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I have been reading your posts and am impressed at your determination to maintain a gambling free life. You also explain the temptations and difficulties very clearly and how you deal with them. I am sure this will help many others understand their struggles better and deal with them successfully. Writing helps you, I think, and in turn supports others.
Best wishes,
MoniqueI want to add my welcome to you. You have chosen a lovely name and I hope you can live gamble free and in peace. You have had lots of interesting replies already, which will give you support and a sense of friendship, I am sure. Joining groups sessions is also helpful.
So a warm welcome from me and every good wish for your journey.Monique (Gambling Therapy Team)
I hope we can talk another time about those feelings.
Meanwhile, all good wishes,
Monique
I think it is often useful to try to understand our past, but it is also important to accept that we did what we did back then usually with good intentions deep down. Often we made decisions when we were naive and maybe vulnerable. We need to be forgiving and kind towards the person we were during all our yesterdays.
The past is now one of those things we cannot change (as in the Serenity Prayer). Today and the future are what we can influence with the wisdom we have now gained.
Today you have your children in all their variety and with all their complications and difficulties. They need to live, as you do, in this day and all their future days. Try not to spend your precious energy on the ‘wrong’ choices of the past. I know that is not an easy task, when you are questioning your life and feeling in some way ‘to blame’ for its problems. As you know and understand yourself more, let this lead to loving and accepting yourself more fully , too.
Just some thoughts from reading your post – I hope they make sense.
Monique
Just another note to welcome you here. Perhaps you will write more of your story so people can get to know you a little better and offer you support with your struggles and questions – and you can encourage others too. Maybe you have been able to join in some of the group times – I hope you will find them helpful, too.
Wishing you well on your journey.Monique (Gambling Therapy Team)
Sounds wise to have a check-up with doctor.
I hope your spirits will soon rise again and you will have more energy and enthusiasm.
Sometimes, though, we do need moments of ‘retreat’ and quiet. Although I think you are not feeling you are just being quiet, but there is also some unwelcome lethargy and desire to hide away – that is what I am hearing, if I have got it right.
I am sure you are reflecting on what may be going on and maybe you can think about other times you felt like this and what helped then?
Is it a time to accept the need for quiet or a time to seek help to get you feeling better again? Talking with your doctor may help you working out what is best.
As you say, it is good that barriers to gambling are firmly in place.
I wish you well.
Monique
It is good to know that we are not alone on our journey.
Monique
Dear San
It is good to read your update. You have learned so much about managing difficulties and uncertainties in life. Always an inspiration.
Every good wish,Monique
Hi Sam
Just saw that and I think those are very useful ideas for us all to consider.
MoniqueHi P. It sounds like you are doing what is right for you for now. ‘Doormat to strength’ – yes, that is really good.
Monique
Hi Sam. Fighting emotional battles is a tiring business. I am not surprised you feel tired. Look after yourself in whatever ways you know will lift your spirits and restore your energy now.
MoniqueI love this post. It is such a clear, step by step description of a process that so many others must also experience – urges, ‘temptation’, danger signals, but, best of all, the ability to think about what is happening and managing to stay away from the gambling. I think this is so useful to have on here. Thank you and all good wishes, as ever.
Monique
I just wanted to say I don’t think you are being ‘weird’. In fact, you have interpreted what may be going on in your last post. Also, many people need time alone – I think most of us human beings need separateness and togetherness with others in some sort of balance, but it is definitely not the same balance for each! Try not to think of yourself as strange – just see what you can learn from what is going on and how you can use it in your recovery. Getting to know the ‘real you’ might be part of that.
Best wishes,Monique
I hope you are getting on ok now you are back from holiday. I think that just being very conscious (as you are) of potential ‘trigger’ moments is a good start – you think about the situation, rather than find yourself ‘drifting’ and doing something you did not want to do. So I hope you have been able – and will continue to be able – to focus on staying gamble-free. Also, maybe make some definite plans to do something that you enjoy rather than just thinking that all is boring and mundane ahead. It doesn’t have to be something expensive or major, but a change of mind about what being back can mean. What are the good things about being back? Even about work? What is it that you appreciate and are glad to have?
Whatever you do, I wish you well.
Monique
Hi Coyotegal
It is good to see your post, even though you write about a negative moment. You were doing well and you still show determination not to let this set you back too much. It is not the end of your journey; you do not have to gamble again, just because of this experience. Maybe it is good not to try to answer all the ‘why’ questions, but just now to concentrate on making sure you get back on the right path for today, tomorrow and the future. It is, of course, good to get an understanding of why things happen (why we let things happen) and sometimes, we get insight which is really helpful for protecting ourselves in the future. But in the immediate aftermath, it is good to put the gambling right behind you and make your slate clean again.
I wish you well,Monique