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You have made a good start. Yes, you are still young and have some good people around you – so take courage and be hopeful for a better future. It may bring some tough times, but you can get to a different place.
Post more about any specific struggles and questions and you will get suggestions and advice from others, who have understanding of you and your situation.
I wish you well.Monique
That’s a good list! I hope you find each of these activities rewarding, useful and enjoyable. It is a great idea to make positive plans and get a sense of achievement when you work through them.
Best wishes,
Monique
I’m glad you got something useful from my thoughts as expressed here. I agree with you that indeed the underlying causes are not always very severe issues – boredom is one, as you say. Although, the more we seek to understand, the more we may find that there are ‘superficial causes’ masking deeper issues. But, yes, it is so sad that turning to gambling, for example, which can give some excitement for a time, soon leads to a serious worsening of the situation and life-experience and horrible additional problems. For recovery, it is usually important to slow down and deal with the most urgent difficulties first and gradually move through to other things.
MoniqueYes, I think there is a lot to be said for that concept. But I also think that, like most things in life, a ‘both … and’ approach can be more useful than an ‘either … or’ approach.
So there is an underlying problem (the ‘something else’, of which addiction is a ‘symptom’), that needs to be worked on, BUT, once the addiction has set in, it becomes a real problem in and of itself, too. Yes, it’s a symptom, but it has also become a problem that needs to be treated. Sometimes the symptom may need the more urgent action – not so that we forget about the ‘real’ problem(s), but so that we can create enough psychological ‘space’ to be able to work productively on what is behind it all. If we focus only on the ‘true’ underlying problems, whilst still actively engaged in a destructive ‘solution’ to them (eg gambling, drinking), it is hard to see how we would be able to think clearly about causes and creative ways of managing them. On the other hand, being able to express deep, previously hidden pain to an empathic listener, for example, may bring great relief, along with self-awareness and self-acceptance, which will all make it more possible to tackle the symptom practically.
So I think the two things need to be going on – symptom control and ‘deeper work’ – along side each other.
Best wishes,
Monique
Indeed, that can be a dangerous time – on your own with spare funds to hand. Just wondering if there is anything else you can do to ‘protect’ yourself in advance from this kind of ‘temptation’ time? I know you are on your own, but is there anyone who could have some management of your finances (at least for a while), so that you don’t get access without accountability to someone else you trust? Or, if there is no one, are you able to make an account that is marked off in your mind as unavailable?
Definitely good to start new activities, as you say, too. Good to get into different ways of being, that will help to ward off loneliness and temptation.Best wishes,
Monique
Dear Courage – I want to send you my sincerest apologies for the technical problems that meant I could not connect properly with you in group. It was most unfortunate at this difficult time.
I wish you well and do keep in touch with all sorts of support.
MoniqueSincere apologies about Group. I was there, but technical problems made it impossible to make contact with people. I hope this will soon get sorted out.
Meanwhile, I wish you well.Monique
Ahoj Dadda a/nebo Sybil (nejsem si jistý, kdo to zveřejnil.) Ano, toto je velmi zajímavá práce a psaní. Sociální aspekt (spojení) závislosti je nesmírně důležitý. Monique
Hei Dadda og/eller Sybil (jeg er ikke sikker på hvem som postet dette.) Ja, dette er et veldig interessant stykke arbeid og skriving. Det sosiale aspektet (forbindelsen) av avhengighet er ekstremt viktig. Monique
Hello Dadda u / jew Sybil (M'inix ċert min poġġa dan.) Iva, din hija biċċa xogħol interessanti ħafna u kitba. L-aspett soċjali (konnessjoni) tal-vizzju huwa estremament importanti. Monique
Γεια Dadda και/ή Sybil (δεν είμαι σίγουρος ποιος το δημοσίευσε αυτό.) Ναι, αυτό είναι ένα πολύ ενδιαφέρον έργο και γραφή. Η κοινωνική πτυχή (σύνδεση) του εθισμού είναι εξαιρετικά σημαντική. Μονίκη
Hallo Dadda und/oder Sybil (ich bin mir nicht sicher, wer das gepostet hat.) Ja, das ist ein sehr interessantes Werk und Schreiben. Der soziale Aspekt (Verbindung) der Sucht ist extrem wichtig. Monique
안녕 Dadda 및/또는 Sybil (누가 이것을 게시했는지 확실하지 않습니다.) 예, 이것은 매우 흥미로운 작업과 글입니다. 중독의 사회적 측면(연결)은 매우 중요합니다. 모니크
Tere Dadda ja/või Sybil (ma pole kindel, kes selle postitas.) Jah, see on väga huvitav töö ja kirjutis. Sõltuvuse sotsiaalne aspekt (seos) on äärmiselt oluline. Monique
Sveiki, Dadda un/vai Sibila (es neesmu pārliecināts, kas to ievietojis.) Jā, šis ir ļoti interesants darbs un raksts. Atkarības sociālais aspekts (savienojums) ir ārkārtīgi svarīgs. Monika