[Monica1]

Nice to meet you.idi, laura and I are great mates so I thought I would come along and say hi.
Your situation sounds difficult. Life is difficult…, Chemo is so tough on the body. Is it Possible you could seek out alternative natural treatments? These treatments are so toxic on the body. I do hope your husband is able to find a job to take the financial pressure off you a bit. Hope to see you in group.

[Monica1]

I think Louise hay would probably relate gnawing pain in the stomach to built up resentment but mine was definitely related to stored anger turned inwards. GMA are only paying my fare because I have no funds. Everything goes on priority debt to avoid prison and court actions. And that only covers some of the priority debts.
I ate a whole Angel cake today and my tummy certainly feels like it has.
I agree that life dealt me some bad cards, particularly at the start. I think how we were brought up is so important and I really get the importance of solid foundations in life. I never had that and neither have my kids either but allhave done ok despite all that. What I find hard is that many people in life don’t stand a chance. I struggle with this about what we are born into, and find it all so incredibly unfair. I get that the soul has its own agenda but still have always found it difficult to reconcile this with suffering on this planet.
And when things were really prosperous for just two years after struggling for decades I getcancer and in the final year of my masters which took me 24 years to get. I started it in 1988 and finished in 2012. I even asked if it was a record. I could t use my arms and was using voice recognition software to finish it working day and night to finish my thesis. I passed with Merit and am still very proud of that. But boy did it cost me. An old boss described me as incredibly driven at the time. What happened to her, where did she go? Can she come back? Or has that person gone forever?

[Monica1]

Yes the post was about strengthening resolve. If it helps to strengthen your resolve then it helps to strengthen mine too. My longest period of abstinence was 9 months and when I let it back in again, I went past the point of no return financially. It was dreadful in the same vein as a good friend of ours. So I have to be very mindful of the sleeping monster.

On the job front the agency helpfully keep me informed. Decision about who to interview Monday and it will be a phone interview if selected most likely when I am away where there is no access to phones. But will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Today I went to the post office to pick up my train tickets from the post office and drop my medical cert into the dole. I am very grateful to gma for supporting my travel. Thanks Amy. There is no help for us really in that my Gp was unable to find any suitable support without a long waiting list. So I will make a pledge here that if i ever get back on my feet I will support the charity. Where else is there to go for us but here? Still don’t want to go to GA.
The stomach problems are largely resolved although the bug is still there. Gp reluctant to give treatment as I reacted so badly to the last lot. The test for the colon will have to wait until I get back. The acute daily cramps have eased and have now not had them for around three days. I think because I expressed all the rage I felt at life and the universe, in those posts to Vera and alone in my bedroom at home all that helped clear the stomach pain. Pains in stomach related to deep suppressed anger. Mostly at having the carpet pulled from me a lot during this sojourn on the planet. I have put on all the weight I lost before Xmas. My jeans are a bit snug again and the boys money has helped on that front although three weeks later it has gone now.
Aside from that I am looking forward to rural Hereford although 8 have to get up at 4.30am on Monday.

[Monica1]

Starting gamblingor relapsing is not an option for me. It took me too far down and there are plenty of people on the site who hit rock bottom. When I was working i would take so many risks with gambling. I had regular money coming in so I would just think money would be coming in the next week so it didn’t matter. Ignoring bills and detaching from life. Circumstances change . What I am trying to say is that I relapsed 100 times in five years but I have hit the point of no return. It is never again for me as it is so destructive when we let it in. Other folks stories on the site remind me of that all the time and I am grateful for that. There is no such thing as controlled gambling. I read a lady’s post on another site saying that she was a risk taker and I think there is an element of that in it for us. I guess most on this site have stopped and started umpteen times. So there is no shame in that. As long as we are very clear about our direction of travel now, today.
You aren’t gambling so there is no need to be deflated. Not everyone wins this battle and one thing I have learned that there are no guarantees in life. We put one footin front of the other and walk the path of freedom from this beast.

[Monica1]

Really pleased for you Liz. This is great news.

[Monica1]

One of those tired days. Not enough sleep and just lounged around most of day posting on others threads. It feels really cold outand I get very sleepy when the temperature drops. Hope u ok.

[Monica1]

Comece um tópico em meu diário e a comunidade poderá responder a você. É menos provável que sua postagem aqui seja vista. Onde você está no mundo? Há uma saída. Todos nós temos uma dívida enorme ou já vivemos com esse vício. Quando você jogou pela última vez?

[Monica1]

Günlüğümde bir konu başlatın ve topluluk size yanıt verebilir. Gönderinizin burada görülme olasılığı daha düşük. Dünyanın neresindesin? Bir çıkış yolu var. Hepimiz büyük borç içindeyiz ya da bu bağımlılıkla birlikte olduk. En son ne zaman kumar oynadın?

[Monica1]

Bắt đầu một chủ đề trong nhật ký của tôi và cộng đồng có thể phản hồi lại bạn. Bài viết của bạn ở đây ít có khả năng được nhìn thấy. Bạn đang ở đâu trên thế giới? Có một lối thoát. Tất cả chúng ta đều đang mắc một khoản nợ khổng lồ hoặc đã từng mắc chứng nghiện này. Lần cuối bạn đánh bạc là khi nào?

[Monica1]

Alustage teemaga minu päevikus ja kogukond saab teile vastata. Teie postitust siin nähakse vähem tõenäoliselt. Kus te maailmas olete? On väljapääs. Me kõik oleme suurtes võlgades või selle sõltuvusega. Millal sa viimati mängisid?

[Monica1]

Start a thread in my journal and the community can respond back to you. Your post here less likely to be seen.
Where abouts are you in the world? There is a way out.
We are all in huge debt or have been with this addiction. When did you last gamble?

[Monica1]

Начните обсуждение в моем журнале, и сообщество ответит вам. Ваш пост здесь вряд ли увидят. Где ты сейчас в мире? Выход есть. Мы все в огромных долгах или были с этой зависимостью. Когда вы в последний раз играли в азартные игры?

[Monica1]

Everything Ok?

[Monica1]

Let us know how you are getting on. If creditors refuse to accept your offer, say it is tough and pay them what you can afford anyway. Don’t give in to their threats. Creditors can wait and wait, mine have been waiting a very long time. If the alternative is bankruptcy they soon change their. I do. Keep saying no and pay them the 50 euros or so you can afford.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Maybe your late nights are catching up with you? I also dont know how you do it, late groups and then work. If it’s any consolation, I went to sleep at 6am as couldn’t sleep anD up at 10am. Also feeling pooped today. We get days like these. Like me, you are probably a Night bird, hope you day goes well and talk later.

[Author]

Posts