[Monica1]

Still not registered with gamstop! …. got the photos done though of me holding my passport.

[Monica1]

Good to hear from you.
I had about one hours sleep last night, Mind whirring in a ideas driven positive buzzy way, The herbs make me very buzzy and alert sometimes plus a little bit excitable. i also ate a load of sweets after being sugar free for about 10 days. Had a good day and managed to stay a wake although I still feel a little speedy and buzzy, gotta be the herbs. I just feel happy and full of gratitude to have a job I like with good people. The journey is also very pleasant, lots of greenery.
I felt a few urges this evening but I think it is because I am tired, not surprisingly.
Pete is still not well and went to see the doc, tummy bug they say. I am Ok with him still being here. Might not make group tonight as I think I am going to fall asleep soon.

[Monica1]

Been busy but not too busy to say hi! Hope to catch you soon for a good chat.

[Monica1]

Been too busy to post but I am Ok. Best news is my daughters choroidal naevus is benign but is classified as large and will need six monthly follow up for life. She rang me straight away.
I am relieved but there is nothing they can do to shrink it.
Pete is still here, he has been unwell strangely enough with belly cramps. I wonder if there is something here about releasing and letting go. Great news about the betting shop fixed odds betting shop terminals. Who cares if they go broke. I don’t for one. Do I feel sorry for them. Not one bit. Now they will know how we feel after being robbed blind. Hopefully the betting shop explosion will shake out and many will close. The retail sector is doing abysmally and many many jobs are going. When they say that employment is the highest it has ever been, I really don’t believe it.

[Monica1]

Been too busy to post but I am Ok. Best news is my daughters choroidal naevus is benign but is classified as large and will need six monthly follow up for life. She rang me straight away.
I am relieved but there is nothing they can do to shrink it.
Pete is still here, he has been unwell strangely enough with belly cramps. I wonder if there is something here about releasing and letting go. Great news about the betting shop fixed odds betting shop terminals. Who cares if they go broke. I don’t for one. Do I feel sorry for them. Not one bit. Now they will know how we feel after being robbed blind. Hopefully the betting shop explosion will shake out and many will close. The retail sector is doing abysmally and many many jobs are going. When they say that employment is the highest it has ever been, I really don’t believe it.

[Monica1]

Hi everyone.
Haven’t posted as been too busy. Now when recently could I say that? Posted on idis thread twice over the weekend and first time my Ipad switched off and second time the site was down for maintenance when I tried to post it for the second time.
Went to the Chinese doc on Saturday. He said my gut is still toxic, he’s right, but my pulses are stronger and he says my immune system is fighting back. I don’t like acupuncture or the process, looking at 20 needles sticking out my tum. Saturday afternoon Prem Rawat had a speaking event in Brighton. Only one in Europe this year. I went along after faffing about with 2 local stations that were closed, and enjoyed the event.
Sunday rested and did some paperwork. Day was over before I knew it. My sister had to,take the cats to a rehoming centre over the weekend and found it quite traumatic with the cats crying all the way there.
Yes, idi gamstop is incredibly,frustrating. I have to,find a photo booth to take pics now….
Pete has moved half his stuff and the rest this week. Be visiting as soon as he is gone to look at the spec and make a decision.

[Monica1]

Everything that is important is right there before us, but we completely lost sight of ourselves and everything else when gambling. It is like we see it deeply,for the first time, or maybe again but deeper, and really appreciate it which is like being reborn in recovery. Would,I want to put a stop to that? Absolutely not.
So I echo your sentiments entirely.

[Monica1]

Wi fi went again and then I couldn’t get back in to group as the join had disappeared. Good to talk to,you, hope to,talk again soon!

[Monica1]

Good to hear from you. It has been a good week, challenging but still feeling good about it. Feeling a bit tired mentally as I have absorbed so much info in 4 days. But ok, keeping to a very light diet and no sugar. Pete put some chocolate bars in the fridge and bought me some cheese. Like when u r trying to give up cigs and everywhere u go cigarettes are thrown at you,
My daughter asked if I could help with some presents for my grandson for his birthday as they are trying to consolidate debt and were a bit short. I was delighted to do so.
Struggling with gamstop and made a formal complaint tonight, my battery went in the middle of talking. doh! I have been on their chat support umpteen times. Not receiving emails and now I have to get a photo holding my passport.
Girlfriends on another support site that I tune in to now and again have both relapsed one after a hundred days and another blew it to self destrct, 50 quid spins and cleaned out of 8000 to nothing. That is so awful but a constant reminder of how crap this addiction is. I suggested she do gma as it reminded me of the final days of my addiction when it was total self destruct. Awful and I never want to go back there again. ever!
Petes bags crowding out the front room. He has just come in and bought me an alarm clock as a present lol. He is booking a van to take it all.
I have a list of things to do which is very long. Like laura I am a list writer, great when you can tick them all off!

[Monica1]

Thank you for sharing your story. It is ultimately very uplifting. I think we all relate well to,the pan and abject misery this addiction causes us, I am so pleased that life turned round for you. Thank you for posting.

[Monica1]

I really like Charles definition of recovery and I shall tell myself daily that gamble bought me pain and suffering, recovery brings me joy and happiness.

[Monica1]

Very inspiring. Well done Johnny, so pleased you had a great time.

[Monica1]

Busy day, taking in what I have to deliver, it is complex and challengingbut I feel motivated.
Ate a very light bland diet.
Got home and I have got my tax refund. I can now officially declare my period of nine months destitution is over. Ever since I worked just the two weeks I have been managing Ok whilst not paying any debts, just being able to afford the basics plus the little extras like vitamins that minimum benefits wouldn’t afford. Because I only worked three months last year it is not an insignificant amount and I thank God and the universe for providing me with it. Will sort out my sister and son over the weekend and put some away with my eldest son. I still have the 75k worth of debt to sort out. I may not go bankrupt but I still have to decide. It will take 4 to 5 years technically until I retire to pay all this off. I don’t want to gamble it at all. yea, they’re not getting any of this long awaited influx of cash.

[Monica1]

Thanks for the post on my thread. Appreciated.
Where did you get the outfits from? I could use some cost effective style advice! I am cutting out sweets and chocolate too but realise that I have sugar cravings frequently, well daily. Well done on losing the weight! takes ages for me to lose weight, how long have you been doing the healthy diet?

[Monica1]

ThaNks for your supportive posts. It was ok ty, differentt ype of job, with a lot of autonomy as long as I deliver which is more up my street. Did lots of reading today.
I was fairly anxious as my gut kicked off on bank holiday Monday and is still twinging. It as bad as previously but same pattern. I looked at what I ate and many of the foods were fermented, plus quite a lot of chocolate and sour dough bread. I looked these up and they all contain tyramine. I did notice that aged cheese and blue cheeses are a a no no, making things a lot,worse, i gave up eating these in January/February when the guts were very bad, and these all contain large amounts of tyramine. Not sure what the significance of this is.
Pete is gradually moving his bags out this week. We both admitted to each other this evening we feel a little peculiar about all this but know it needs to be done. I am glad he will do it gradually this week. I need to get used to the idea. Well it has been 18 years..,.

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