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Hi Kirty.
Just want to say I so enjoyed reading your post. It is very encouraging. Thank you.Monique
How good to hear from you and what a lovely message. So full of hope and peace. You have worked so hard within your family and helped make all this possible.
All good wishes,
Monique
I am glad you decided to talk this evening. I hope it helped a bit. I like this lovely post from Sad – she makes so many important points here in such a relevant way. I do hope it touches you, too.
Monique
Thank you for this post, Kathryn. It says so many of the really important things. People can experience feelings of loneliness and isolation at any time, but when we ‘believe’ that ‘everyone else is having such an enjoyable and sociable time’, these feelings are heightened. It is a time to reach out for whatever support is available and use it well.
I’m glad this will be a better year for you, Kathryn.
Monique
Hello Kirty. Just to say I love your story about the horses and the sockets. A nice example of how you can resist the urge and do something really positive and, as Vera notes, avoid going down that awful path again! Thanks.
Monique
Hi wanttostopgambling.
That is a good name for a start. If you focus on that goal, you can do well. It will not be easy, but now you can get support here and from your meetings. Use all the support you can get from people who really understand the problems of gambling addiction.
Your wife may not understand it all right now; she may be feeling angry, hurt etc. So I suggest you continue to focus on doing all you can to start your recovery. If your wife can see positive steps and action on your part, it may help her to have confidence that you really do have a goal of being gambling free. If you can resist trying to expect enthusiasm from her just now, she can make her own mind up, when she has had time to see what’s happening.
It is hard to have bills to pay, when you have no money left, but do talk this over here – maybe on the helpline, in groups or in your meeting and see if you can find practical measures to cope with this. Don’t despair; when you have really made up your mind, there will be a way through.Keep in contact with this site, read and write here. I wish you well.
Monique
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Welcome to this site and I hope it will be at least part of what you are looking for. Just a quick thought, also, about the GA meetings. You are finding them a bit repetitive and that the other members are not really exploring things in depth – the problems, struggles etc perhaps. I just wonder if you have explained what you are looking for? Some of the others may have got into a bit of a ‘rut’ and are (hopefully) coping well now, but I imagine there will be some really strong stories behind the current ‘successes’ – could you try somehow to encourage more sharing of past experiences and struggles? Ask what they have been through? What helped them? What kind of thoughts and feelings did they have to overcome? etc. If you say it is because you want to get to a ‘good place’ yourself and would value knowing more of how they got there, it might draw them out. Who knows, maybe some of them are also hiding a bit and long for more ‘reality’!
On the other hand, maybe this will not work – you will read on here that some people love the meetings and others do not get so much from them. In that case, you turn to where you can get the right help for you. Have you attended the group sessions here? Click on Support Groups at the top of the page and find out when the groups take place and just log in when you can. And, of course, keep writing and reading on the forum – and maybe also other reading that will help, as Mickey suggests.
Your gambling goes way back to a time when you were vulnerable and needed some kind of ‘escape’. There is a whole road of recovery to follow now, one step at a time. It can take a while to really feel you are launched on this new journey, but, when you really search for the best ways forward, you will find them, I think.
All good wishes,
Monique
It’s late here, but I wanted to respond to your last post. You echo my own thoughts and those of many parents when you say ‘she is an adult but she is my baby’. Thinking that your grown-up child might be on the streets or in any dangerous situation is always going to really tug at the heart-strings, especially when we have a comfortable home ourselves. But I have confidence that you will not let this take you down – you will stay on the path that is right for you. Your healthy, gambling-free life is the best thing to create for your daughter as well as for you – she may not see that today, but maybe one day she will want to make her own recovery and will know that you have given her an example. Stay well and strong.
Monique
Hello James. That is a wonderful post. I am so glad you have been able to come to a decision and that you are doing well in your new life. No doubt, you will have your struggles along the way, as we all do, but you have found the resources within you to live in a peaceful way with a generous spirit towards others. That is worth so much and is a good foundation for a meaningful life with your little girl.
Thank you for sharing this.Monique
I have thought of you at times and wondered how things worked out. I am so pleased that you have written here and for the news you have given us.
I can see the truth of all you say. I’m sure Velvet would say ‘don’t do regret’ – even about the things you think you did ‘wrongly’ or ‘too late’ etc. Today, you are in a new place and that is so wonderful. It will still be tough at times, but things will make more sense and you will be less troubled. You will have peace of mind, in spite of the ordinary struggles of life.I always admired the adventurous things you did in life and now you are on a whole new adventure. Women in their fifties are great!! (I am soon to leave my fifties behind!!)
Thank you so much for this post. I send you lots of lots of good wishes for now and all the future, for you and your family.
Monique
Hi Mclewlow. How has your week been? How are you now? Hope you are feeling hopeful about making progress.
Best wishes,
Monique
How are you now? I’m glad you decided to come here and that you have decided to stop gambling and face your addiction and its consequences.
This is the most important decision. But I’m sure you don’t need anyone to tell you that the next steps are not easy. Most people make most progress if they have plenty of support. I hope you will explore this site and find what is useful for you. Also, the more you share about your experiences, the better people here will know you and how to respond in a helpful way. As P says, too, you may find it good to have a support group such as GA too.
Keep in touch and I wish you well.
Monique
<
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Just another little welcome. That is a very graphic description of how gambling is for you – the underlying issues, the pressure, the triggers, the ‘illusion of control’ etc. I am not a gambler, so these sorts of descriptions help me understand the addiction more. I am the mother of a gambler, a counsellor and a volunteer on the team here.
I wish you well. I hope you will find a lot of help and support here.
Monique
