[Momoftwogreatkids]

Thank you Velvet. Your response made me cry, but a lot makes me cry, haha!!

I’m having a really hard time. I am going to try and meet with an attorney this week. My dad believes me, and isn’t surprised and just says my husband is bluffing, but I wouldn’t mind having him out of my life, but I want my kids to live with me. I know he will have visitation, but I just can’t have them living with him. He is not changed in any way through his “counseling” if he is even really going. I just can’t see him being focused on Them like they need. It is all overwhelming. Just realizing things that were lies that I didn’t know were lies. And listening to him tell new lies is really hard. He believes and says he can stop gambling anytime and that he just has a few bad years. So he is miraculously cured now and not gambling. Well, how would I know?? I feel like I have been a good person. He says that I’m rude in front of my kids and when I say “I am not rude” he tells me to look it up in the dictionary. My own family is many hours away and old. They can’t really help me. I have a few friends, but not a lot I can lean on. He has a lot of brothers and sisters and for years I have wondered why they were so rude to me. His father was a gambling addict before liver disease disabled him. I had no idea they thought I was the problem. I always told my husband he should not take money from his parents or siblings. I never understood why he needed to get money from them. It always bothered me. No one in my family was a drinker or a gambler, so I feel I was naive. I had no idea this was a real thing. I just thought he was selfish. He is an attorney, so I fear a lot of things. I feel like my son is angry with me, and his dad has no plans of accepting any responsibility for any arguments We have had. I am not composed. I am happier when he moves out and stays with his parents, but the last six months he has refused to leave. I feel like he has some “strategy” that he has already planned out. Just drive me crazy and make me look like a mad woman. He messes up things in the house and does the opposite of everything I ask. He controls all of the finances and would never give up any of it. He would never let me take over paying bills or the bank accounts. I mean if you really admit having an addiction isn’t that just a given? It is definitely an unhealthy place for all of us. I will may  feel better or even worse when I speak to an attorney. It may make it worse for me, I don’t know. All I do know is that he believes he is some victim. He believes his family, and that I am the problem. This is a 46 year old man that still uses his moms gas card to buy 100% of ALL of his gas. Even when his company pays his expenses. He uses his mom’s gas credit card. His parents pay for all of his car repairs. They give him a Walmart card to use. All the while, me and the kids get whatever scraps he leaves in the banK account. He swears he doesn’t  lie. He says “I made a few mistakes.” Ugh. I am so tired of it all. 

[Momoftwogreatkids]

Ok I will try this . Thanks!

[Momoftwogreatkids]

I totally understand how you feel. You know you’ve been lied to so many times. The sad thing is that there are probably so many more lies than you know.
My husband’s family enabled him to gamble behind my back and blame me for his financial issues for 20 years. His family has hated me, and I never understood what I did. I just didn’t make enough money according to them.
I hope to find a way out of my marriage soon. And I hope you can find a support person to call or meet with. I talked to a gamanon group leader on the phone that gave me a lot of support. At the time I didn’t realize how bad things really were. But the gamanon support person knew my situation better than me. I hope you have your own family to reach out to. No matter what, you can always reach out to your own family.

[Momoftwogreatkids]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I admire your strength to leave. I wish I had that at the moment.
I think it is smart and lucky that you can leave and get out of the marriage.
I have been married for 20 years this July, I have two young kids, and my husband is a gambling addict. I confronted him almost one year ago exactly. I have been dependent on his income as I only work part time. To leave him will be very difficult. I feel like leaving would be best for my kids, but it scares me. I have to get a good job first and make sure I can pay for every bill myself. My CG husband ruined my credit, blames me for his addiction, and has told his entire family that he borrows money from them because I don’t make enough to help support the family. So they think I am a terrible person and have told me that they would have divorced me a long time ago, and that my CG husband has been too tolerant.. It has been so painful to live with this addiction. His family has given him hundreds of thousands of dollars through the years. It’s insane how they helped him hide the gambling. They don’t believe he has a problem. To them, I am the problem. I pray for the same strength that you have to leave. I am scared, but I want to leave with my kids. I have asked him to leVe but he won’t move out. I have been lied to for years about every little thing. How did you find the strength to get out?

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