[micky]

Staying positive after my setback last week, the dust has settled and i have hoovered it up it’s gone it’s in the past. I can’t change it but i can control the future . So an update my treatment with the NPGC should start in about 2 weeks time which almost coincides with my last payment to my DMP. I would have preferred it to have started sooner but for reasons out of my control it hasn’t . I have decided to accept the things i cannot change and appreciate the things i have , life is too short to let the things i can’t control bring me down and turn to escapism in the form of alcohol and gambling. Been a positive day today , been over to see my youngest son and gave him his early christmas present , he’s chuffed and so am i. 🙂

[micky]

Thanks Vera, Kpat and Sad for your kind words and uplifting comments i need them right now , things were going so well the only way is up again i have survived with less before and i will do so again, going to sell some stuff to cash4 clothes to ease the burden . Payday will come but it’s like walking through glue when it’s like this, going to put every barrier i can think of in place until then time to walk the walk again. Thanks once again 🙂

[micky]

Went on the forum earlier , i must go on them more often deffo good therapy .

[micky]

Drank too much on sunday and gambled what money i had left for the month , back to square one again for now , will have to sell some things for money , can’t get a loan anywhere because of my bad credit . Probably a good thing so no more debt , feel like shit right now all the sick feelings are with me once again . Even e-mailed the samaritans last night 🙁

[micky]

Last weekend off before i return to the fun factory on monday, exercise rest day today but i might just do a few exercises i do 4days on 1 day off. A nice chilled out week-end me thinks. 🙂

[micky]

Life is a roller coaster thats what people say
So many ups and downs along the way
So just remember on your next journey down
There’s a massive up to wipe away your frown
And as time goes by your descents will decline
Giving you the strength to climb and to climb
And when you reach that dizzy height
That’s when you know, you’ve won your fight.

[micky]

A win everyday is not gambling everyday as Jessica said. 🙂 Substituting our gambling time for something else is a must i keep fit so it’s a win-win. Yes there is still the thoughts of gambling they will never go away as thoughts of anything else in your past will not either it’s how you deal with those thoughts. I carry a piece of paper in my wallet and if needs be get it out , it’s a list of all the positives in my life . 🙂 Then think about the consequences if i gamble on those positives , it’s a no-brainer 🙂

[micky]

HI Deile you are definitely in the right place, Jessica is right a win is not gambling today and the next day and the day after that, One Day At A Time. O.D.A.A.T. There are other things you can be doing i spend the time i would have spent gambling , keeping fit . Keep posting .Micky

[micky]

Hi Sad i cannot remember the last time i was debt free, my plans are to put month money away each month in a savings account ( for my mortgage ) , book a holiday for august and carry on with the way i have been budgeting also save money up for another car when the time comes.

[micky]

Awareness is key Charles, my debts will be clear next month so December will be a Key month for me .

[micky]

HI vera , went to see the ” Lambrettas ” on saturday night and had a date yesterday , Mri scan was satisfactory ( Okay ) small cyst on sinus and some lesions which are normal so i’m a happy bunny 🙂

[micky]

Gig tonight and a date tomorrow , the things you can do when not wasting your money on gambling, shame i wasted so much but it’s gone and i have drawn a line under it 🙂

[micky]

For anyone reading this check my thread i have been to hell and back not going to bore you with the details , but i’m not sure myself how i’m only 4 and a half weeks away from being debt free from this addiction. I tried everything and suffered losing so much FAMILY BEING THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I HAVE LOST but there is hope and when i look back now i’m so glad my suicide attempts failed. And there were several not least when i had a seizure in A@E after a drugs overdose and they brought me back . Thats the bottom line of how far this addiction took me, it wasn’t a cry for help i wanted to die to get me out of the misery. So if anyone reading this feels there is no way out hang on and pick up the phone and call someone anyone and be honest about how you are feeling do not chance it to fate like i did .

[micky]

Home is where the heart is Vera, got the thoughts again earlier , let them in and thought them through and all the hopeless, helpless feelings i would have ended up with and went home and done my work out and feel great 🙂

[micky]

I only seem to feel really safe when i get home i wonder if anyone else feels that way .

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