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Hello my lovely aussie friend
Well, I’m always first in line for a roller coaster ride, so count me in too. (yes, I will elbow Velvet out of the way to get to the front of the queue LOL).
Actually I think the rollercoaster analogy is very fitting for your situation. you see, the thing is with a rollercoaster, once its started, you cant jump off! You can cling on for dear life and be terrified the whole way, but that wont change the ride… its gonna happen anyway!
Or you can just throw your arms in the air, and just GO WITH IT! Yes, i think thats called "letting GO!". Easier said than done I know, but for whatever reason Kathryn, the universe has decided to give you this opportunity, this enormous challenge, of letting go!
We are all on this rollercoaster ride with ya babe! Al’s gonna have a big job hanging on to his cowboy hat, the sick bags AND managing the blessed elephant… someone will have to tell Velvet (gently) that her zimmerframe wont FIT in the rollercoaster… and someone else will have to give Vera a nudge to wake her up from nightshift again! As for me, I have a new waterproof mascara that can handle tears of any description!!!!
I love that you are talking about dealing with your feelings, and facing them head on! And that you are so fiercely determined that you will not let this send you backwards. Look at how much you have faced already. You are not going to turn into a raving lunatic. Far from it.
I do hope you and dames can find a way to share your feelings and talk openly about how its affecting you both, BEFORE you get the results. This is a great opportunity for the two of you to strengthen the bond and the openness that you have both been building on eh. So go and sit that man of yours down, tell him that you love him, but theres a big bloody elephant that needs sorting out, and you need his help to ask it to leave!
Thanks for your post, and for keeping me updated. Rest assured though I am checking in here regularly to see how your doing! Awesome score on the wii by the way!! Ya might need to give wee harry some extra weetbix for breakfast though, if he’s scoring a 48!!? LOL!
Much love and light to you
Meg xxx"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Hi Chook
Great to see you in group. Ahh… I really needed a laugh today!! Thanks! Have replied to your post on my thread.
Meg xxxx"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Hi Kathryn
Been thinkin of you! … as you know I’m planning sydney trip, and everytime i think of the baby elephant at the zoo – I think of you, and your ‘elephant in the corner’ that i hope, for your sake, is now house trained !
Ahhh theres nothing more liberating for a woman than having ill-placed facial hair removed eh!! Its worth the few moments of agony, and the few hours of red skin and swelling. haha. Its alright for you to laugh Al, you guys can just deal to it with a razor! Ya wanna try some hot wax some time fellas…ouch. i reckon there’d be more men with beards! LOL!
I’ve just come from a funeral today Kathryn. I find funerals a great time for reflecting on where we are at, and how far we’ve come. Theres nothing like death to remind us to LIVE everyday like its our last! And to remind us of who and what is really important to us! I went to the funeral with my dad, and hugged him extra tight when we said goodbye, and reminded him how much I love him.
Betfilter sounds like a good option! Might be better than having Velvet on your doorstep looking to bop ya on the nose!!!? Though with the way airport security is these days, they probably wouldn’t let her on the plane with that zimmerframe of hers……they’d deem it a weapon of mass destruction!! LOL
Sleep well! Night.
Meg"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Hi Kathryn
I was just about off to bed, when i read your post about the shopping trip! I am SOOO laughing with ya! My son has school shoes JUST like that too… and I bet when you asked Harry WHY the jumper ‘didn’t work’, he just rolled his eyes at you???!!
We ALL put these expectations on ourselves and personally I BLAME DISNEY MOVIES! LOL
My kids were watching one recently where the mom was all ‘apple pie’, she was caring and sharing, she did amazingly cool things with her kids, she was never grumpy and endlessly forgiving! Oh and did I mention she was also drop dead gorgeous too?! Ugh. I’m sure the movie had a story line but I didn’t pick it up, I was too busy being mortified by the fact my kids were lapping this stuff up!
I wanted to slam-dunk the OFF button and scream at them "don’t you KNOW real mothers are NOT LIKE THIS!!" … but i knew i wouldn’t be able to help myself and I’d then finish the sentence with something like…" and anyway you should be doing your homework, your bike is STILL lying in the driveway and I’m so damn sick of picking up after everyone in the place!"… so i thought it best to leave them to their fantasy… while i went straight to the kitchen to bake them some brownies (NOT!)
Sleep well with those 60 days under your belt babe!
love and light
meg xxx
Hi kathryn!
Go girl!! Big high-five comin to ya from across the tasman!! Well done!
Meg xxx"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Dear Kathryn
As always I applaud your openness and honesty. Posts like that are not always easy for any of us to read, but i know they must be so much harder to write!!! The fact that you are able to do so, speaks volumes of your progress and you should feel so proud.
Like Sherry, I’m sorry any of us have to go through any of this…. but we do. None of us consciously chose to have this addiction in our lives…. and here it is! But the joy is, we are here, on this site, pushing through the pain of it, and dealing with it on a daily basis. Healing and learning and growing as we go! Life can just get better and better!!!
As for my "sydney-status"…… NO! I am not a ‘know-it-all on sydney’! haha. far from it! Like you, I’m coming up to my 40th, and i was 25 when i left sydney! So i haven’t a clue as to where you could go with Brea. However, being the same age as you, I know exactly the type of place youre talking about, so if I stumble across one (haha hopefully not literally) on my trip, I’ll let ya know!
Much love and light
meg xxx
"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Hi Kathryn
I’m smiling at your description of your nights with Jodi too. Sounds like me and my best friend… our sweet treat when we get together is mini cream filled chocolate eclairs! we can scoff a whole box in one sitting and her husband is usually horrified when he comes looking for one and they’re gone!!
Thanks for your tip-off for my sydney trip, about the baby elephant at the zoo! I was talking to (the same) best friend on the phone yesterday about something completely unrelated, and i suddenly blurted out "oh and we have to go to the zoo in sydney coz theres a baby elephant!"…. there was silence…then she laughed! … You see, she would’ve been LESS surprised if I’d said…’can we go night-clubbing and dance all night?’ (she doesn’t drink, but I like my vino! and I like to boogie) LOL.
We agreed we’d try and fit in the zoo, with the shopping, and the cafes and bars (seriously, i think we’ll give the nightclubs a miss! I’m not as young as I was when i last partied in sydney haha). I cant wait.
Where would we be without our girlfiends!!!? We have been best friends since we were 11, and I truly know there is nothing we couldn’t face together! Sounds like you and Jodi are much the same. What a blessing they are.
I love reading your posts kathryn. You are finding so many positives, and even on your darker days you are on here offering support and wisdom to others!
I know it must be difficult awaiting the DNA results, but you know it will be what it will be, and you will be able to deal with it. The whole experience will add to your insight and wisdom and serve to give you even more strength in the future!
Much love and light to you
Meg
"We are each of us angels with only one wing… we can only fly by embracing each other"Haha, this is reminiscent of your very first post on this thread!!!
Kind of like, I open my mouth to speak…….and nothing comes out! (you can bet that doesn’t happen often with me!!! LOL)
Sorry, I seem to have the computer gremlins on this site this week Grrrr!
Anyway… I was posting to say, YAY sounds like you had a fab weekend with your man in sydney – and gamble-free!
Go-Girl! You show such determination in your posts Kathryn, and I have no doubt as to how you inspire others. A wise old friend recently said to me, when we were talking about life stuff, achievements and ‘progress’, that "..if it wasnt hard work – then it probably wasn’t worth it". It seemed like a simple no-brainer comment to me until i thought about it a bit more. It relates pretty well to recovery for all of us (RCGs and F&F too). Achievement doesnt come without some commitment to hard work, and you’re putting in the work!
I just found out I’m off to Sydney next month too! My beautiful best friend has just shouted me a trip, just the two of us (NO KIDS!) for 5 days. I lived there for a few years, infact it was where i met my CG, so it’ll be a trip down memory lane. I cant wait!
Hope you’re recovering from your house full of guests!
Much love and light
MegHi
Hi Kathryn
Thanks for your lovely reply on my thread. I was delighted to read it, though saddened that you would feel that you are not ‘worthy’ to post in F&F… or that you are ‘the baddie’. Please don’t feel like that, you have so much insight to offer.
As the ex-partner of CG I am always pleased to see posts from RCG’s like dek and vera (among others) on the family and friends pages, because they are open, honest and frank. They often say things that i would like to post but i sometimes feel if I said it, it would/could come across as bitterness (because i am the ex partner of a CG). So if you feel like popping in…. please do! This site is an AMAZING community (unlike any i have come across on the internet), and we can all learn from each other.
ALL of us on this site are in recovery of some form or other. As partners/family/friends of CG, our recovery involves having to face the hard honest truth of the illness that affects our lives. Many of us are in our own form of denial. The reason we come here is to get perspective. Your input ( and the input of others from ‘journal’ ) adds to that perspective.
Kathryn you should be mighty proud of your 44 days! And given the added challenges the universe has sent you at this time you are proving that you are made of strong stuff…. (even if you dont quite feel it just now)
sending you a big cyber-high-five! (LOL)
Love and light
Meg
‘The will of God will never take you, where the grace of God will not protect you’HI kathryn
I just wanted to pop in here and say hi to you. I read and post regularly in F&F, but i also read in journal frequently too.
We both found this site about the same time, and i, like you, am so grateful to have found it. I feel honored to have the privilege of meeting so many open-minded, caring and supportive individuals. I love the replies and the support that you offer others in the threads i have i read, and that prompted me to read your whole story.
Wow. What a journey you have had, and what a journey you are on. I am in awe of what you have been/are going through… and you have continued to write such incredibly positive supportive stuff to others who are ‘in need’, at a time when you would have been totally forgiven for focussing totally on yourself!
Hey chook. You are one awesome lady, and you you are made of strong stuff.
I have not been through what you are going through, but i’ve had some experiences of my own…and i agree whole-heartedly with your best friend – everything happens for a reason! This is some incredible (and obviously painful) journey you are on just now… so just imagine what incredible (and wonderful) things may come of it!!!!? My favourite saying is "there is no growth, without pain" (in other words….what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger right?! LOL).
One is left thinking that your ‘higher power’ is propelling you forward at a great speed, knowing, full well, there are many great achievements instore for kathryn….
Well done on your recovery to date. Much respect to you for ‘keeping it together’ to get through this DNA test scenario.
Please keep posting.I will continue to follow your journey and i’ll be cheering you on too.
Much love and light to you
Meg
‘The will of God will never take you, where the grace of God will not protect you’