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Good to hear from you again, P. I think you are doing well in the face of such strong ‘attacks’ – not sure if that is the right word, but it sounds like you are being ‘bombarded’ by stuff you do not want and it is a tough battle. Do you find some release/relief after you write things out in some detail? If you do, maybe write more?? You said before you did not like to post negative things, but, if it helps, everyone will be pleased to read and share with you. The negative has to be dealt with and no one wants it to take over your life.
You have got a range of support and that is good – use everything within reach that can help you. As you say, it has to be moment by moment, day by day, but I am sure that the more you practise letting go and resisting gambling, the more you will reap rewards. Maybe it is not feeling like that yet, but I believe you will see better times.
I hope you have a useful conversation with your doctor, too.
All good wishes,
MoniqueI am sorry that things are so difficult for you just now – tho’ it is good to know you are still alive and breathing. Perhaps you think it’s not right to write negative things at this time, which is ‘supposed’ to be so ‘happy’? Or you wish you had something positive to write, but cannot think of anything positive? I think it often helps to write out those negative thoughts and feelings rather than letting them go around and around in your head. Sometimes getting it all on paper brings a bit of clarity here and a bit of insight there and then maybe your words will spark someone else off in a way that will move things on a little in a good way. So, if you think it would be good to have your struggle heard and thought about by others who care, do post it all on here and see what can come out of it. I know there are no easy answers, no magic wands, but don’t bottle it all up on your own.
Wishing you well,Monique
Hi Trinity, how are you today? I am sorry you felt so low and hope you can find the courage to get through. It is good to express those sad and hopeless feelings and to know that people hear and are thinking of you – I hope that helps a bit. As icandothis has just said above, relationships are complicated, so it is not always easy for others to know what to do or say. But you are important in yourself, whatever happens in that relationship. Your sense of loss may feel overwhelming right now and there is such pain in your uncertainty about the future, but what can you do or think just today, just this moment that will help you through?
Keep in touch – even when you feel you have nothing to say, you do have something to express and that will be heard and cared about.
With my good wishes,Monique
Hi Sam – I hope you are continuing well. You have been having some good conversations with others on this forum and I hope this gives you the courage and hope to move in the right direction day by day.
MoniqueI am sad to hear about the callousness with which your partner has treated you. I cannot tell what is driving him at the moment, but I think I can see that you are beginning to do some emotional separating from all that. It is very hard to come to terms with how someone close can be so cruel, but this is about him and not about you. Ultimately, as you are grasping, you are a precious, worthwhile and good human being – whether or not this person is thinking well of you. Hold on to those thoughts more and more. Treat yourself well, even when he does not treat you well. When you can, enjoy relating to others in your life, who are caring and respectful towards you. Also, when you can, reach out lovingly to others in need and receive appreciation. It is sometimes surprising to find how much you still have within you, even when you think you are totally washed out.
I know you are feeling right down and you give such a lot in your working life and family life, so I am not suggesting rushing out to save the world, but just using little opportunities that present themselves to you.
Try not to worry about your partner’s recovery – that has to be his choice and his work. I know you have probably heard that so often, but sometimes we have to keep reminding ourselves of the most vital things on a daily basis. I think this is because we are changing old patterns of thinking and this is a major process.
I’m sorry you have had problems getting into groups etc and hope you continue to find nurture from others and also from the well within in you.
Best wishes,Monique
I want to add my welcome to you. It is good you have found this place of refuge, support and information and I’m glad to see you have already had wonderful replies from some great people, who have wisdom and understanding of what you are going through. No two situations are the same and we are all very aware of that, but we know that there are many common ‘themes’ in our stories and similar lessons to learn. Just writing out your thoughts and feelings can help, especially when you know they will be read with care and concern. I wish you well as you work through your particular situation with the support you need.
MoniqueYou continue well with the kind of attitude that remains wise and protects you, no matter what is going on. As you say, you can take the horse to water …… I have that experience too. I hope you find some fun, peace and joy for yourself in the days and in the year to come. Best wishes, Monique
Hi Neecy.
Thinking of you as you move through this day. I wish for you that you will know peace and contentment moment by moment, in spite of all the contradictory feelings that are swirling around for you and within you.
You will remain in my thoughts and in the thoughts of others here who care for your well-being, even though we only ‘meet’ in the cyber world.
MoniqueThinking of you and your family today, San. Joy and Peace.
Monique
No one can predict how things will work out and life can seem very bleak at a time like you are experiencing. I can only say hold on to what is good for you right now, keep in touch with those who can support you and try not to think too far ahead. I really hope you can have a peaceful time this Christmas.
MoniqueThank you for that message – good to hear from a ‘wonderful woman’. I wish you all the blessings you need at this time right in the midst of its struggles and sadness. Joy that comes through will be real and deep, not just ‘frothy’ and temporary.
Monique
Hi Sam – have you started a thread of your own? It would be good to get to know more of your story, if you want to share it, so that more people can respond and support you.
With my very best wishes,
Monique
San – I can see things are not easy for you right now, but it’s great that you are able to use such restraint and wisdom. Do continue to look after yourself and I hope your son will make wiser choices in the days to come. My good wishes are with you as always. I like your posts – they are so ‘real’ and so honest.
Sam – good to hear from you, too, and I hope you will find the support and help you need.
Monique
I am so glad you have written your own post. I have been following your brilliant replies to other members in recent days. You have such experience and wisdom to share. Thank you for your inspiration and all good wishes now and always.
Monique
Your posts show a real strength and determination. You are rebuilding yourself – it’s great to read about it. Of course you still struggle, but you are finding out so much and moving in the right direction.
I’m glad you have heard from Jenny – she is writing some fantastic posts and has such experience and wisdom to share.Thinking of you.
Monique