[MilkTrayMan]

Hi guys,

Sorry I know this probably isn’t the most inspiring or dramatic thread to bump – but for now I still find it useful to document my progress somewhere 🙂

Today I am 38 days 100% gamble free – before that was another 15 days, so I’ve gambled once in the past 53 days. It feels good writing that.

It hasn’t been easy.. I wouldn’t recommend this to others but to satisfy the itch I was hitting the slot manufacturers websites and playing games on free-play, just simulating big stakes plays over and over until it’s drilled into me exactly what the actual odds are.

I did this a lot at first, and more recently I’ve started thinking “this is boring/stupid” and moving on to something else.. weirdly despite having the games in-front of me I’ve had no desire to play them with real money, I’ve played them so much on free-play that I now fully understand how unlikely a big win is.. you’d have to bankrupt yourself several times over to find one and it would never be more than you’ve lost.

Now that I’ve stopped doing this – stopped having anything to do with slots or gaming.. life is ok. Obviously one of the big things I have to deal with like many of you is debt.. I have a lot of it.

Since I’ve stopped gambling the situation has slightly improved as you would expect.. but it feels like chipping away at a mountain with a spoon. I should be out of the ‘danger zone’ within about 8 months, and fully paid off within maybe 2yrs.. that’s really depressing, that’s the real loss right there.. If I had never gambled, I would have no debt right now.. And that’s the bitter truth that most of us play to escape, it’s SO hard to swallow it and accept it.

In truth the ONLY way to accept it is to distract yourself and find happiness in life, try to stop obsessing over finances and just let time / hard work and frugality erode it away.

To anyone who’s trying to quit you can do it – make sure you track your progress daily, I use an app called Way of life.

Also make sure if you don’t have any hobbies – TAKE SOME ON!! Even if that means spending a bit of money and you don’t feel you deserve to.

Lastly – try to stop obsessing over your finances and looking for a way out – the way out is time, and every decision you make not to give in to gambling.

Thanks all!

[MilkTrayMan]

Hi guys,

I am 15 days gamble free today, that was since a minor slip up with (thankfully) minor losses, it was another 15 days gamble free before that.

So in that last 30 days I’ve had one slip up – that’s a bit of a blot on an otherwise gamble free month, but I’m trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives 🙂

I’ve found myself obsessing less over my finances and just allowing time to pass – I’m gradually coming to terms with my debt and how long it will take to pay it off.. it’s a big chunk of my life to lose but I think healing is all about coming to terms with that loss rather than trying to undo it or erode it by trying to win.

If I’m honest I have found myself going to the slot game manufacturer websites and playing the games on free mode… I don’t know why I do this, I guess I like to imagine it’s real and then when I lose over and over again it feels good knowing that it’s not real and it re-affirms my decision not to gamble.. it disproves any notion I might have that if I go for one big stakes session that I will win.

I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this for others though since it’s kinda like a nicotine patch for a quitting smoker and might foster that dependancy somewhat 🙂

I’m using an app called Way of life to track my gambling progress and other metrics in my life, currently the gambling side of it is trending down to almost completely zero.

Life is getting back on track- I have a tiny bit of financial room to wiggle which means no more payday loans ever again I hope.. and no more lying to myself ever again… or collapsing in tears promising myself I will quit.

it’s been a dark chapter – and I REALLY feel like I’m coming out of it now, I truly feel in this moment that after (almost) 30 days gamble free that I Will stick to it. But I don’t want to stop coming here and reading, I don’t want to forget what it was like.

Take care everyone!

[MilkTrayMan]

Hi guys,

Have managed to stay distracted and racked up 11 days free of gambling in a row which is great.. it’s eroded away the guilt of breaking my last consecutive effort which is good – and as a result I’m determined not to make the same mistakes again.

Some good news coming for UK people – gamstop.co.uk apparently goes live before the end of this year and allows for self-exclusion from all online gambling in one go, which will be comforting.. especially to me since I’ve only ever done it online.

I’ve realised that over the past few years when it was really bad – I was just as addicted to going through my finances as I was to gambling… I would nudge figures, push back payment dates or do lots of other kinds of trickery to CONVINCE myself I had more spare money to play with, when you run a company there are SO many ways of doing this (eg/ paying yourself too early / borrowing from the company) – I would continue to justify to myself that I could afford it / that it wasn’t that bad etc..

Once I stopped playing and ‘woke up’ to the reality of it – I was just so far behind and in so much debt it’s crazy… The figures would make all of your eyes water! – Fortunately though, I have a great job with a good income.. but even so, it will take at least 2-3 years from now to get some savings built up and get the debts down to near zero or a more manageable amount.

I’ve accepted this fact.. it was a hard fact to swallow considering I should have no debts and a lot of money put aside… this is what most people who know me probably think is the case.. 🙁 That shame was one of the driving forces of my playing – I would play high stakes to try and offset this fact and get back to where I should be. £100 slot spins and such.. Awful.

But now that I’m not gambling, I also don’t feel the need to obsess over my finances.. and instead just try to focus on being good at my job, living a simple frugal lifestyle and just being grateful for what I have.. I have so much to be thankful for – now I’m just allowing time to pass so that this horrible nightmare can be eroded away with time and things can gradually improve.

A little money aside each month – reduced debt each month.. and the hope that I can keep this up and get my life back on track

Thanks for reading 🙂

[MilkTrayMan]

Had a bit of a relapse today – really not sure what the trigger was… I think it was just looking at my balance and seeing that I could afford to lose a little.

Of course the reality is – I’m still paying off large debts as a result of my previous gaming, so ‘afford to lose’ is just kidding myself.

Trying not to beat myself up too much – because I’ve been several weeks clean.. I used to relapse quite a bit when I first started but the overall trend was less and less gambling.

I thought I got to the point where it was over for good – but I guess today proves I can’t be too careful.

I guess I’ve been down in the dumps recently because even though I’ve been much happier since I stopped gambling – looking at my finances just reminds me how I have to pay the majority of my income towards debts for the next 2 years (assuming I stop)

I guess I need to try and re-frame those 2yrs and try to see it as not that much time – keep my head down with hobbies and other things in the meantime.

I’m going to try to out-do my last longest streak of non-gambling, this time I will try to fight back when the itch comes on – I’ll think of you all when doing that.

Let’s see if we can do the rest of 2017 bet free – I do hope that Gamstop comes into force by then as promised.

Thanks everyone!

[MilkTrayMan]

Привет, я действительно чувствую твою боль – я уже несколько недель играю бесплатно и рисую свое эмоциональное состояние, я на самом деле счастливее, чем когда-либо. Всего несколько недель перерыва оказывают невероятное влияние на ваше самочувствие. Я всегда обнаруживал, что одиночество, особенно чувство скуки или депрессии, является самым слабым положением, в котором нужно сопротивляться желанию играть. Единственный совет, который я могу вам дать, – это то, что у меня сработало; Я составил план, охватывающий следующие 12 месяцев – в основном финансовый, но отчасти другой – так что в конце этого плана я уменьшу свой долг / сэкономлю немного денег и улучшу некоторые из моих хобби (например, / боевые искусства ) в хорошей степени .. Как только план составлен – Если у меня есть принуждение к игре, я буду пытаться думать: «Мне НЕ НУЖНО играть – план рассортирует все». Я знаю, что азартные игры помешают выполнению этого плана. происходит – даже если я выиграю, потому что выигрыш означает больше азартных игр, что означает проигрыш – этого никогда не бывает. Я использую приложение под названием wayoflife, которое позволяет мне каждый день отслеживать свой прогресс в чем угодно. Это означает, что я выполняю свой генеральный план ЕЖЕДНЕВНО, и что план может быть отброшен или нарушен всего за ОДИН день разрыва этой цепочки. Это очень мощный мотиватор, но поначалу это очень сложно … примерно через 4 дня становится намного легче, так что держитесь, если попробуете. Следующий шаг – подумать о году – это долгий срок, но это также НЕ долгий срок, в зависимости от вашего мышления … когда вы отказываетесь от чего-то, кажется, что время течет так медленно, день без азартных игр кажется неделей .. Но подумайте о том, что вы сделали, что длилось годами, 1 год – если вы можете просто расслабиться и придерживаться своего плана – это не так уж много 🙂

[MilkTrayMan]

Hi there,

I really feel your pain – I’ve been gamble free for a few weeks now and charting my emotional state, I’m actually happier now than I have been in a really long time. The effects on your wellbeing are incredibly powerful with just a few weeks off.

I always found that being alone – especially feeling bored or depressed is the weakest position to be in to resist the urge to gamble.

The only advice I can give you is what worked for me;

I made a plan, spanning over the next 12 months – mostly financial but partly other stuff – so at the end of that plan, I’ll have slashed my debt / saved some money and improved at some of my hobbies (eg/ martial arts) to a good degree..

Once the plan is in place – If I have a compulsion to gamble I will try to think “I don’t NEED to gamble – the plan will sort everything”

I know that gambling will prevent the plan from happening – even if I win, because winning means more gambling which means losing – it’s never enough.

I use an app called wayoflife – which allows me to input my progress on anything every day. This means that I am on track for my master plan on a DAILY level, and that the plan can be pushed back or broken by just ONE day of breaking that chain.

This is a very powerful motivator – but it’s very hard at first.. it gets much easier after about 4 days or so – so hang in there if you try it.

The next step is to think about a year – it’s a long time but it’s also NOT a long time, depending on your mindset.. when you are giving something up time seems to move by so slowly, a day without gambling feels like a week.. But think of something you’ve done that’s lasted years, 1 year – if you can just relax and stick to your plan – is not a long time 🙂

[MilkTrayMan]

If you are based in the UK – it will exclude you from every site which is licensed in the UK.. in theory, it’s not possible to gamble on websites from inside the UK which don’t have a license here.

I think just knowing that means you will self exclude safe in the knowledge that you can’t gamble online anymore – period

[MilkTrayMan]

I can totally relate to this, the pattern goes;

You lose -> You keep betting -> You win -> It’s not enough
[REPEAT]

[MilkTrayMan]

The more time that passes without gambling – the more “OK” seeming it becomes to gamble a little again.. Since the memories of how bad you felt have faded, you have a bit more money in the bank.

It almost feels harmless to indulge a little in what feels like an old hobby.. You only need to see the relapse posts on here to know that it’s a trap, I know how hard it is to keep that in mind.. but try 😀

[MilkTrayMan]

“f you’re feeling down about being financially worser off than you would’ve been had you never gambled”

This is something I struggled with quite a bit… But you have to come to see it in a different way as you said.

I look at it this way, in order to become stronger, better – more intelligent people.. we need to make mistakes in life. People who have never struggled or suffered in life tend to be miserable, people who have suffered and come out the other side are well adjusted.

I look at this debt as a mortgage on happiness – You can’t enjoy the good times without having been through the bad.. Debt is a scar you can heal.

[MilkTrayMan]

I can really relate to this post – everything you described in the patterns, the self delusion, the inevitable outcomes..

After going through all that – life can seem like it’s moving in slow motion at first.. but I look at my finances which are still tricky, but would be SO much worse if I hadn’t stopped.. Life is slowly getting back on track for both of us.

I’m about the same age as you – and had a very similar experience to you – I’m just about letting go of the self hatred and beginning to remember the things I used to think about being becoming obsessed with gambling.

Take care and keep it up mate 🙂

[MilkTrayMan]

No debts? You are so much further ahead than many of us my friend 🙂

You still have a fresh slate, don’t hate yourself for mistakes – just find the strength to see the opportunity that you have! 😀

[MilkTrayMan]

É quase como perguntar se um alcoólatra em recuperação pode se tornar um barman? Tecnicamente sim – mas por que fariam isso? Milhões de outras profissões por aí, todas elas mais adequadas.

[MilkTrayMan]

Gandrīz vai jautāt, vai atveseļojošais alkoholiķis varētu kļūt par bārmeni? Tehniski jā – bet kāpēc viņi to darītu? Miljoniem citu profesiju, kas visas ir labāk piemērotas.

[MilkTrayMan]

يكاد يكون مثل السؤال هل يمكن لمدمن كحول متعافي أن يصبح ساقيًا؟ نعم من الناحية الفنية – ولكن لماذا يفعلون ذلك؟ الملايين من المهن الأخرى هناك ، كلها مناسبة بشكل أفضل.

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