[Monica1]

Speaking as someone who has been there, it will pass. My direct debits all bounced, I had a repo order on my home and I came out of that. You will too.
Have you just got until Wednesday to go?
You’re right, the holiday pay issue is t right, u should challenge him on that. I hope u get a counselling appointment soon.

[Monica1]

No iPad for a week, each charger lasts two charges. I hear Apple do this deliberately so u buy Apple chargers which I now have and charges fine. No mobile for two weeks and have never encountered such incompetence at talk mobile. No good for my blood pressure but now connected again. My week was ok. I have let go of the scan argey bargy. Sometimes docs just aren’t the way to go, and sometimes they are.
Had a long but good day yesterday as a patient for trainee Ayurvedic practitioners who all realise the limitations of western medicine and big pharma. It was excellent. Went Round four groups of trainees filmed talking about all my problems. Seems my diet was just the right thing to do but I have to nowchange it just slightly which I will do. Coriander water recommended in the morning. If I had the time to devote to Ayurveda I would do but training too intense and not for this year. Will stick to being a patient. Made so much sense what they were saying even though I knew the emotional links to my difficulties. Gut issues = gambling for hours and days at a time And the big debts.
My grandsons are down for the week from Scotland with my son, who is stArting counselling and antidepressants. I am very anti chemical Coshes as anyone who reads my thread knows but I accept that they just might help him. A colleague has been on them for years and they seem to help her. So what’s good for one not for the other.
My gut issues came back just for a bit this week cos again I ate a bit of cheese. But much reduced and nowhere near as bad. I am enjoying life. Spoke to Pete who got very drunk at his sisters funeral on 3rd and doesn’t know how he got home. Seeing him later.

[Monica1]

Thank you for your post. So glad u found it of help.

[Monica1]

How quickly the days pass. Had the day off today and still no phone line despite making a complaint for which my line rental was refunded for a month. Had to ring the awful customer service again in Egypt and that led nowhere. Virgin engineer called today for my landline to learn that my son had severed the cable when he moved in. They have to reside completely again as all outside lines outside the house in use. Weird. So no way to communicate. My son is still depressed and spent the weekend with my granddaughter who hwas admitted to hospital with chest pain. She is recovering now at home from what sounds like pleurisy but I keep in touch with her to monitor her progress. There is always something.
I went and had my ultrasound scan today and surprisingly kidneys Are fine but they found two haemangiomas, one on the pancreas and One on the liver. These are Usually benign vascular tumours. Pancreatic ones, exceedingly rare, only 15 recorded in world since 1939. He said not cysts as previously documented as different colour and showed me the scan. Cysts are dark whilst this one was bright. Well, we will see where this goes, nowhere I hope
Making plans to clear the front room of all things that need clearing of mine and my sons since he has moved in. Was embarrassed by the mess in there this morning. Three TVs, keeping on and keeping well, wondering where the days go. Determined to enjoy life.

[Monica1]

My doc rang and all my blood tests are now normal with the exception of cholesterol which has been high for 20 years. Advised again statins and again refused statins. Bought some natural plant sterols.
Having my scan on Tuesday but to be honest at the moment I am well and appreciating every minute of it.

[Monica1]

8 days since I last posted but still read posts every day. I am well. Diet working and people noticing the weight loss which is slow but steady, a stone now. Work has been ok, choosing a start date to be permanent which will be a reduction in pay but so many out of work now in my field that I feel blessed to have a job.
Biggest frustration this week is no phone and no ability to make calls since 8 days now. I blew a gasket with the Egyptian call centre and made a complaint. When you block your phone if you lose it can’t get it back again without getting a new SIM.
Yesterday hottest day of the year, 34 Celsius and sleeping difficult.
But all in all I am well. Strict Diet has eradicated all symptoms and I feel ok.
My friend has finally had surgery from which she has recovered well and is about to start radiotherapy.
I am tootling along feeling grateful to be symptom free.

[Monica1]

If steev reads this please dont stop posting. I haven’t posted
much over past couple of weeks but I read every day. I need this site to maintain my recovery.
Well, not a lot to say except that I am Ok, diet ok, still on it and have lost 13 lbs in all, slow and steady. Just with no sugar, dairy free and low fat.
Was offered the job at work and accepted it, not sure if that was the right decision or not but have made it. Still spending quite a bit of pay on nice things and treatments. Have done the eyelashes which look natural and that’s fun having nice long lashes.
Went on a work away day yesterday, which was ok, boring in parts and good in parts. An ice breaking session had around 60 of us told to get in a line from the first to the last in order of when started in the nhs., even with breaks as I have had. Oh lord, I was right at the end by ten years, 43.5 years. That felt strange to be reminded of age. I was applauded but I felt s bit of an impostor as I have loads of breaks but I did start in 1976.
I think the worst thing this week was losing my mobile. It was handed in at Mac Donald’s where I had to rush to the loo, wouldn’t eat in there now. A colleague rang me and Mac Donald’s answered it. But 7 to ten days to unlock it so without a phone now.
Today I learned that my eldest son is in his biological fathers will. He sold his house recently for a million, so good to see that he will be ok one day, from the Iva he is going through right now. His step grandmother has also mentioned him in her will, she feels guilty for her sons bad treatment of my son when he was younger.
Aside from that tootling along and I am Ok.
I get the odd urge when bored which I hve been but can counter it quite easily.

[Monica1]

Many people I know read posts but don’t necessarily post. I read posts daily but depending on time and mood don’t always post. Glad payday is here and even better that you were assertive in a very good way with hubbie. Well done.

[Monica1]

Thanks for your message. Yes, it was in the metro last week. The fbi r investigating as 5 tourists have died all over dr and many very ill. I am following this up.
I am Ok, diet still working and now steadily losing 1.5 to 2 lbs a week. Still have repeat bloods and scan to do but I am Ok. I do feel a claim Coming on though.
Would love to post more and do group but it is all work at moment and I need my sleep.

[Monica1]

I am glad u r back Laura. I think sometimes when we don’t post for a while we enter the danger zone. It has been over a week for me and conscious I must do it. Odd when the trigger is finances, we do something that just makes it worse. I am still sitting on massive debt but I never feel like gambling as a means to help with that. It never ever will work for me. I know that In the deepest way one can know that so it is not an option.Total non gambling for me is the only way as once I start I can’t stop.it isn’t fun either, like an allergy to peanuts. Hope to catch u In group soon.

[Monica1]

So glad you have posted. I try and post at least once a week. My work also takes up all my time. What were your triggers? So pleased no damage was done but how r u going to ensure the gambling beast stays asleep? I will try and make the 2pm group.

[Monica1]

Just read the lovely post u shared on sherrie’s journal. Lovely analogy. Kin often talks of cracked pots and the filling of those cracks with gold a beautiful analogy.
In my last gamble I won around 3500 pounds sterling, then I put it all back in a 48 hour binge plus my rent and cleaned myself out to 0 with no income coming in. I hit destitution so I know how u feel. Over time we all lost huge amounts, to come 10,000 is a huge amount, others lost much more in binges. It has gone, when we are able to accept this firstly and then forgive ourselves for having this addiction, not asking for it, but ending up with it anyway.
And beware payday. I was lucky in some respects if you can look at it that way in that for nine whole months I had nothing. But every week with pay coming in when in action I straight away wentto gamble it as soon as it came in. So, how r u going to protect yourself when your pay comes in? What barriers do u have in place?
And u r not alone, we have all been there, that period of having nothing at all, getting by on scraps, and I also know that it will pass, as it did with me after nine months of nothing.

[Monica1]

Yes, u r right and ty for your words of wisdom. It is more difficult for Pete really, not me so much but energetically I suppose if it affects him it affects me in some way too. Must still be joined at the hip.
And now for something totally shallow and superficial. The chap I quite liked I saw him in the street on a warm day. He had poop coloured trousers and a polo jumper. No one ever ever should wear poop Brown. And I went off him rapidly, as he also is very thin. I turned away quickly so he wouldn’t see me. There, told you it was shallow.
Yes, agree re the acupuncture. Steev, would love an update on your travels.

[Monica1]

My friend with cancer/not cancer but treatment still the same went to see a woman specialist in Birmingham who will treat her with radiotherapy with a view to surgery. She has been everywhere and because she wouldn’t do chemo, everyone including guys and the mars den refused to treat her. That is so disgusting but after four and a half years she has finally found someone who will work with her. Was pleased for her.

[Monica1]

Thank you for your messages of condolence re Diane. I did speak to Pete this week on the phone. I could tell he had been drinking and wasn’t alone, but under the circumstances who wouldn’t have a drink? He said Diane passed very peacefully, slept a lot during the week and woke up before she passed, gave one look to her husband and passed, surrounded by her family. It sounded like a peaceful way to transition. He is working a lot as summer time everyone wants their garden done or help with painting etc.
My week at work was difficult, not many weeks that aren’t.
Today I spent a lot of money in one day, a whole weeks wages and I wondered why I overspent. But, I spent some on delivered organic food, as the diet is still working, casserole dishes, a beautiful bath towel, a blender and as I do, a new handbag and purse. My last handbag is falling to pieces, having lasted three years, but when I buy a handbag I buy radley expensive. I also bought a purse as I have never carried one and I am fed up with rummaging round my bag for things. So all in all I overspent. And I know I overspent. Was it on unnecessary things? Not exactly, maybe one or two pieces I didn’t really need. I also felt urgey to spend money on a computer game, which is my gambling substitute, but didn’t.
On this diet I feel ok, no symptoms and I have got the kitchen stuff because the organic site I am on has many recipes so I will start to cook. It feels like I am going down a completely different path with Health and diet.
I also know I am avoiding ringing the revenue and must do that for an appointment, maybe my overspending has to do with that. At least I have the money to overspend for which I am grateful.
I forgot to cancel my Acupuncture appointment and they rang me. Quite pushy in fixing another one. I said I would ring them and apologised and this bothered me for at least a couple of hours, 1: because I forgot to cancel and I think I was just actually going into avoidance and 2) because they are so very psychologically pushy and this bothered me as well. I wanted to say that while it helped with a few things, cos it did, it never helped that much with my main health problem. Which was my stomach and colon. So why couldn’t I actually say it? I think that is what bothered me that I couldn’t say it. Hmmmm.

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