim, é um trabalho e uma redação muito interessante. O aspecto social (conexão) do vício é extremamente importante. Monique

[Author]

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