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Just wondered if you are keen on any sport or think you could take up running, climbing mountains (I don’t know where you live) or something else active that really gives a buzz too?
I may be completely on the wrong track for you, but just an idea.
MoniqueWelcome. You have done well to make it a gambling-free week. There are challenges and temptations around you, but you have found the determination within yourself and encouragement from others to keep you away from gambling. You can be proud of yourself.
Yes, do find alternative activities; enjoy the movies, walking with your dog and whatever makes you happy and keeps you away from gambling. Read other experiences here to get other ideas about protecting yourself financially etc, too. Attend the groups (click on Support Groups to see when they are on) and keep writing and sharing.
I wish you well.Monique
It’s good to read your posts here. I think it is great that you write about being really determined this time to change your life. That determination in your own mind and heart is vital and is what can get you going on this new journey.
Try to stay ‘active’ in your own mind – I mean, keep that determination active and alive all the time. When it is being challenged by the addiction, which will call you back and say it’s ok to gamble this time, resist with all your strength -being part of this community online is one of the resources that will reinforce your resolve and give you practical suggestions and ideas, when you are struggling. Maybe write about the struggles as they arrive, so that people can reply very specifically and practically.
Best wishes,Monique
I have been catching up with your thread, Fritz and am so impressed by the way you can describe your experiences. You help yourself and help others, too.
Best wishes,
MoniqueHi B
I saw the beginning of this post and thought no one had answered, but now I see you have written more on another thread. That’s good to see that you have had replies and are entering into the discussions, etc. Sorry for the mix-up. Best to just have one thread!
MoniqueI have just been reading through your story and want to encourage you to stay strong as you move forward and get into rehab. You write with great clarity about the struggles you face and are able to receive and use good suggestions from others. (I thought you got some great ideas from Velvet, as well as Butchugly.)
Keep using the support and you can look forward to better experiences in your future. I would just reiterate that gambling with any money you have will NOT solve anything. Keep resisting that old way of thinking and let your mind open more and more to different ways of meeting life’s challenges.
All the best,Monique
Well done on the month. As you say, counting days etc is not the most important thing, but good if it gives you a sense of achievement.
Go easy on yourself, too, about what you take on. It is good to develop healthy interests, activities and relationships, but probably not good to rush into too much. You know yourself and what kind of pace suits you. Maybe think of one thing that might help you to begin to emerge (gradually) from those shadows of prison experience, etc – something relatively simple and accessible that might help give you a positive interest and some joy – then concentrate on making that possible. It is One Day At A Time re not gambling, but this can be a good mind-set for taking up other things, too – slow but sure.
Best wishes,Monique
I have just posted you the formal welcome message. I hope now you will also get replies from other members who will offer advice, along with emotional support and encourage you to move to a gambling-free life.
You say you have tried to stop on your own for 3 years without success. I think it is very difficult to get free on your own, so I hope you will now make good use of this site – the groups, the helpline and this forum – to gain the support to make your new life possible.
Of course, the biggest part of this is your own determination to stop gambling. Once you are in that frame of mind and have support, you have much to look forward to.
Cast your mind to other things in life, too, that give you some satisfaction and start to build a way of life that has enjoyment in it that has nothing to do with gambling.I trust you will soon hear from others, too, and I wish you well on your journey.
Monique
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
It is a horrible feeling that you have lost those lovely years. But please remember that they are not just happy, carefree years for everyone. Lots of young folk struggle with different things as they adapt to adult life. Don’t torture yourself thinking the rest of the world has had a great time and only you have made poor decisions etc.
Now, take stock and look to what you can achieve if you begin the journey of recovery – and I don’t necessarily mean material success, etc – but things like living honestly and with some contentment etc.
I wish you well.Monique
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
I’m glad you are writing and keeping in touch with people here. I want to reinforce the message you received from Fritz – he has written some wise words, especially ‘leave gambling behind’. Now, I know that is easier to say than to do, but it is the core message to stay with from now on.
Getting into recovery is not going to be about sorting out different ways to ‘make money by gambling’ in any form. When gambling becomes problematic for someone, it is the ‘leaving it behind’ that becomes the important task. I would strongly urge you to make that your priority and use your reasoning, planning and intelligence to find the support you need to help you in this new venture. You are young and have not gone too far into debt nor activities that harm you and those you love, so you can have a good and positive future without gambling. In gambling you will always lose in the end. In recovery, you can make a life you can be proud of and save yourself and others from pain and trauma.
So try to focus on finding the best ways to help yourself ‘leave gambling behind’.
I have groups at 20.00 and 21.00 hrs (UK time) today.
Very best wishes,
Monique
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reminding us all of how hope can sustain us and things really can change.
All good wishes,
Monique
Hi San. Continuing to think of you fondly.
Monique
Hi Lauwtjee. It is good to see your name on here, too. It was good to meet you in the group. Now I know some more about your story. I think you will also get replies here from other members who will share ideas with you. Gradually you will find a way forward – it is good that you are taking positive steps to recognize the problems and to seek ways to recovery.
I’m sure you would agree that gambling to make money does not work. Perhaps that is a good place to start – try to get that message firmly in your thinking. Ask for help to do that – by writing about the urges when they come etc and hearing what others have to say to encourage you to resist those urges.
I notice you said that you did not think about gambling while you had no money, but when your money came in, you did. So it could be useful to have someone you trust to manage your money for a while. It looks like your mother would not be able to do this – is there someone else?
I wonder if you would benefit from speaking to someone on the Live Helpline too, when it is open. You will see it noted on the web page.
Anyway, I think you are doing well in seeking help and you will find you can make great progress.Very best wishes,
Monique
