[micky]

I like that sad “relief in my heart ” it has a kind of ring to it. I have been christmas food shopping today i cannot remember the last time i actually got everything i needed like i have done today 🙂

[micky]

Sorry to hear your struggling with life at the moment John, please take sad and vera’s advice it’s not worth the other options you have been talking about lifes too precious. Please keep posting you have friends here 🙂

[micky]

I’m working over christmas ( morning shift christmas day – home at 2.30 ) spending the rest of the day with my cats ( they will love the turkey because there will be plenty to spare) i will pop over and see my youngest son at some point too. First one without my mam but to be honest it hasn’t quite hit home apart from little things like the other day buying family cards i didn’t have to get her one which seemed very surreal . Thats one of the reasons i do not booze anymore it brings all the depression out of me and flattens me 🙁

[micky]

Not alot to talk about today been on afternoon shift , thought about getting a £5 scratch card after work but thought better of it going shopping tomorrow morning and it will go towards that 🙂

[micky]

My son is 14 ( 15 in may it’s not like he still thinks santa brings the presents anymore ) ) so i asked him if he would like his tv/dvd now instead of christmas day ,he thought about it overnight and took it home with him yesterday my ex-wife texted to say he loves it 🙂 Great feeling knowing he’s happy with it 🙂

[micky]

My son is 14 ( 15 in may it’s not like he still thinks santa brings the presents anymore ) ) so i asked him if he would like his tv/dvd now instead of christmas day ,he thought about it overnight and took it home with him yesterday my ex-wife texted to say he loves it 🙂 Great feeling knowing he’s happy with it 🙂

[micky]

Yippee i like it Sad 🙂 Did you know every licensed grey hound track has to have a freezer to store the dead dogs in , yes it’s true 🙁 such a barbaric sport 🙁 also i overheard someone at work saying he couldn’t believe how many odds on favourites on the horses have been losing lately ??? CORRUPTION !!!! Not all but some of it has to be , hasn’t it ????

[micky]

Yes Sad i am looking forward to christmas i was able to buy my son the tv/dvd he wants for christmas today 🙂 thanks to our bonus from work which i would have usually gambled away 🙁 i hope you are doing okay and looking forward to christmas too .:)

[micky]

Thanks Vera, i have gaudete on c.d. by steeleye span i didn’t know what it meant pleased i do now 🙂 Life is full of joy 🙂

[micky]

Well done kpat 🙂 My calendar 2 months wil be on wednesday 17/12/2014. 🙂 And i too am only chipping away at the financial damage but small chips turn into big chunks eventually 🙂

[micky]

Back at work tomorrow on my own shift and the start of another shift cycle, just been checking on how long it has been since i last gambled and it is 58 days . It seems such a long time ago and yet it isn’t it’s felt like much longer . It is very hard at times not gambling and the temptation is always here now i have money but the rewards of not giving in to it are massive. Not drinking as much, i have only drank once in the last 51 days is paying off too i feel much healthier and happier. Every time i get off my exercise bike or finish doing my exercises i feel as if i have achieved something . Also crossing off lists and filling my exercise and spends diary’s in everyday gives me something to look at and i can see the benefits of not betting or boozing. To anyone reading my journal please don’t think it’s easy what i have achieved it is a challenge everyday and thats how i see each day as a fresh challenge. O.D.A.A.T. -O.M.A.A.T. Micky. 🙂

[micky]

Thanks john i am doing great most of the time, the rest of the time i’m just like everyone else we all have ups and downs 🙂 it’s how we handle them no-ones life is perfect 🙂

[micky]

Got talking to a couple of work mates today and the conversation was corruption within horse racing , they both agreed it is rife and one guy talked about how one trainer had stopped a horse winning a race. I have known this for a long time and thankfully do not gamble but unfortunately i still get those unwanted urges that set my heart racing and stomach churning. I am not going back to that situation ever again. My strategy is to stop think and keep thinking until the urge passes and it always does eventually once my mind takes in the devastation gambling will bring to my life if i do it again.

[micky]

It has been a horrible year for you john and i can see why you are looking forward to 2015. So you have 19 days left to prepare for it . Use those days wisely and i’m sure you will go into 2015 with a positive and gamble free outlook 🙂

[micky]

John lennon legend is full of great songs not least “imagine” this song at the start of the album is pure class and ” Give peace a chance” at the end is very fitting just a shame world leaders don’t listen 🙁 and probably never will 🙁

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