[Meghna83]

Day 50

I reached today thanks to the support of many on this forum and the threads that were written for people like me to read.

My husband and baby are really my main motivation to overcome this hurdle in my life. I am so blessed to have them, a roof over our heads, food and good health. That’s all I dreamt of back in 2016 when my 8 year relationship ended and I drove back to London.

I am in a much better place compared to April this year.

[Meghna83]

Hi Murr,

So good to hear from you. So good to hear those GF numbers going up. 

You will be debt free, keep going as you are and your target of being debt free by your 30th will definitely happen.

I was a little worried when you were gone for a bit but I guess you use your threat if and when you need to. I tend to log on everyday, it’s a reminder for me to steer clear of G.

What you said about money coming and going really helps me settle my mind. I truly believe that. I’ve always been impatient and finally at this stage in my life I realise that patience was something I did not give importance to. If I had been patient with my life and the people in it, I would have caused myself less pain. 

Now I will always allow time to show me how life can really pleasantly surprise me! 

I do think we are both in a much better place from when we first posted.

Thanks so much for your support and positivity 

[Meghna83]

Amir,

i reread this just now and i admit it was one of the most useful posts I have had on my thread. It speaks honesty and kindly 

It really comforted me reading it and helped me maintain my focus

thank you

[Meghna83]

Day 49

[Meghna83]

Thank you liz,

amen 

[Meghna83]

My honest advice to You is get out of the relationship. It’s early days and if he can steal from you and fall behind on rent money, think About what might happen in the future. He also lied to you from the outset, not telling you that he’s a CG

You are not stuck. You are just in a difficult position. It is you that can resolve your probleM. If you are falling out of love and feeling as though his actions are not making you happy or fulfilled with the realitionship then I guess you have your answer. 

[Meghna83]

Things are much much better. Life is enjoyable and my baby brings out the best in me

[Meghna83]

He was shocked, angry and then quiet. But he began to understand what led me there and he helped me put obstacles in the way of gambling. The best thing he did was reassure me that I could stop and never reminded me of what I’d done. Rather he said he had faith in me and that we’d get back on track financially.

his belief in me was a wake up call. I know that if I wanted to I could lie and hide from him, even argue my way out of it as it was ‘my money’ ( in my personal account) but I realised I had to save me from myself. The impulsive CG self. Otherwise i would lose everything including my sanitY. I have a baby now and I just couldn’t afford to take the path of self destruction ( and their destruction too as what I do affects them)

[Meghna83]

You did the right thing coming on here to record your relapse.

If I recall the first time I said no more, I repeatedly gambled

Believe me it will only get worse if you don’t stop. 

You deserve better. Draw a line under the losses and look to the here and now and what you can do to stop

You will not get the money back by gambling 

[Meghna83]

Hi Anna,

RG has given you some really useful suggestions as I have myself used some of those to stop myself from losing all the money I have saved.

I cut up cards, deleted banking apps, included hubbys name on account. Told him about my losses and problem. It was a blow admitting the damage I had done to my confidence, self esteem and the trust that I built in my relationship. 

However from where I am at now, I am so relieved I did all those things. I rewarded myself yesterday when I was in Paris with a handbag and though I felt a little guilty, I reminded myself that 1. I restarted work early due to my gambling 2. I have not gambled for nearly 2 months!

You can stop too. Believe you deserve better. Let the losses go. Have faith that you can control your actions and stop gambling once and for all. 

You can’t afford to lose another penny

[Meghna83]

Hi murr Please let us know how your are getting along 

Meg

[Meghna83]

Scary to think I lost so much money on this madness

Never again!!!

[Meghna83]

I did something stupid yesterday but luckily didn’t gamble

Paris tomorrow

Gambling destroyed my year, delayed my future plans and knocked my confidence

Never again

[Meghna83]

Hello R, You don’t have to omit any of it but rather share your story honestly. Please seek some counselling if you are having suicidal thoughts. Today may seem bleak but it won’t last. Things will only get better for you when you decide to stop gambling. You haven’t lost your life , money doesn’t matter when you are still living and breathing.

Have faith

[Meghna83]

Lizbeth, where you live sounds like paradise. I wish one day I find myself resting in a place like that.

About never living the gamblers life again, I really hear you with that. I feel the same way. I really do not ever want to find myself there again.

Well done for going over 6 months gamble free. You really have shown me that it is possible.

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