[Meghna83]

This is a beautiful post kin 

thank you for that perspective 

[Meghna83]

‘My journey does not end with a slip or relapse. Slip and relapse was a part of my learning and growing process, they are a sign that I was not doing something right or correctly, they are a sign that I need to change. I intend to soldier on until the last day of my life.’

These words and in fact your posts calm me and give me a sense of hope

thank you 

meg

[Meghna83]

Murr I miss your presence and contributions on here. Please let us know how you’re doing at this tough time x

[Meghna83]

Thank you IDI.

🙂

[Meghna83]

I thought I would put this on my own thread to remember my journey.

I am still coming on GT to read.

I found myself in a difficult position so many times. My triggers are playing games (non g) like Tetris excessively. They seem to remind me of the ‘highs’ of G.

Unfortunately my other trigger is when my bank balance looks healthy and I start thinking about purchasing a house somewhere. 

After my holiday in the states and my love of the life out in Florida, I found myself calculating money again and wanting to accelerate the process of saving for that dream home (in Florida this time). Some of my family live out there and when I was there I felt at home and extremely well as I had when I lived in Aix-en-Provence. That dream still exists 🙂 and I will have to be a lot more patient and hardworking to realise it.

I Think about the tremendous efforts I have put into my recovery and all the positive that has come out of it. G thoughts come and go, some stronger than others but my barriers are solid and will help me in a big way.

After my episode of depositing money in my hubby’s account, I shut down that account and transferred the entire balance to a savings account which doesn’t allow any internet transfers nor issues any cards for purchases. I felt a great sense of relief as I know that money is ‘safe’ from G (at least).

 

The boredom that may have triggered the relapse is now being addressed. I signed up to an échange linguistique  site and have found some people I converse with in French and English via watsapp and voice calls. It has really evoked the amazing experiences I had whilst living abroad and reminded me of the great efforts I put in to adapt to living and working abroad (including learning a third language). I lived frugally and was very happy. I have a good foundation to build on and I realised that those skills have lay dorment for the past 4 years. Well not anymore!

[Meghna83]

Thank you IDI for your kind words. I read your message and forgot to respond with everything that has been going on around us.

I am still coming on GT to read.

You are doing extremely well and conscious of the G thoughts. I found myself in your position so many times. My triggers were playing games (non g) like Tetris excessively. They seem to remind me of the ‘highs’ of G.

Unfortunately my other trigger is when my bank balance looks healthy and I start thinking about purchasing a house somewhere. 

After my holiday in the states and my love of the life out in Florida, I found myself calculating money again and wanting to accelerate the process of saving for that dream home (in Florida this time). Some of my family live out there and when I was there I felt at home and extremely well as I had when I lived in Aix-en-Provence. That dream still exists 🙂 and I will have to be a lot more patient and hardworking to realise it.

Think about the tremendous efforts you have put into your recovery and all the positive that has come out of it. G thoughts come and go, some stronger than others but your barriers are solid and will help you in a big way.

After my episode of depositing money in my hubby’s account, I shut down that account and transferred the entire balance to a savings account which doesn’t allow any internet transfers nor issues any cards for purchases. I felt a great sense of relief as I know that money is ‘safe’ from G (at least).

 

The boredom that may have triggered the relapse is now being addressed. I signed up to an échange linguistique  site and have found some people I converse with in French and English via watsapp and voice calls. It has really evoked the amazing experiences I had whilst living abroad and reminded me of the great efforts I put in to adapt to living and working abroad (including learning a third language). I lived frugally and was very happy. I have a good foundation to build on and I realised that those skills have lay dorment for the past 4 years. Well not anymore!

Keep posting and updating us on your journey 🙂

[Meghna83]

Momo I have been following your posts and had wondered how you were since the last entry you made.

I am a compulsive gambler myself and only realised it last year when I lost a lot of my savings following having my first child. Before that, gambling was not part of my life. I was a good saver and my husband trusted me with our finances (rightly so at that time)

I felt your pain with every word you wrote about your struggles financially and emotionally as a wife and mother and individual . I pray that God answers your prayers and directs you in your search for freedom from your struggles. I hope your children can be a comfort to you and realise what a strong and wise woman you are. I hope they can, one day, help you be free of your husband who is clearly causing you immense pain.

Suicide is never an option and please please let that pass as you would a horrifying thought which crosses one’s mind. Your life can be and will be beautiful. “This time shall pass” believe that. Each day will be different. Change will come and hopefully for the better. Please give your life a chance it deserves.

I wish there was something I could do to alleviate your pain and help you. It might sound strange from a recovering CG. I know the damage gambling can do and I wish to never deny the damage I did and the danger that gambling puts me and my family in. I have two babies myself and the shame and regret I feel is overwhelming, to this very day. I never wish to gamble again and pray that god keeps my mind at peace and away from G.

Please keep posting and letting us know what you are thinking and feeling. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you 

Meg 

[Meghna83]

Takk Vera xxx

[Meghna83]

Hvala Vera xxx

[Meghna83]

Obrigado Vera xxx

[Meghna83]

Благодаря ти Вера ххх

[Meghna83]

Köszönöm Vera xxx

[Meghna83]

Thank you Vera xxx

[Meghna83]

Спасибо Вера ххх

[Meghna83]

Tack Vera xxx

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