[Monica1]

Just read this as could not access it from the link previously, came out with the text all overlapping. Most of the ladies on this site are classic escape gsmblers. I fit that profile perfectly. An accumulation of traumas and usually responsible nurturing people. Yep. I think treatment for The action type should be different to the escape type but treatment for this addiction is kind of in its infancy. It really shows me why I do not relate to most of the GA blurb and assumptions it makes about gamblers, they are referring to the action gambler.

[Monica1]

Just read this as could not access it from the link previously, came out with the text all overlapping. Most of the ladies on this site are classic escape gsmblers. I fit that profile perfectly. An accumulation of traumas and usually responsible nurturing people. Yep. I think treatment for The action type should be different to the escape type but treatment for this addiction is kind of in its infancy. It really shows me why I do not relate to most of the GA blurb and assumptions it makes about gamblers, they are referring to the action gambler.

[Monica1]

Just read this as could not access it from the link previously, came out with the text all overlapping. Most of the ladies on this site are classic escape gsmblers. I fit that profile perfectly. An accumulation of traumas and usually responsible nurturing people. Yep. I think treatment for The action type should be different to the escape type but treatment for this addiction is kind of in its infancy. It really shows me why I do not relate to most of the GA blurb and assumptions it makes about gamblers, they are referring to the action gambler.

[Monica1]

Good post Laura. I wonder why it is so difficult sometimes to have our needs met. I have wondered about that a lot. I thought it might be a woman thing but I think men could probably say the same thing. You maintained such a long recovery period which stresses the importance of staying in touch with GA and recovery throughout the rest of our lives. I find this forum really valuable in doing that. In fact, I think I may be addicted to it! Healthier addiction than gambling that’s for sure.

[Monica1]

Short post today as I am behind with my writing for GA tomorrow and other things I have omitted to do and now need to do quite urgently. Suffice to say very lazy day as this trip,e therapy has some side effects. But two significant things happened today.

Firstly gma rang with details of 1st assessment this week.

Secondly, an opportunity has arisen which may take some time to come to fruition. Even if it doesn’t materialise, it makes me strongly believe in higher power as it could not be more perfect for me and my needs. Anyway, not going to go into any detail about it as it is early days and may not materialise but will post if it does.

[Monica1]

I am really sorry to hear this and wish to offer my sincere condolences on the passing of your sister. Must have come as a terrible shock. All good wishes at this sad time.

[Monica1]

I get that with your husband, I was similar except I was the breadwinner most of the time. Mine was a combination of reasons as I have outlined previously. But it was for all of us emotional pain turned inwards destructively. I find that we are all quite sensitive and deeply reflective people when not gambling living in a world and lives that seem quite harsh sometimes. It is only in the connectedness and our higher power that can give hope for Change and transformation. Thanks for posting on my thread Laura.

[Monica1]

Hi idi
Thank you for the lovely post on my thread. Your recovery is down to one thing, you, but it is wonderful to have supportive friends along the way and I am glad to have met you and everyone else who posts regularly on the forum. We have declared that we had had enough of the the misery, destruction and torture gambling brings. Now years ago I used to have a recurring dream of tidal waves. It is very common. I would see the wave coming, it was massive and I would run for higher ground but it would not often hit me. I was sometimes alone and sometimes with family but is was always somewhere coastal like Brighton and the like. Water links to the emotions and it is saying something about emotional overwhelm. I still love the sea, however, and I find when I am close to the sea, I experience great calm. I link the tide coming in and out to the rise and fall of the breath, and the inner peace that connecting to our higher power brings. I have felt that peace on occasions over the past few days. I am really pleased that you are spending your pay on you and your son. We both need to reinvent ourselves in recovery and many of the things you are feeling I have felt too on this recovery journey. The sadness and deep regret are hard to deal with, they go away to come back again. But we have to remember the powerlessness once the addiction has gotten a hold. You taught me that. I wonder how we will feel in one years time and how much life will change if we work recovery. I bet it changes a lot. One thing I do know is that neither you or I want to go through this again, I certainly don’t have it in me to go back through the same thing over and over again. The last time was the last time, and I think that is the case for you too. It is simply time to learn about who we are in this life. I have spent too long focusing on the spirit but not enough time on me and acknowledging the journeys we have been on in this life and who we are. The truth is we can be anyone or do anything we want to. Neal Donald Walsch who wrote the wonderful books, conversations with God describes our journey through life as becoming bigger and grander versions of who we really are and we can choose consciously about who we really are. There are many things I have put down and discarded in my conversation to Christianity but Neal Donald walsch is not one of them. He speaks with great wisdom I. His books. Talk later.

[Monica1]

I get that loneliness and regret for the life we didn’t live. If I hadn’t gambled my life would be totally different now. But we must keep letting go of those thoughts. Now just to remind you.
I got my masters degree aged 55
I started making a lot of money aged 52 carrying that through to 54 when I started gambling. Not long I know but it was a lot.
I am a very late starter and living proof that it is never too late. You’re up late, same as me, woke up at midnight after falling asleep at 8.

[Monica1]

I get that loneliness and regret for the life we didn’t live. If I hadn’t gambled my life would be totally different now. But we must keep letting go of those thoughts. Now just to remind you.
I got my masters degree aged 55
I started making a lot of money aged 52 carrying that through to 54 when I started gambling. Not long I know but it was a lot.
I am a very late starter and living proof that it is never too late. You’re up late, same as me, woke up at midnight after falling asleep at 8.

[Monica1]

Thanks so much for the lovely post Laura. And for the encouragement. I still find I am swinging a bit from tired to Ok day to day. And still have the mood swings somewhat. Although I am grateful for the good days. Sometimes I am not sure what is recovery and what is my medical conditions all brought on by sinking into a very bad state with this addiction. I appreciate your suppport Laura.

[Monica1]

Thanks so much for the lovely post Laura. And for the encouragement. I still find I am swinging a bit from tired to Ok day to day. And still have the mood swings somewhat. Although I am grateful for the good days. Sometimes I am not sure what is recovery and what is my medical conditions all brought on by sinking into a very bad state with this addiction. I appreciate your suppport Laura.

[Monica1]

Thanks as always for your supportive post. They are always so positive which I appreciate. I do find that energy levels do shift quite a bit day to day but I am OK and glimpsing the old me back more now than before. Just in the past week. Still not there yet but hope to be. I am going to be more patient with things which will save me a lot of grief.

[Monica1]

Hi all,
Well, what a beautiful autumn day today, love these sort of days but definitely time to bring out the warmer clothes and for women, time to being out the tights which I have avoided till now.
Set out to achieve small goals and achieved them all. Walked to gps to get bloods taken from both arms. Unfortunately, took my triple therapy without food earlier and then felt mighty strange in the street and threw up everywhere. What fun. Body is so,smart, doesn’t want this triple therapy. Recovered very quickly. Then Took the bus to dole office with my medical certificate. Got home and having problems with Petes dog. He won’t leave my side and hid from pete last night under my bed when it came time to go for a walk. So I took him out today for a walk in the park. The park was so beautiful with all the vibrant colours,of autumn and so still. Very therapeutic although Bailey keeps dragging me round but he stayed by me all the time when I sat down on a park bench. Pete getting very irritated with the dogs behaviour. Next task step work on financials. Despite my earlier calamity feeling ok and remembering to eat now before I take my meds. Spoke too soon, the bailiffs just called yet again. Next task tomorrow go to the Council and sort out my Council tax. What joy!

[Monica1]

Hi, when we clean out neglected areas of our home, it is very therapeutic, it is literally cleaning out our lives for the new to appear and come in. I get the doubts creeping in and also the odd thought about gambling. It is just slight resistance I think to our good coming in but it is not about the thought, but about the action. Old habits of mind spring up but that’s all they are, old habits. That which we fed grows stronger idi and we are both feeding recovery and not the other thing. Have a great day idi.

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