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Well done on the good score for your cleaning, so cool. Forgive your mum for the slip, ask idi and me, we both could do with a rich man. I seem to have found the poverty stricken ones in my life. But hey I’m not complaining. Such a different wealth dynamic in your close family.
I remember wanting to commit suicide over a long period of time, it was during heavy losses gambling and in the destitute recovery phase. Not worth it. There is a life to be had and even get some enjoyment out of. And I know that you would never do that to your family. But the lows of a gambling funk are truly dreadful. You do have income coming in Liz so this time will pass. We of the cg club just cannot gamble. It’s the one thing we really cannot do, like an allergy to peanuts, we can’t do it!Stop the self blame! The compulsive addiction stops us from cashing out. We have all been there a million times. The obsession. The depression caused by the gambling. As soon as we stop one session we think about the next. Just know that we can stop. It is possible but we need to get support to,do so What is lost is lost and we need to accept that and stop and move on, I remember the scheming, if I do this or that it will be different. But it won’t, it never will be. Once we cross the line into compulsive addiction it is progressive in nature and just gets worse aNd worse until we r bankrupt, homeless, insane or commit crime. You can stop, you can do it.
How wonderful. Tell us all about it when you are back. Have a fab time.
Ie not drinking and drugs but gambling was my great escape. When you say not validated do you mean not being able to express your feelings and who you are? My great gripe was about not having mentors or parental support or anything and having to go through life or sometimes stumbling through on my own. In recovery I gave it all to God, all of it, He can be my support, he can be someone who I can express my feelings to when there has been nothing else. He can be my Heavenly Father. It wasn’t instant Liz and there r still lots of challenges as you know, I still have a nicotine addiction, but things have slowly changed in me, transformation from within. And it’s a journey. You are not weak Liz and in Him comes our strength.
Was really sad and sorry to hear about your lapse. I read it last night but didn’t comment. That must have been most of your wages. No, you don’t need to file for bankruptcy, you just need to stop gambling. You are earning now. I punished myself over and over again in the same way and I had to really look at why I was doing it and work through it. And there were issues to work through. This is where the higher power really comes into its own. I do t want to gamble, it is destructive, end of. Why do we want to destroy ourselves, the big question….
I am off to bed now too so wont be in group either. Well done on clearing the clutter! Hope we catch up soon but life hectic at moment I think for all of us.
How r u today?
Welcome to the forum. I would recommend Charles facilitated groups for new members where u will get a lot of advice and support. I did the Gordon Moody women’s programme and occasionally go to GA. GA isn’t for everyone. I did it twice a week for three months but found it to be not as helpful as gma.
Well done for making the decision to stop. Gambling online gives us a big hit of dopamine when we enter the trance like zone of compulsive gambling. We have to decide that we are powerless over gambling and that our lives have become unmanageable, and then get as much support as we can. We cannot stop without support, that is one thing all of us who are in recovery say. I get most of my support from friends on this site.
Many of us hit rock bottom for the umpteenth time and then for me, it was the threat losing my home that finally made me stop. This is a progressive illness and it only gets worse, the more we carry on. Good luck and keep posting.Congratulations on nearly hitting a year. It isn’t an easy journey I know but I am very pleased your journey to being debt free isn’t a very long one!
I am nearly 14 months gf and still can’t pay off biggest debts,
Happy for you.I truly admire your home making ability and gardening, growing own produce etc. Most of my life I have struggled with that. I clean a mess and it’s still a mess but a different mess! I am pleased u can afford a few extras this month and that the job is going Ok.
My gambling crisis was for me a spiritual crisis. I was angry with God for quite a few things. Slowly over time the anger dissipated mostly through illness manifesting and I decided Jesus, the master healer was my higher power. In him all things r possible. It isn’t gods fault, we have free will and asking him to take that away is somewhat fruitless. I,knew I would die and be on the street if I continued gambling. I shut the door one day at a time and you can too. God is not a punishing God, we do that enough ourselves. He is a loving father in a life where many people don’t have that. God can’t stop you from gambling but you can with gods help. It comes when we admit we are powerless over gambling and go out and seek support through the fellowship.of GA or elsewhere. But we cannot stop without support. For me right now it is here and I occasionally go,to,GA. When we gamble and we love gambling we are often punishing ourselves. There isn’t a big win trucker because when compulsive gamblers win they lose it all again and more. That is it’s nature and we continue to go down, and fall further each time. God does love you trucker and when we enter into recovery it is thy will and not my will be done.
God wants what’s best for you trucker and you can do,it,one day at a time.Hi Trucker. Welcome to the forum. You are not the first spiritual person to fall down the gambling rabbit hole, I did too and it took a spiritual solution to come out of it and Into recovery. I had lost hope but found it again. My relationship with my higher power or God has changed radically. I,knew him not before. The same gambling stories, nearly lost my home but did lose my business. Gambling is a progressive illness, it will get worse and worse and we fall down even further until we are on the street, insane, health problems or worse.
Look at your life, is it a happy and fulfilled one through gambling? Are you powerless over gambling and has your life become unmanageable? Do you believe that a higher power can bring you back to sanity? Compulsive gamblers never win and harmless fun becomes funless harm.
Get to GA, admit those two things to yourself. But you have to,really,want to stop. Most of us go so far down before we stop and want to close that door for good. Tellyour wife and ask for help if possible in managing your finances? The depression comes from the gambling and it’s effects.
There is always hope. I thought there wasn’t any for me. I was destitute, depressed and sick for 9 months when I stopped. I did t want to get,out of bed and often didnt. But I did come out of it with a stronger belief in God and wiser, as a result. You can too but you must really want to.