Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
And thanks for posting on my thread. Having lost my health somewhat on stopping gambling, with all the financial problems, Vera is so right, Health is wealth. Hope it all goes ok and that the lump is benign.
Are u ok, is this censorship?
Your 1406 post has only just come up some weird reason. It’s a softness that other people can view as weakness. I once worked in a job with an excellent counsellor in the late 90s. She was exceptionally bright and very assertive in her work. Really good with people. She also made bad choices in men i cidentally dating a rogue. But my point is that she could be viewed as soft but she actually wasn’t. She just had a great ability to empathise and work on the feeling side of things. Some people thought she was a soft touch but she really wasn’t. She could see the good in people, as do I. She was well known in her field and a little like me, not so good on the personal life front. Seeing the good in people can lend itself to making some bad choices such as I have made, but I would sooner have that quality than its counterpart. Incidentally, your abstract thinking is a very good quality. I think ihave mentioned this before. It is the thinking of an entrepreneur. Not all of theideas will be good ones but there will be strokes of genius in there. If you ever get the chance at work to do psychometrics about personality types ala Myers Briggs and roles within a team I think you will find that you have some pretty unique qualities. When I did position within a team I usually get the leader, but also a trusted counsellor who can work on the feeling side of things, an empath. This creates its own problems cos sometimes I don’t know if it is my feelings or someone else’s. But I still prefer to be this way even if it can cause problems and I need a lot of time alone to avoid overwhelm.
So who you are is fine, we just have to be careful who we trust and the choices we make in friends and partners.All of the sentiments you have expressed about how u r with people is how I am too. I came a cropper with this when I was much younger. This is how daft I was when I was around 27 and living in a squat. I came across a homeless man. In those days I was full of gods love, just how I was. I took him home and gave him a bed for a night. He then thieved off everyone. I should have been more aware, much more and seen the person, but I was t. But I still choose to be the same way, a lot wiser now of course. I have a basic trust in people until they show me different and I often give them 3 or 4 chances. I do, however, avoid manipulative people. I can spot them a mile off. A lot of air time is given to how gambling addicts re manipulative. I cam quite honestly say that in my gambling I was never manipulative with others. I never sought to hide it and I never borrowed from family or friends to gamble. We are all different people who have this addiction.
And there is nothing wrong with you. To trust people is a positive good thing, until they show you different. And on the f a f front, there is a lot of protection given on this site to f and f, more so than the gambling addicts. I have read a lot of f and f threads recently and some of what they go through is truly humbling pointing out how dreadful this addiction can be to spouses and kids. Luckily all mine had fled the nest before it all started.
I don’t think you are on the spectrum or that you lack anything. You are you and who you are is pretty ok in my book.Answered on your old thread just now. Assertiveness is interesting. In my work i was very assertive, without being aggressive, much less so in my personal life. I kind of drifted with the tide. I guess it is a fine balance between listening, and how to express who we are and how we feel whilst not being selfish and aggressive. I have seen people who claim to be assertive but actually are very selfish and full of me me me. You are not in this category incidentally. Actually I may do charles group on it! It is an interesting topic. I understand exactly what you mean on how important it is for you to be assertive both in work and at home. I recognise a similar trait in You as I have had but conquered it, certainly in the work arena.
Just said a prayer for you. I always think when an urge comes up, that I am going for life not destruction because that literally is the choice we are making. Think of me stuck in my own personal hell for 5 months now and make good choices. Gambling to self destruction is what got me to this point. Now have you got your barriers in place? I know there probably isn’t anyone that can manage your money for now but surely you have blocked on line gambling sites?
Thinking of you and hope you have a good time at your grandsons party.Well done raix for telling your mum and putting things in place to pay her back. Plus, you are now able to eat and survive which is good. I am sure it will not take long to get back on track one day at a time. Keep it up.
Good to meet you in group and well done for making the decision to quit this destructive addiction. Believe it or not your debts do sound very manageable and I have no doubt that over time you can replenish your mothers account. Keep posting and hope to meet you in group again.