[Molly_WI]

Hello All,

Couldn’t find an actual GamAnon meeting to go to, but did attend one AlAnon meeting last week.

Husband is attempting to quit gambling once again.

This time, I have told him I cannot remain married to him if he keeps gambling (and smoking in the house, in the car, in front of me and our kids).

I’m pretty confident he will fail once again. It’s been two weeks so far no gambling, but he has previously stopped for longer and gone right back.

I insisted he see a therapist and an MD. So far he has only made an appointment with a psychologist he has yet to go. The EAP guy (employee assistance program) plans to meet with me and him and us together.

He has previously been hospitalized twice in our marriage for nervous breakdowns in which he became paranoid and deeply deeply depressed.

So, I’m sort of hoping at this point he will fail again, so I can follow through with a divorce. I wish I didn’t hope this, but I see no way of living with him into retirement if he can’t take care of himself. I’m tired of feeling like I’m his mother.

He also rages in the house periodically, overreacting to stuff, snapping at the kids, etc.

Right now he’s in the mode where he tries to be super nice and caring about me, which I know is his way of being sorry for all the crappy stuff he’s done and what he’s put us through. It won’t last.

The major thing I’m worried about is how my finances will fare in a divorce, and how the heck we arrange to have two households and how do I see the kids off to school when I start work at 0600. (Kids are two teens girls and a preteen boy, so I suppose they are capable of getting to the bus stop on their own.)

Pissed that if we divorce I will probably end up paying him because I have been the one working full time I have been the one putting away loads into the 403b and the HSA I have been the one paying the medical insurance, etc. He works part time but does all this other volunteer stuff after work that he’s not paid for it probably ends up to full time for him, but only paid maybe a third of my income. I feel like I’ve carried the load so long and now he will enjoy the benefit.

Cannot see any other way but following through on my ultimatum to him—things have to change or we are done.

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