[Monica1]

Navy is my choice for workwear too and blue my favourite colour. Did you get anything. Girls makeover, not started mine yet but keen to hear how yours is going.

[Monica1]

Hi idi, this has disappeared from the programme. I have asked for it to be reinstated in feedback. Could you do so too as it is just me at mo! Thanks.

[Monica1]

Cmon guys, of all the groups this one should not go, please reinstate.

[Monica1]

Qual é, pessoal, de todos os grupos este não deveria ir, por favor, reintegrem-se.

[Monica1]

Qual é, pessoal, de todos os grupos este não deveria ir, por favor, reintegrem-se.

[Monica1]

Jamen gutter! Af alle grupperne bør denne ikke gå, geninstaller.

[Monica1]

Not a lot today except an old friend rung and I answered this time. Whilst suicidal and depressed I avoided human contact. She has cancer which was diagnosed three and a half years ago. Like me, she wouldn’t do chemo or radiotherapy as we have both seen too many people for whom the treatment killed them, not the cancer. Well, she used all natural immune therapies and diet and it was held at bay till now. She is in her forties and it is back. We had a long chat. She is facing some big decisions as the surgery option is quite radical.
We are facing a cold week in the U.K. which I am hoping is the last flurries of winter. I feel sleepy in the winter time. I have become very lazy. Confined to my bedroom for six months in this destitute state and I need a total rehab programme. My mood is ok though and my friend noticed that it had improved considerably. I dont want to get to the third hundred days and still stuck in limbo.

[Monica1]

All my support comes from this site too and it has been a little quiet of late. Vegetable gardening and growing things is pretty amazing. I know that feeling well of just sliding into a deep depression. I wasn’t like this before gambling so that is the cause of it. And the past few months for me have all been duvet days cos I can’t afford to go out the door! The depression lifts somewhat when we stay gambling free. It isn’t as bad as it was before. It still is t good because of my situation but the wanting to die has gone. Gambling is our enemy Liz and we need to treat it as such. It is a false friend. And it is the biggest drainer of all in every way. I hope your day is going better, they fly past so quickly.

[Monica1]

Just came up. But the 10pm groups are missing.

[Monica1]

Kom lige op. Men 22:00 -grupperne mangler.

[Monica1]

Apenas surgiu. Mas faltam os grupos das 22h.

[Monica1]

Apenas surgiu. Mas faltam os grupos das 22h.

[Monica1]

I was thinking the other day about how amazing some of the folks are on this site. That included you. We have all been through so much loss and pain which seems to be part of the human condition. It’s crummy and Lord knows why some suffer far more than others. Some of it is our choices and I acknowledge that but some is just stuff that happens. I think we look at our lives when we get to 60, a time of deep reflection. We no longer believe the rubbish we are sold on tv and the news. And We lose our belief in many things we find to be fake. Like you, I chose gambling as an addiction, because I had lost too much in life and chose gambling as my escape. I too have been very unhappy from just before I started gambling six years ago now. Deeply unhappy, possib.y the deepest because there was a large spiritual component to it. But we have to go on, despite it all. I know that feeling well of not wanting to wake up and I have felt mostly like that In Recovery but also when losing heavily in action. I want to go on because of those who I love in this world, my children and grandkids. They do not need me leaving the planet right now. And neither do I or you. We have to recover. And as for finding our passion in life, this changes over time. Things I was interested in years ago no longer interest me. It will always change. What things interest you?

[Monica1]

My son also asked today whether there is any sign of pete moving out, and there isn’t. I have prayed for help that I can recover my health and finances plus get this pete situation resolved for the highest good of everyone.

[Monica1]

Hi Liz,
Do you have barriers? How did you get access to gamble? I think everyone has said the right things and it is just a slip. It looks like worry for you particularly about the family that is a trigger. I was triggered today too with an email saying my six month timeout was over.
Anxieties are so difficult to deal with on our own, we need to share them. R u still seeing your counsellor?

[Author]

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