[Monica1]

A great description of gambling and recovery. I think only CGs know the excruciating pain you speak of P. I was in that level of pain gambling and in recovery. Wanting my situation to change and it doesn’t, just gets worse. And you are right, Life and time is passing gby and I sit in my room and cant do anything about it, just wait for a turn of the tide. Stuck on a desert island. Well done p for that description, it was humbling and poignant to read. The groups are not opening this evening. There is a glitch in the works somewhere.

[Monica1]

Only pinged save once. Sometimes the posts seem to duplicate themselves on here. Not deleted it as it deletes all and wouldn’t want to repost.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Thanks idi, you have been very helpful to me today. And sometimes like in our earlier conversations I think you are indeed heaven sent cos your ideas are always good. And we discussed the. Ore desperate ideas in group last night. I like your mad ideas, you are a creative thinker. That is such a good trait. It is not a character defect (outdated concept). Not so mad cos I never fulfilled what I wanted to do in this life. But not sure whether the subjects I would want to study are eligible for a loan. These are naturopathic medicine or Ayurvedic Medicine. Would someone give me a student loan at my age?
When I finished reading your email my daughter rang. I told her what a bad place I have been in. She had some good news. After years at home with the kids, she has got a job as a support worker In a halfway house for people with addiction and mental health issues. I said I was delighted for her and that she should get some practice In before she started with her mother. I also rang the business debt line. Although there is a half hour hold time, their advice is very good. They said without doubt with the council it is complaint copied to mp and local councillor, he said they should not be treating me this way. Thanks again idi.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Thanks idi, you have been very helpful to me today. And sometimes like in our earlier conversations I think you are indeed heaven sent cos your ideas are always good. And we discussed the. Ore desperate ideas in group last night. I like your mad ideas, you are a creative thinker. That is such a good trait. It is not a character defect (outdated concept). Not so mad cos I never fulfilled what I wanted to do in this life. But not sure whether the subjects I would want to study are eligible for a loan. These are naturopathic medicine or Ayurvedic Medicine. Would someone give me a student loan at my age?
When I finished reading your email my daughter rang. I told her what a bad place I have been in. She had some good news. After years at home with the kids, she has got a job as a support worker In a halfway house for people with addiction and mental health issues. I said I was delighted for her and that she should get some practice In before she started with her mother. I also rang the business debt line. Although there is a half hour hold time, their advice is very good. They said without doubt with the council it is complaint copied to mp and local councillor, he said they should not be treating me this way. Thanks again idi.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Thanks idi, you have been very helpful to me today. And sometimes like in our earlier conversations I think you are indeed heaven sent cos your ideas are always good. And we discussed the. Ore desperate ideas in group last night. I like your mad ideas, you are a creative thinker. That is such a good trait. It is not a character defect (outdated concept). Not so mad cos I never fulfilled what I wanted to do in this life. But not sure whether the subjects I would want to study are eligible for a loan. These are naturopathic medicine or Ayurvedic Medicine. Would someone give me a student loan at my age?
When I finished reading your email my daughter rang. I told her what a bad place I have been in. She had some good news. After years at home with the kids, she has got a job as a support worker In a halfway house for people with addiction and mental health issues. I said I was delighted for her and that she should get some practice In before she started with her mother. I also rang the business debt line. Although there is a half hour hold time, their advice is very good. They said without doubt with the council it is complaint copied to mp and local councillor, he said they should not be treating me this way. Thanks again idi.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Thanks idi, you have been very helpful to me today. And sometimes like in our earlier conversations I think you are indeed heaven sent cos your ideas are always good. And we discussed the. Ore desperate ideas in group last night. I like your mad ideas, you are a creative thinker. That is such a good trait. It is not a character defect (outdated concept). Not so mad cos I never fulfilled what I wanted to do in this life. But not sure whether the subjects I would want to study are eligible for a loan. These are naturopathic medicine or Ayurvedic Medicine. Would someone give me a student loan at my age?
When I finished reading your email my daughter rang. I told her what a bad place I have been in. She had some good news. After years at home with the kids, she has got a job as a support worker In a halfway house for people with addiction and mental health issues. I said I was delighted for her and that she should get some practice In before she started with her mother. I also rang the business debt line. Although there is a half hour hold time, their advice is very good. They said without doubt with the council it is complaint copied to mp and local councillor, he said they should not be treating me this way. Thanks again idi.

[Monica1]

Hmm, you pose an interesting question. I would probably react in the same way you would from earlier posts. Firstly I would be sorry that this has happened to you as it is the last thing you need at this point. I would imagine you must be feeling completely defeated and find it difficult to have faith in anything. I like the statement you use above to describe it and how things have been. The biggest issue is what you can offer them, when you have nothing, food, fuel or pay towards the council tax. I,would advise getting back in touch with the housing woman, I did email but can now email the medical letter which actually says a lot. I don’t expect much from her. It’s like I need to know the minimum poverty levels you are allowed to hit. I have seen people sanctioned who have been left with nothing so I expect this Government don’t care about that. I would get the support of people you trust ie like my Gp. There is very little else, my sponsor is too young to really get it. I wanted to ring the business debt line today but couldn’t. I might try now.

[Monica1]

Hi idi and Vera
I looked them up. Could not see anything related to gambling or counselling. They specifically state they take 2 to 3 weeks to do anything and can only provide things like food parcels. Not my thing really and won’t do it. Agree they do good work though, but definitely not for me. My birthday on Monday seems like aeons ago. Can’t report on the recovery plan this week because in truth I have been knocked for six by the prison proceedings. A debtors prison or the workhouse no doubt under this repulsive government.

[Monica1]

Thanks for that. Means a lot. Today I am not good. Feeling very tired and stayed in bed. I decided to ring my sponsor just to tell him where I am. Had meant to go to GA tonight but in all truth iam too tired. I feel beaten. This isn’t recovery for me. My sponsor thinks I should get some professional al help. Not like I haven’t been trying. He clearly didnt know what to say. And at the end of the day it is just meaningless words. That is how I feel. I guess there are not that many people that understand or have the ability to reach us when we feel so bad about things. You do though so I appreciate that.
Can’t do anything today.i read your post and support your stance on it all.

[Monica1]

Could you remind me what they are called?
Thanks

[Monica1]

Thank you very much for your posts. Idi I hope you start another thread. Vera, I am sorry to hear of the relative of your husbands passing. I was wondering where you were. No, pete did not find his wallet.

As for things not being as bad as I thought they would be. I am afraid they are.

Today on the coldest day of the year, I had an electric prepayment meter fitted. I also had committal to prison proceedings served against me for non payment of council tax over a long period of time. I am remarkably calm about this. My benefit won’t even now go as far as food. Certainly no cigarettes. I am kind of tired with all of this. Things are shutting down and there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot pay for anything. And yes, Vera, there are things worse in life than death. Feeling that God has abandoned you is one and living in this heartless society is another.

[Monica1]

Enjoyed 10 and midnight chats tonight. Thanks all.

[Monica1]

Enjoyed 10 and midnight chats tonight. Thanks all.

[Monica1]

Hi JP
Good to hear from you. Glad you are posting. You will feel numb and there will be times when you won’t want to deal with it at all. That’s fine, don’t deal with it. Have compassion for yourself. As I said it can all wait. I did not open my letters for three months. Whilst I would nt recommend waiting that long, there will also be days where you do feel able to deal with a few things when you come out. Get help from family to do it if you need to. Just tell your story to your creditors, as much or as little you want to. Believe me when the alternative is bankruptcy your creditors will give you time and as I said, with the banks it is usually six months. So rest a while, chill out, watch tv, read if you are able to. I couldn’t focus on very much for quite a while. Find you. You are what is important right now, not the debts. They are really unimportant in the great scheme of things.

[Monica1]

Thanks both. You are right laura. It has to be one day at a time and today is shite…. I am not under a mental health provider monkey, no treatment for my depression. Just a six month wait for counselling which they can stuff. It does feel like I am sitting in a self created purgatory and I have really had enough. If I had one inkling that this wasn’t going to last for a long time that would help. But there is no such sign and to be frank I cannot bear it.

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