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Well done, Kathryn. Hope it all goes really well for you, now.
Monique
Will be thinking of you during your vacation week and hope to hear how you get on.
All good wishes,
Monique
It looks like you have a lot on your plate right now, so it is you who perhaps needs that support.
You are so right – you just have to focus on one thing at a time and try to live in the peace of that serenity prayer. Writing about this, as well as reminding yourself by saying the prayer and mentally putting aside worries about things over which you have no control, all help. I hope it helps also to know that people here will be thinking of you and wishing you well.
I hope you have a great time when the family visits with you and I wish good health to you and your husband.Best wishes,
Monique
Just a word of welcome from me, too. Like Charles, I seem to recognize your name. You have perhaps looked for help before and now you have returned? I’m sorry you have not found people to talk to, but Charles has explained some of the ways to make sure you are heard and can receive advice, support etc.
Reading some of the stories of those who are managing to live without gambling may give you hope and courage, too. Please don’t imagine the ‘success’ stories are only those of ‘other people’ – you, too, can achieve what you really want.All good wishes,
Monique
Hello again – some great news there. You’ve had a busy time. Here’s hoping all works out well.
Monique
Well done! A lovely message. Monique
Thanks for another great post. Looking forward to hearing more about your experiences – one person’s story is always a help to someone else, even if their circumstances are different.
MoniqueThank you for sharing more of your family story. I totally agree that negative words and actions have a huge impact on children and how they will develop. It must be so painful to see all that suffering within your family circle.
But you have also a great spirit for making something good – the way you fight on, you share openly with us here on the forum and you work hard for yourself and your children, in spite of the heartache you have experienced.
Maybe the negative was ‘modified’ by that wonderful grandmother, who demonstrated something different. Losing her must have been so sad for you, even though I’m sure you were thankful she had a long life. And I think another important message is that we CAN change things with the right support and inner determination. For some people that struggle is harder because there was so much damage when they were young, but ultimately there is hope for us all, when we find help and use it to the best of our ability.
I write here now as a member of the GT Team and I am a counsellor by profession, but I also had an unhappy and sometimes abusive first marriage and a son who developed a gambling addiction.
It is good to ‘talk’ with you.All good wishes,
Monique
The people who matter most to us – the ones with whom we would just so love to have a great relationship – are also the ones who can hurt us most. I obviously do not know your mother, but I can see from your posts that things are often difficult between you. I think it is often one of the hardest lessons for us to learn that our parents may not be able (for whatever reasons) to give us the kind of love, nurture, acceptance etc that we so need.
I’m sure you have heard much of this before, so apologies, but it is such a hard thing in so many lives. Ideally a parent nurtures their little one at the BEGINNING of life and then that little one grows up with good self-esteem and wonderful mental health! BUT that parent was also once a little, vulnerable baby/child and had imperfect parents and maybe tough circumstances in life and so on and so on … Each generation passes on some of the neediness and hurt and is not quite able to give what the next one wants.
I think each of us has to try as best we can to come to terms with that hurting bit of our life and recognize that we may never get what we need from parents, but have to care for ourselves and receive love and acceptance from friends/partners/others who have the capacity to give it. I guess we then have less expectation from the parent and maybe can gradually feel less ‘raw’, when they say/do something that hurts. It’s an area where we probably recognize the ‘triggers’ and have to take special care.
You find that you need to walk away. Is there anything that helps you then just become more calm and accepting? – any words you can say over to yourself, ideas you can recall, activities that help?
You are doing so much in several areas of life. You write about your experiences and allow others to know you and learn from you. We appreciate that.
All good wishes in everything,
Monique
Hi Jen. Just saying Hello and that I’m glad you are posting and sharing your struggles and failures. It will help you perhaps to be ‘accountable’ and also encourage others to pick themselves up and take a different course of action after a ‘fall’, in order to protect themselves, their finances and their relationships.
Keep posting and hold on to your determination to get back to being gamble free and staying that way.Best wishes,
Monique
Hi Sam. It is good to hear from you. As others have said, we are glad you are here and keeping in touch. We hope it helps and you are able to get to a better place soon.
Monique
Hi. Thanks for your encouraging posts. I am sorry to hear about your husband’s cancer – yes, you both have a lot to cope with. But you KNOW that gambling only creates more problems and are wise enough not to go there. As Lizbeth says, it is important to look after yourself, too. Keep in touch.
Best wishes,
Monique
A couple of really vital thoughts, there – not taking things for granted and living ‘in the present’. It is always valuable to stop and really think about something good that we have in the here and now – a simple cup of tea, the purple flowers, whatever it is that is ‘right there’ and can be appreciated. Living in the present always helps us to avoid worry about the past or future.
Thank you for that – I have got purple flowers in my mind now!Monique
It doesn’t sound like a post that is ‘all over the shop’ – it’s really good to read. Thank you again. Just keep going and keep sharing.
Monique
Hi Sam. I am glad you are reaching out even though you feel you are in a terrible place. In the past, you made some good progress and I remember your positive posts and your wise thoughts in group. It is hard to get back when you ‘fall’ again, but it is definitely possible! Do keep living in hope and also taking the right steps moment by moment to get you back to a healthy place.
I have groups tonight at 20.00 hrs and 21.00 hrs UK time (drop in for everyone and then cg group).
Thinking of you,
Monique