[Monica1]

それは私がその間に禁欲の長い発作で賭けた時間です。私は1か月に45ポンドのお金を持っているので、もちろん今のところギャンブルは決して選択できません。私はあなたが飢えなかったに違いない、食べ物がないことでたくさんの体重が減り、家を出る余裕さえなかった。私の60年の人生でおそらく2度目のクリスマスのためにあなたは何も持っていなかったに違いありません。ですから、ギャンブルで悪化していないと言うと、私の状況に対する理解が完全に欠如していることを示しており、すべてに対するささいなパットの反応として出くわします。たぶんいつの日か、あなたは個人として人々と関わり、すべての人に同じ反応をするのをやめることができるでしょう。うそつき。はい、私は自分の状況とGAが吐き出す嘘に腹を立てています。

[Monica1]

Ennyi ideig szerencsejátékokat követtem el hosszú tartózkodásokkal. 45 fontom van, hogy egy hónapig éljek, így természetesen a szerencsejáték soha nem lenne választás. Fogadok, hogy nem éheztél, nem fogytál sokat, ha nem ettél semmit, és nem is engedheted meg magadnak, hogy elhagyd a házat. Lefogadom, hogy 60 éves életemben valószínűleg másodszor nem volt semmi karácsonyod. Tehát amikor azt mondod, hogy a szerencsejáték miatt nem rontottad a helyzeten, az megbecsülés hiányát fejezi ki a helyzetem iránt, és elcsépelt válaszként jelenik meg mindenre. Lehet, hogy egy napon az emberekhez, mint egyénekhez tud viszonyulni, és nem fog mindenkire ugyanazt a választ adni. Rant vége. Igen, dühös vagyok a helyzetemre és a hazugságokra, amelyeket a GA kijelent.

[Monica1]

Niin kauan minä pelasin ja pidätin pidättäytymisen välillä. Minulla on 45 puntaa elää kuukaudessa, joten uhkapelit eivät tietenkään olisi koskaan valinta. Lyön vetoa, ettet nälkää, menetit paljon painoa ilman ruokaa ja sinulla ei ole edes varaa lähteä kotoa. Lyön vetoa, että sinulla ei ollut mitään joulua varten luultavasti toista kertaa elämässäni 60 vuoden aikana. Joten kun sanot, ettet ole pahentanut sitä uhkapelillä, se osoittaa täydellistä arvostamattomuuttani tilanteestani ja tulee kevyiksi pat vastauksiksi kaikkeen. Ehkä jonain päivänä voit liittyä ihmisiin yksilöinä ja lakata antamasta kaikille samoja vastauksia kaikesta. Lopeta. Kyllä, olen vihainen tilanteestani ja GA: n valheista.

[Monica1]

Arada uzun perhizler yaparak bu kadar uzun süre kumar oynadım. Bir ayda yaşamak için 45 sterlinim var, bu yüzden kumar elbette şu anda asla bir seçim olmayacaktı. Bahse girerim açlıktan ölmedin, yemek yemeden çok kilo vermedin ve hatta evden çıkmayı bile göze alamadın. Bahse girerim 60 yıllık hayatımda ikinci kez Noel için hiçbir şey almamışsındır. Bu yüzden, kumar oynayarak durumumu daha da kötüleştirmediğini söylediğinde, durumum için tam bir takdir eksikliği gösteriyor ve her şey için basmakalıp tepkiler olarak karşımıza çıkıyor. Belki bir gün insanlarla birey olarak ilişki kurabilir ve her şey için herkese aynı tepkileri vermeyi bırakabilirsiniz. Rant bitti. Evet, durumuma ve GA'nın söylediği yalanlara kızgınım.

[Monica1]

To je, jak dlouho jsem hazardoval s dlouhými záchvaty abstinence mezi nimi. Mám 45 liber, které bych žil měsíc, takže hazardní hry by samozřejmě teď nebyly volbou. Vsadím se, že jste neumřeli hlady, neztratili jste spoustu váhy bez jídla a dokonce jste si nemohli dovolit opustit dům. Vsadím se, že jste na Vánoce pravděpodobně neměli nic podruhé v mém 60letém životě. Takže když říkáte, že jste to hazardem nezhoršili, ukazuje to naprostý nedostatek ocenění mé situace a přijde mi to jako banální reakce na všechno. Možná se jednoho dne budete moci chovat k lidem jako jednotlivci a přestat na všechny dávat stejné odpovědi všem. Přemítat. Ano, jsem naštvaný na svou situaci a lži, které GA chrlí.

[Monica1]

Толкова време залагах с дълги пристъпи на въздържание между тях. Имам 45 лири, за да живея с месец, така че хазартът, разбира се, никога не би бил избор в момента. Обзалагам се, че не сте гладували, отслабнали сте без храна и дори не сте в състояние да си позволите да напуснете къщата. Обзалагам се, че не сте имали нищо за Коледа за втори път в живота ми от 60 години. Така че, когато казвате, че не сте влошили ситуацията с хазарта, той показва пълна липса на признателност за моята ситуация и се вижда като банални отговори за всичко. Може би един ден можете да се отнесете към хората като личности и да спрете да давате едни и същи отговори на всички за всичко. Рант над. Да, ядосан съм на моето положение и лъжите, които ГА изрича.

[Monica1]

So lange habe ich gezockt, mit langen Abstinenzphasen dazwischen. Ich habe 45 Pfund, um von einem Monat zu leben, also wäre Glücksspiel jetzt natürlich nie eine Wahl. Ich wette, Sie haben nicht verhungert, viel Gewicht verloren, indem Sie nichts gegessen haben und sich nicht einmal leisten können, das Haus zu verlassen. Ich wette, du hattest zum wahrscheinlich zweiten Mal in meinem 60-jährigen Leben nichts zu Weihnachten. Wenn Sie also sagen, dass Sie es durch Glücksspiel nicht schlimmer gemacht haben, zeigt dies einen völligen Mangel an Wertschätzung für meine Situation und wirkt auf alles als abgedroschene Antwort. Vielleicht kannst du eines Tages auf Menschen als Individuen eingehen und aufhören, jedem für alles die gleichen Antworten zu geben. Aufregen über. Ja, ich bin wütend auf meine Situation und die Lügen, die GA verbreitet.

[Monica1]

Itulah berapa lama saya bertaruh dengan serangan pantangan yang lama di antaranya. Saya memiliki 45 pound untuk hidup dalam sebulan jadi perjudian tentu saja tidak akan pernah menjadi pilihan saat ini. Saya yakin Anda tidak kelaparan, kehilangan banyak berat badan tanpa makanan dan bahkan tidak mampu meninggalkan rumah. Saya yakin Anda tidak punya apa-apa untuk Natal mungkin untuk kedua kalinya dalam hidup saya selama 60 tahun. Jadi, ketika Anda mengatakan Anda tidak membuatnya lebih buruk dengan berjudi, itu menunjukkan kurangnya penghargaan untuk situasi saya dan tampil sebagai tanggapan tepuk basi untuk semuanya. Mungkin suatu hari Anda dapat berhubungan dengan orang-orang sebagai individu dan berhenti memberikan tanggapan yang sama kepada semua orang untuk semuanya. Mengomel. Ya, saya marah dengan situasi saya dan kebohongan yang disemburkan GA.

[Monica1]

Tieši tik ilgi es spēlēju azartspēles ar gariem atturēšanās gadījumiem. Man ir 45 dolāri, lai nodzīvotu mēnesi, tāpēc azartspēles, protams, nekad nebūtu izvēle. Varu derēt, ka jūs nebadojāties, zaudējāt daudz svara bez ēdiena un pat nevarējāt atļauties pamest māju. Varu derēt, ka, iespējams, otro reizi manā 60 gadu laikā Ziemassvētkos nebija nekā. Tātad, ja jūs sakāt, ka neesat to pasliktinājis ar azartspēlēm, tas parāda pilnīgu nenovērtējumu par manu situāciju, un tas nāk kā niecīga pat atbilde uz visu. Varbūt kādu dienu jūs varat attiekties uz cilvēkiem kā indivīdiem un pārstāt visiem sniegt vienādas atbildes par visu. Rant pāri. Jā, es esmu dusmīgs uz savu situāciju un meliem, ko izsaka GA.

[Monica1]

Pete comes back at 7. He has put up some small decorations in the front room with some white lights which look nice.

Life often gives us signs and symbols and when I walked into town I saw an empty hearse. These sorts of things are nearly always omens from the universe. I knew instantly that it wasn’t for me or mine. There was an Afro Caribbean family next to me and it was related to that. Don’t ask me why but I just knew.
Pete has been distant for the past couple of days and out till the small hours and grumpy hence just the one pizza slice yesterday He seems to regret this when he comes in. My jeans are falling down on my hips but I had the weight to lose anyway. He gives me some cigs and fills the electric meter. We have been rationing the heat for a few days but it hasn’t been too cold thankfully and Being at the top of a big house, we benefit from the flats below central heating a bit.
I think because my intuition is quite good at seeing signs and portents part of my frustration is because I do not see a change coming yet for me. Still not having anything at Xmas is one of the worst things that life can do to me. I do not forgive it for its harshness.
Pete tells me his uncle on his dads side passed which is why I haven’t seen much of him. And Pete is afrocaribbean so the universe and it’s messages don’t lie.
He gives me some walnut whips, a stalwArt favorite. He pours me a glass of wine and then retires to the front room, which is Mine yet I am not allowed in. I do not drink very often but I accept it.
I am glad idi has set up a new thread and completely agree with the repeated advice type of support which feels to me like a stuck record and robotic, not human, no understanding of who we are inside. I also don’t want this type of support. It doesn’t help us.

[Monica1]

Idi I think you are right that I am lacking in nourishment. There is also a degree of nicotine withdrawal yesterday which comes on very quickly and I become a tearful emotional wreck. I feel incredibly tired. I could not face group last night. I seem to keep switching from a huge anger towards God and tears to being able to cope a bit. It keeps swinging daily from one to the other as it has for some time. My sponsor texted me to ask how I was. When I said that I was in despair he did not text back. So many people can’t handle it when we re very low, they just don’t know what to do.
I forced myself to go out today for a walk. I am so tired but still managed to appreciate a pink and blue sky at sunset. In my colour therapy These are the colours of a wish so I made a wish for happiness for me and my family. I feel acutely the fake ness of Xmas, the annual spendfest that is man made, whereas real meaning has been lost to materiality. My daughter texted me to say that she is also feeling the darkness. That is how it feels, bereft of light and joy, emptiness, the absence of God, nothingness, hopelessness. Dreaming of good stuff isn’t going to hack it Laura. My reality is bleak, that is how it is. I wish with all my heart it wasn’t so, it it is so.

[Monica1]

Nadam se da će vaša gripa početi prolaziti i da vam ozdravljenje mora biti prioritet. Sad me pileća juha do sada održavala pa vam predlažem da popijete malo. Puno sretnih povrataka, jeste li kolega sagitarist ili ste na vrhu Jarca? Ima samo nekoliko tjedana između nas u dobi Liz. Shvaćam što govorite ako imate imovine. Nemam apsolutno ništa za uzeti. To je za cijeli život mukotrpnog rada. Ne posjedujem baš ništa. Dakle, učinili ste daleko bolje od mene! Nadam se da ćeš se osjećati, uskoro bolje Liz.

[Monica1]

Hope your flu is starting to go and getting well has to be your priority. Now chicken soup has sustained me thus far so I suggest you get some down you. Many happy returns, are you a fellow sagitarian or are you on the cusp of Capricorn? There is just a few weeks between us in age Liz.
I get what you are saying if you have assets. I have absolutely,nothing,to take. That is for a lifetime of hard,work. I own nothing at all. So,you have done far better than me! I hope you feel,better soon Liz.

[Monica1]

Very low today. Nothing to eat until a pizza slice at 10pm. Sleeping for long periods. I am beyond unhappy.

[Monica1]

Welcome to the forum and for the chat. If you put all the measures in place we all spoke about you will have a strong chance of success. Take it one day at a time. As you know and we talked about this addiction is insidious. We can’t let our guard down. Keep posting and let us know how you get on.

[Author]

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