[Monica1]

thanks for your post idi. I would put marks and Spencer’s in the category menial low paid job sitting under retail which is a no no for me. Not with a barge pole. I Like their food but I do not want to work for them! Would be on your feet all day doing the job my mother did which left her with some serious varicose veins. My next degree would be a doctorate and I would sooner do that than ever take a job that I just don’t want to do.

Along with jonny, I know deep inside me is someone who is very competitive and wants another shot. I would not have persisted for twenty odd years to get my masters degree if there wasn’t. You are right about not pushing myself right now which I am not doing at the moment. I also do not feel that I have to get to the next rung of the ladder. I have not felt that way for some time. I went as far as I could go in my chosen career and I am satisfied with that. It is difficult right now really. Got a gut ache from the meds within two hours of taking them. You read about all the side effects and interactions of of these things and sometimes you really have to wonder about western medicine. I think we would all be horrified if we knew how many people had been seriously damaged by drug interactions, medication errors and side effects of these drugs.

[Monica1]

Today I am reflecting on hitting 60 next month. For the past year after full employment I have been Unemployed for 7 out of the past 12 months with health issues and on sickness benefit since September. I have to acknowledge, despite the industry I work in being in a slump that I am not shortlisted for posts I apply for and I think some of that has to do with my age plus what I have been doing to myself in the ever downward spiral of gambling addiction. I have to make a decision soon re my financial situation and I have to accept that if I go down theroute of bankruptcy then my career is pretty much finished. I have to accept this although I hope that in recovery this is not how events play out.
But I have to also accept that events may also play out this way. In which case I will have to reinvent myself. One thing I know for sure is that I outright refuse to live in poverty. It has never been my way Pre gambling and it certainly isn’t post gambling and in recovery.

I have been reading about people who only became successful after sixty. Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe in his sixties as did the chap who wrote master and commander at 65.

So if I cannot get a job once I am well, I have written a list of the things I am interested in. No point doing anything that you don’t like to do.

Online entrepreneur that can be done anywhere
Nutritional medicine/nutriceuticals
Writing/author
Jesus centred healing
Addictions coun selling only in gambling although I think the training for general counselliing would be too long
A doctorate
Mental Heath first aid
Volunteer work with cancer or hospice

I have a science based MBA, I should be able to be an entrepreneur. I have all the training for it. Just need to find the right avenue. Anyways, just capturing my thought on all of this to see where they may take me.
I have started my triple therapy at long last.

[Monica1]

Well done, really good.

[Monica1]

Dobra robota, naprawdę dobrze.

[Monica1]

अच्छा किया, वास्तव में अच्छा।

[Monica1]

Làm tốt, thực sự tốt.

[Monica1]

Bien joué, vraiment bien.

[Monica1]

Well done, really good.

[Monica1]

Dobrá práce, opravdu dobré.

[Monica1]

Молодец, действительно хорошо.

[Monica1]

Bravo, davvero bravo.

[Monica1]

You are right, of course and thank you for the reminder. We are powerless over gambling and must accept that in order to progress to living a normal life. Plus also know it, which I do Who ever would have thought that we would end up with this problem? Not in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen. I agree with p, how wonderful to be able to have a cuppa and a chat together. I think you are a lovely person idi. Is t it funny how the CGs I have met, particularly the women but also the guys are all lovely people who for one reason or another just found the journey through life too challenging and difficult and had no emotional outlet to express or exchange in honesty. We have too many masks in this life and the whole of society isn’t geared to honest exchanges.

[Monica1]

Lovely post idi. To be frank when I thought about it I also thought I was being a bit snobbish too. See my post on 3raser,s. I am glad I inspired you, it is nice food! Yes, it was a question of survival back then. But the hardships and there some real tough times, motivated me to study and work. I swore I would never be in poverty again cos it nearly killed me. I got my masters finally when I had cancer. It took me from 1989 to 2012 with all the modules and high cost. I actually asked if it was a record… I was diagnosed one week before my daughters wedding and it was like, give me a break! Coupled with the relationship going at the same time I chose to destroy myself and see who would attempt to stop me. No one did. But the why’s and wherefores of cause are firmly in the past now. We have chosen recovery and to make amends by focusing on what is important in life. We have honesty and hope and we can become emotionally stronger better human beings driven by love. That sounds corny a bit but you know what I mean.

[Monica1]

Lovely post idi. To be frank when I thought about it I also thought I was being a bit snobbish too. See my post on 3raser,s. I am glad I inspired you, it is nice food! Yes, it was a question of survival back then. But the hardships and there some real tough times, motivated me to study and work. I swore I would never be in poverty again cos it nearly killed me. I got my masters finally when I had cancer. It took me from 1989 to 2012 with all the modules and high cost. I actually asked if it was a record… I was diagnosed one week before my daughters wedding and it was like, give me a break! Coupled with the relationship going at the same time I chose to destroy myself and see who would attempt to stop me. No one did. But the why’s and wherefores of cause are firmly in the past now. We have chosen recovery and to make amends by focusing on what is important in life. We have honesty and hope and we can become emotionally stronger better human beings driven by love. That sounds corny a bit but you know what I mean.

[Monica1]

Well done on not gambling! Like many I thought you were of the male gender too! Plus thanks for educating me on clearly my bias towards Aldi and Lidl. We live and learn….

[Author]

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