[Meghna83]

Hey murr,

How are you?

[Meghna83]

Life throws so much at us. Work personal relationships, bills, children. Add gambling to the mix… chaos, confusion, anger, hate, on repeat, in a loop. Losing your head.

 Happy that I’m off work for the holidays. Going to Paris on Wednesday with my friend who just passed her Phd. Looking for gift ideas that aren’t too pricey. Anyone have any ideas?

[Meghna83]

Really clearing up and organising the house. There was a heatwave In London the day before last and it made me realise just how little I am able to do in that kind of heat.

So nice to see my baby up and about. Less strain on my arms and I get to watch her from a distance. I have given up a lot having her but have gained so much more.

No thoughts of gambling and happy to be more emotionally stable compared to Before.

[Meghna83]

Hi Stuart,

I really think that you have lost a lot to actually now draw a line under it all and say “no more”

Perhaps involve someone close to you, a friend or family member. Transfer your bonus to their account for now or invest in a long term project which doesn’t allow you to withdraw money short term.

Believe in yourself, you really don’t have to take more blows before you get to the point where you just have to stop. Make that stop point now. I really have faith that if you take each day at a time, seriously refraining from gambling, you can kick the habit.

I lost about £30,000 41 days ago ( between May and June) that was my last straw. My wake up call

No more

[Meghna83]

Hello,

Well done for reaching out on this forum 

I am not sure if you are acknowledging that you have a gambling problem or actually summing up ‘wins’ and losses and considering whether you actually have a gambling problem and have lost a lot (compared to other people)

You wrote:

“All in all, I know this doesn’t sound terrible compared to some of the stories I have read on here, but long term debt is still causing me a degree of worry.“

I think the first step is to admit to ourselves that we have a problem and make a decision to stop

The fact that you are on this forum tells me that you do feel you have a gambling problem. You lost more money to gambling than you can afford. That is why you wrote

“I recently took a personal loan that was primarily needed to replace our combined savings for the bathroom – which I lost gambling.”

I find making statements about the damage gambling has done and my actions to remedy my situation , like “I will never gamble again as it is destructive” or “I cannot afford to gamble and lose money” helps me admit that my actions were wrong for me and Reinforce the idea that gambling damaged my life in many ways . 

I think comparing how much i have lost to others doesn’t help me. I lost more than I could afford and that is what has ultimately made me say “no more” and “ I am a problem gambler and so I will never gamble again!”

You wrmore: 

“As it stands, i am not in a terrible position, but I fear that I am on a self-destructive path which I won’t leave until I hit rock bottom. I still have a feeling that I will gamble at some point soon to make back those recent losses.”

In a way you are in a bad position as you are contemplating gambling again to recoup losses. Believe me if you do, you will end up losing so much more in  short space of time. Please accept the losses. if you say to yourself “ I think i will gamble again…” then you will End up gambling. Allowing those thoughts into our minds, keeping the door open will most probably lead to more gambling and more damage.

I lost thousands in minutes and I am not in debt and still have a healthy bank balance. But I was in big trouble and in danger of losing every penny I had As well as my own health and sanity. I am still in recovery and do not take my GF days for granted. I still come on here as much as I can and know that I am always vulnerable to this destructive activity. 

please say to yourself, I hVe lost more than I could afford to lose and I will never let gambling take A penny more. You and I deserve to be free of its toxic consequences 

[Meghna83]

Hi Murr,

It’s great that you are in a much better place mentally and can look back and see how horrible gambling had made your life.

I too read some posts earlier and identified with so many of the emotions others expressed; regret, confusion, anger, fear. I too look back and realise what a nightmare I had lived and how much money I lost as a result of gambling. 

I admit that I still feel sad about how much money I lost because I still have so many goals I need to fulfil and many of those are dependent on money. 

It is day 40 for me and I am feeling much clearer in my head. I am so much closer to my baby and husband now and I feel he has found me more stable and happier than previously.

Congrats to you too for steering clear of gambling. I guess you are very sociable and enjoy spending money doing things with friends. It can’t be a bad thing if it helps you move on from the old ways. Just be aware of the money you owe. Try to chip away at it in parallel. debt free by December? That’s brilliant, well done for putting in the hard work and it will payoff. 

So glad we are both on the same path and really rooting for us. Really optimistic about looking back next year at our initial posts, when we have restored the money we have lost, and giving each other a huge pat on the back for sticking to our recovery and having faith in ourselves to put things right.

Onwards and upwards friend

Meg 

[Meghna83]

Not coming on so much since holidays have started. It’s day 40 for me. It doesn’t sound much but feels like it’s a looong way away from where I was 40 days ago.

My head no longer wants to waste the hard earned money I have .

I feel more in control

[Meghna83]

Today I learned that I am not an addict or a gambler- I am a person who has been mAking unhealthy behavioural choices.

I learned that I have a choice .

I learned that an urge lasts about 20 minutes. If I choose to do something else during this time it will pass.

I learned that If I choose to make an unhealthy choice it impacts on my hierarchy of values – I might consider my health or my family as number one on this hierarchy but when I choose an unhealthy behaviour I am putting the behaviour above everything else in on my list. I am compromising my hierarchy of values .

Thank you I. D. I

[Meghna83]

Giving advice or listening and sharing with others in the same boat, when you are on the path to recovery yourself, is so rewarding

1. It reinforces your beliefs and positive mindset to quit
2. Reminds you that each hour in the day staying Gf was once a struggle. Previously Not knowing if you’d get through even a few hours without gambling. Now it’s like counting easily off the calendar without a second thought
3. Shows that you can make a positive difference to someone else’s life by sharing your recovery strategies but also the habits that led to your own failures which others can avoid

Thank you everyone

[Meghna83]

Believe in yourself because it is YOU alone who will need to tread this path. It’s a long process but a very rewarding one. You will get that confidence and strength back as soon as you have the courage to say “no more!”

Though it seems like youre in a loop of gambling and regret, it CAN stop. It starts with saying to yourself “this will stop. I will not spend another penny on this destructive habit!” And it is a habit, a fast moving, toxic habit that makes us become zombies, slaves to a money making scam. Those so called wins were not wins. Ask your rational self, did I actually benefit financially from it or am I at a loss?

Take one day at a time to focus on your recovery. Open upto your wife because she needs to know what you are facing and will help you to put obstacles in your way to stop you from gambling 

ultimlately, it starts with yourself, YOU actually wanting to stop and placing obstacles in place, including transfering your salary to a close one’s account until you have had enough GF days to think rationally about this habit. Stopping will allow you be clear of the haze that gambling creates and really look good and hard at your financial situation, your life and yourself. It’s only then that you can repair, rebuild and find peace of mind.

You will find yourself again. Make today a gamble free day. Make yourself a promise that you will not gamble anymore and focus on each day to make that happen. Those GF days will add up to finally put you in a better place than you are in right now.

[Meghna83]

 I must admit that for me it was always the money. I want more of it. This is my Achilles heel. i gave money too much importance 

[Meghna83]

Hi taz,

Where you go from here…

though it seems like youre in a loop of gambling and regret, it CAN stop. It starts with saying to yourself “no more!” 

Take one day at a time to focus on your recoverY. Open upto your wife because she needs to know and will help you to put obstacles in your way to stop you from gambling 

but it starts with yourself, you actually wanting to stop and placing obstacles in place, including transfering your salary to a close one’s account until u have had enough GF days to think rationally about this habit. 

Stopping will allow you be clear of the haze that gambling creates and really look good and hard at your financial situatio, your life and yourself. It’s only then that you can repair, rebuild and find peace of mind 

I wish you many many more GF days 

[Meghna83]

I like what kin wrote earlier today. I too do not have money to lose on gambling. I cannot afford it. I am receiving emails from gambling sites despite being on GamStop. Even ones I am banned from send me emails I don’t like to see the names of the sites. It make me remember past gaming which I find throws me a little. Luckily GamStop is helping me steer clear

[Meghna83]

Well done Murr

you will look back a year from now at this moment and thank yourself for just letting it pass without doing anythimy that woupdate have made it worse

[Meghna83]

So tired from work. Fell asleep in the other room after shutting my eyes. My baby was asleep at the time. Never have I dozed off into such a deep sleep like knocked out by pills. Woke up to a screaming baby, she’d fallen off the bed. Horrible fear and guilt whilst picking her up, dazed and unaware of my surroundings. Fatigue…

Baby is ok now but never will I leave her alone whilst asleep. She’s crawling now so can move off at any time.

No gambling to add to it all. Thank you god

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