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I am amazed as I read your posts – there is such vivid description of a busy life, with so many things happening and you show how you cope from day to day.
House buying and moving are very stressful events in life, even when other aspects of life are relatively simple, so I’m so glad you have been able to maintain a healthy regime for yourself and resist any urge to gamble.
It is so sad about your daughter. As a mother, I can feel for you – for me, it is a son who is cg. We can keep the love alive in our hearts but we cannot make them change. That is painful.
Now, I hope all goes smoothly for you and look forward to the next news!Monique
I just want to add a welcome, Mclewlow. I hope you will find the support here to do what you know is necessary to make your life gambling-free. You say you have got so much debt at the age of only 22 – but your relative youth also means you have many years of healthy life to look forward to, if you now stick to your intention to turn your life around. It is not easy, but keep in touch here, get into the ‘live’ groups, when you can ( check the times under the heading ‘support groups’ at the top of the page), use the helpline etc. There are many ways of getting help on your journey towards freedom from gambling. The determination in your heart and mind is the biggest and most important thing.
I wish you well.
Monique
Thank you for such an encouraging post with your experiences, thoughts and advice. I love the story of the cat! A sort of modern ‘parable’.
Hope you are having a good holiday.
Monique
I hope all will be well for your grandson, also with the home loan.
I’m glad you are standing strong against the gambling urges and know that is not a good path to go down! Of course you will have been under stress about the loan and all the other things associated with buying property. It is a well-documented fact that buying a house/moving home etc are amongst life’s most stressful events – but knowledge is the beginning of taking control of these things. Looking after yourself is important.
You are probably right to say that your mother may not know how to behave differently – or at least it is not on her agenda to try to do so. And, as you say, you are the one who will have to find your own best ways of coping and managing.Best wishes,
Monique
It will be difficult to talk about all this with your wife. And it will also be hard for her to hear. So I will be thinking of you both. If you are really serious about maintaining a gamble-free life, there is hope for a better future and these painful moments will become part of a past from which you can move on. Perhaps aim to be calm and to tell your wife you can appreciate her feelings too. I’m wondering if you are going to ask her to take over the finances again?
With the motivation to stay in recovery and support from here etc, I think you can do well.
Stay in touch and let us know how things progress.Best wishes,
Monique
Dear mrmackey
You have made a good decision to come to this site. I do hope you will find the help and support you need to move on into a good recovery, so you can live a happier and healthier life.
Do look up all the group times and see if you can attend some ‘live’ sessions and also keep us posted as to how you are getting on.
Best wishes,
Monique
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Thanks for the update. I guess you will find the right sort of church group for you, if that is what you want. I’m glad you found it peaceful.
Glad that you are not letting the struggles bring defeat.Monique
Some great updates, Sam. Thank you for sharing your experiences, which I hope helps you and will surely help others too. I continue to wish you well.
Monique
I’m sorry you have had such a distressing time again with your mother. But I am glad that you are able to fight the urges to gamble and that you really KNOW that gambling is not worth it. I hope church was good for you and you found yourself supported by a kind and supportive environment.
It’s good you can continue to support others, even as you struggle with your own painful times.
Monique
I want to add another welcome, Donna. You have had some wise words from two people who understand a lot about your situation and experiences and I hope you will be able to use this site to the full to guide, help and support you.
Gambling addiction in a loved one can cause huge pain and suffering, but sharing with people who care and are knowledgeable can make it a little easier to cope and help YOU make the most of your life, even in the context you find yourself in – not one of your choosing. I am a volunteer on this site now, but came here first of all as the mother of a gambler.
All good wishes,
Monique
I hope you find peace in your waking and your sleeping times. You have endured so much. I wish you the strength to pick up and keep going and also a better future.
MoniqueIt is a hard place to be in, but you have built your strength and determination. Your son probably feels desperate, but maybe not yet desperate enough to turn the right way round in his life. We cannot do it for them, nor must we damage ourselves trying to do the impossible.
I wish you well and will keep hope alive for the recovery of your son. In the meantime, look after yourself and make the most of all you have.
MoniqueWelcome to this site. I hope you will find a lot of useful information and, especially, the support of other people who understand a bit about your struggle and can encourage you to live without gambling. Icandothis, above, has pointed out that important truth – gambling is always going to lead to loss; recovery is the ‘winning’ way! Perhaps you can get into some live groups, too?
Monique
It is always tough when people we have cared for seem to reject and misunderstand us. I hope you are doing ok now. You have thought things through thoroughly and know you would stand by your friends.
Monique
