[Meghna83]

We need to have the resolve not to gamble. Make the promise to ourselves we won’t gamble. And we need to believe and remind ourselves daily that yesterday was possible not to gamble so today and tomorrow can be the same. We choose whether to gamble or not. It is in our control. It is a choice. Today I will not gamble and tomorrow I willl not gamble. I say that with conviction  

[Meghna83]

I will not gamble today

[Meghna83]

Also murr please keep coming on this forum everyday, you will realise it will keep you in check. It will ensure you are alert and accountable and won’t slip back into thinking gambling is intelligent and the right choice for you. Gambling is not safe nor will you ever win against it.

[Meghna83]

Hi 

I feel for you as I have found myself in the same cycle of win win and then losing a lot more. To be honest what I lose is my peace of mind and my dignity

murr you have done so well so far and please don’t lose hope.  Trust that you have the power to overcome this. When we log onto a gambling website we open ourselves up to the risk of losing and losing big (in our cases) you and I both gamble big so the chance of us losing a lot is greater.

gambling controls us Murr, we are not in control when we chose to gamble. Let’s not keep throwing ourselves in the way of fire.

i believe in you murr. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you to build. Let’s not give these online sites our time or energy 

I think your trigger is spendin. You spend a lot and then want to get it back again as fast as you spent it. Perhaps try to budget. Spend what you can afford and start saving. It will grow i promise

gambling is is not an intelligent or safe way of getting money

it will leave you with pain, sleepless nights, guilt, anxiety and debt

i relapsed recently too murr and lost £3,990. I’m about to go on holiday and now have to carry this weight with me. It wasn’t worth it. It was a terrible choice I made.

today is my day 3 GF. We can stop this murr. We can. Have faith and begin your new life without gamblinG.

we have fallen again and again. But we will beat This !

[Meghna83]

Thanks for your comments. I think I used the wrong tense there. I fell again, again and again but I will not lose hope. Today is my day 2 GF and I will not gamble 

[Meghna83]

Today is my day 2 GF and I will not gamble!

Happy GF day to everyone

[Meghna83]

I would say the same. Calculating my losses and thinking about amounts doesnt help me. I also feel horrified about the CG part of me losing grip of the large amounts I play with. I feel very very uncomfortable about it 

[Meghna83]

Thanks RG 

I appreciate it. 

Meg 

[Meghna83]

I have restricted my access to funds again and will begin again. I will not give up on my recovery

I will fall again and again and again but I will pick myself up each time with positivity and a drive to kick this insidious habit. This is my journey, my recovery and I will take each step in my own way, as others have done (Many successfully) to aid my recovery.

This is my Day 1. I will not gamble today

[Meghna83]

Hi RG

thanks for your advice though your reflection of “The amounts you are losing are breathtaking to me” wasn’t helpful to hear. I’d rather such reactions are kept to yourself. I wouldn’t go and post such comments on someone’s thread, whether they lose £100 or £100,000.

some people bet less some more. Some have lost hundreds of thousands, homes, relationships whilst others much less. I thankfully have not got myself in debt nor lost my house or job. Yes I have a gambling problem like us all here and  dwelling on the amounts lost will not help me fight the problem, neither is listening to others ‘breathtaking‘ reactions.

I will tell my husband in my own time, when I am ready. We spoke yesterday about gambling and I suspect he knows I lost again by what we discussed. He helped me yesterday get away from my phone at night By taking it away. 

[Meghna83]

Registered to GameStop and deleted my bank app from my phone. I find ways to access my money and gambled. Feeling guilt ridden and sick of this problem I have

[Meghna83]

I relapsed today and lost £3990. Not feeling good at all

[Meghna83]

For me this platformis not enough on its own . There are times when I am on the brink of gambli, I post but don’t get an immediate response which leaves me still feeling the urge.

About your GF, I really think it’s a question of honesty. If from an early age you have learned to conceal, keep secrets, as you have shared about the zynga experience, this habit will only grow stronger If you allow it to. find ways that help you move away from the old ways that led you to gambling. Concealing your losses and continuing to let your closest person, whom you are living with, believe you have won‘t Bring about real change.

let me tell you this. Two or three days before I experienced that big loss of £20,000 plus, I texted my husband telling him I had opened a savings account for my then 6 month old babY. I had transferred £300 to the account. He replied with a loving message and said I was the brains of our couple and that he was so happy that one of us was good with the finances and that he felt less worried about our financial future because of that.

two days later I told him I had gambled away £20,000 in less than half an hour. A horrible blow to give and a definite fall from grace (For me)

I told him because:

I had to be honest. I couldn’t let him believe we had more money than we actually did ( because of my problem gambling) I didn’t have to because the account is in my name and the money was managed by me I.e I had the passwords and sole access to that account  

I needed help,I also didn’t trust myself and needed help managing my barriers. He was the only one who could help me with those.

I felt immemse guilt and needed to talk it through with my best friend (my husband)

 

[Meghna83]

Hi, First well done for reaching out on this forum You have lost a lot and I would say that this point in time *****ing your losses will make you feel worse. It seems that the more you ***** he more desperate you are to quickly ‘win’ back those losses.

You have a real gaming problem and the gambling has taken control. I lost £20,000 within half an hour on slots. I stopped for a week or so after that happened as I was in shock but soon gambled after that losing around £8,000 in total (give or take) Right now I do not have any urges to gamble and have come to a point where I can’t afford anymore losses. I think that refraining from gambling will help us. Playing again and again will only keep the habit alive and create a stronger habit.

Please don’t rule out therapy, we have to be serious about stopping (not half in) Make a fresh start and let go of losses. If we don’t, our losses will only grow in number over time. You spend hours and days playing and that habit will take time to kick.

I have put many barriers in place now, including handing my bank cards over to my husband. I also told him about my first big loss and  my urges to gamble during that time. 

If your family and gf think you have $30k you should consider being honest with them. That may create problems for you later. You need someone to support you through this and help you put barriers in place as You are early on in your recovery 

Good luck and please keep posting 

[Meghna83]

“you can have it all – just not all at once.” Thank you RG

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