[maverick.]

Lauren, Firstly thanks for sharing I hear and feel your pain I honestly do, your title made me smile “groundhog day” because the amount of times I have used that phrase you wouldnt believe and like you say if we keep doing the same things over and over the days are exactly the say “groundhog day” years ago a very wise man said to me “if nothing changes then nothing changes” I thought yes whatever but over the years that saying has stuck with me and I know understand it………..if I slip up and gamble when I am in my recovery then ok dont panic but I need to address why and change something, Just glad you are here and shared with us, plenty of helpful people around here, keep sharing and read the forums its good for the soul, take care and wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth keep fighting my friend, one day at a time staying away from that evil addiction that we both know could kill us if we let it, always nice to read your posts whatever frame of mind you are in, you are here……because you want to be here………and I am glad you are here………take care, stay strong and keeping smiling…….”we can do whatever we want because we are free”

All my very best

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kathryn,

So very sorry to hear about your niece I truly hope everything works out the very best it can, you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hope the camping trip went well and I hope you managed to get some relaxing time………its nice to get away from it all, relax and let the mind wonder into nice places, anyway just wanted to wish you well and let you know I was thinking about you are yours, also hope your boy has fully recovered from being ill…….kids cause us alot of stress trust me I know to well but in fairness they also bring us alot of love and happiness!

Take care and all my very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth hope you have a wonderful game free day and enjoy seeing your family, gambling makes us blind we think we have nothing but in truth we have it all, with regards to employment its just like life Lizbeth “what will be will be” and something will come up when you least expect it.

Take care and look after yourself, will always wish you well .

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth,

So sorry for the late reply, also really sorry to hear of your ongoing struggle, Its really tricky to advise where to go and what to do, could you seek independent advice to find out the best way forward ? financialy I mean…….ie your car, your house, like you say you need somewhere to live………I know is tough but try and stay positive it always helps to be in that mind set, I will post again later as out and about and not at home, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

Take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth I am out hardly any reception……having a nightmare and your last post popped up……please if you get this…..sit…..think……look out the window and see the good…..I promise to get to a computer and reply with the next few hours……thinking of you my friend.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth, Laura, I did it and Kathryn thank you all for your support means alot, I had a doctor’s appointment today that I booked on Friday as knew things were getting out of hand and in truth believe I need some counciling, being honest the only good thing that came out of that appointment is I found my blood pressure to be sky high and they have referred me to specialist regarding it was 195 over 165 whatever that means the Doctor said it should be below 135 over 85 anyway in fairness it dosent surprise me it’s that high with everything going on at the moment but hey at least I know and can work on it, just purchased a blood pressure machine to keep a very close eye on it and see If I can bring it down (something I couldn’t have brought whilst gambling like I have done in the past) as for the counciling I will persuse that privately as the Doctor wasn’t very helpful on that side (and didn’t suprise me as from my personal experience seems to be the norm) anyway just wanted to update quickly and must get myself back to work.

Kathryn it has effected the kids massively as I am sure it would anyone but they are doing really well, my girl seemed more effected than my boy but in fairness he is older and also like me good at hiding his feelings, they are doing really well and in fact it’s probably just me falling apart at the moment I think itso the after shock of it all as when it is happening you just live off the nervous energy and adrenaline (not meaning gambling this time) I have faith and just need to get a grip of it all, it’s silly but everytime my wife says she is tired or has a pain I just think the worse………time will sort it I just know it will, take care and thank you once again for thinking of me means alot.

Just for today I will not gamble!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth thankyou very much from the bottom of my heart, take care and speak soon.

[maverick.]

I see its been a very long time since my last update and in truth I really don’t no where to start, at this exact point in life I think I am right on the line of a nervous breakdown, I have to be honest as in truth that’s all I have.

Since my wife’s near death experiance I have been working 24/7 looking after her and the kids and over these last 3 months I have let myself go big time, I used to be pretty fit and always got some exercise in when and where I could but this last 3 months I have put on 2 stone, no exercise at all, poor eating and just sheer letting myself go……. I really do need to get a grip of life and fast.

I am not sleeping well and keep having nightmares and flashbacks of that night my wife was in so much pain, I did everything I could for her but even still she was in agony and dying in front of me I just cant get those memories out of my head, I felt her pain but more than that I was totaly helpless in helping her I wanted to take all her pain and suffering and make her at peace.

This life I live at the moment is totaly screwed up, having a rough ride at work as focusing on my family more and work are not sympathetic at all, havent got much family support as in truth they are all on there last legs.

Lee why are you moaning? plenty of people worse off than you my friend………………..I know very true just in a bad place, I need to get a grip and bloody fast if I do all will be well I know it will and if I dont well I just dont know.

Thanks for listening and really sorry to vent just at a totaly loss as where I go from here, just for today life is only just manageable.

Take care and wish you all well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Indeed God does my friend indeed God does, always good to see you around Sherrie and will always wish you well, take care and all my very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kathryn that new room you have planned in my mind looks amazing, fair play to you my friend you have always been someone I have followed and will always wish you well, take care and hope you had a wonderful day in your celebrations today, take care and always be sure to look after yourself.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Cornish Lass well done on posting and sharing on here that’s a massive first step, read the forums and other people’s journals and you will see you are not alone, stay strong and keep sharing good or bad it helps, this addiction is a total nightmare but there is light at the end of the tunnel I can promise you that wish you well and take care.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth please forgive my short post, I sent it and thought to myself I spent hours and hours gambling and always made time for that and my conscience told me to be a better man.

Walking is very good for the soul, it’s nice to walk and also observe what’s going on around you sometimes I like to walk at a slow pace and take it all in…….while working I always seem to he at 100mph, it’s amazing what we notice if we slow things down and take the time. Your garden sounds lovley let me know when that veg has grown and I will get myself round their lol.

Music is also good for the soul and I listen to various types often, I wish you well my friend and hope today treats you fair, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth so glad to hear you are doing well and I love reading your posts, sorry was only passing by but just wanted to say hello and wish you well, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kathryn it’s so nice to see you here and also see you posting, you are a lovery person with a very kind soul, look after yourself my friend you really are priceless, always wish u well and speak soon.

Maverick

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