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Lizbeth, like you rightly say keeping busy in any way, shape or form helps us to fill the time other than spending it gambling, really good to read your post and keep up the great effort and enjoying life, take care and wish you well.
Maverick
Feeling drained, temptation everywhere, many gambling thoughts but havent acted on them, must stay away from that first bet, just for today I will not gamble.
Maverick
Magclin, keep sharing and posting how you feel, this addiction can be so strong and at times there seems like there isnt a way out, we just have to keep fighting and working hard at beating this addiction as always one day at a time, focus on the good things my friend like your family……..I know it may be tough at the moment and trust me I know the web of lies and broken promises we tell to try and cover up what we have done, we can get better and life does get better trust me but it doesnt while we still have gambling in our life.
I wish you well in your recovery and life, from a fellow compulsive gambler, when I gamble I cannot stop no matter what……..thats why I must stay away from that first bet, if I make that first bet again I know I will lose everything because it has happened so many times before.
Hope you have a good gamble free day and look after yourself.
Maverick
Fritz, always good to read your posts my friend and even better to hear you are gambling free and living life a free spirit as anyone should, you are very knowledgeable and your shares are from the heart and that what makes them so true, so many people can relate in exactly the same way, keep yourself on the right track my friend and as always thanks for sharing.
Wish you all the very best in your recovery and life, take care and have a great weekend.
Maverick
Izzi, I read your words, understand your concerns and listen to your heart, the only way “this disease will render you alone for ever and ever” is if things don’t change, many people over the years have said to me “if nothing changes then nothing changes” I take it in and understand what they are trying to say, just for today you are not alone and you are making your life better and better as each gamble free day ticks on, I promise you this……..if we work hard, stay gamble free then our lives honestly do get better and better as each day ticks by, the experiences we have had just make us stronger if we choose to learn by our mistakes.
Take care Izzi and please never feel you are ever alone, life honestly does get better, wish you well and all the very best in your recovery and life.
Maverick
Seri, It is so good to hear you are gamble free and doing so well, keep doing what seems to be working for you and in fairness don’t worry about others for now, you are doing great and if you can continue to stay gamble free you already know how your life changes so very much for the better.
Take care and wish you well, always remember you must do whatever works for you, thanks for sharing and all the very best.
Maverick
Hope you have a wonderful weekend Ican, sounds like it should be lovely, take care and look after yourself, thanks for your support and kind words, hope your weekend is full of happiness.
Maverick
Last night I had dreams of gambling, very real very strong dreams, this morning I woke up and since then have had major urges to gamble, I know what the outcome will be and I really don’t won’t to gamble but on the flip side I have really strong urges and won’t to gamble, I thought I would share and write it down so I can look back on it and understand.
I have just made sure this past hour I have no money and no access to any money, I have just gone to the shop with my boy and brought a nice peace of pork, I am back home now just started cooking the family a roast dinner.
Life is full of temptation and at times I am very weak, I have gambled all my life since I was 14 years old and next week I turn 39 so I understand I will be tempted at times but I just have to thing the whole outcome through, the only outcome I have experienced when gambling is pain, suffering, hurt, depression, desperation, and many more bad emotions for myself but also for the people around me who care.
Anyway I am a compulsive gambler but just for today I am going to try my very best not to gamble, thanks for listening and wish each and everyone of you all the very best in the world.
Icandothis thank you from the bottom of my heart once again for getting started back on the right road…..the road to recovery.
Maverick
Just for today I didnt gamble,
Just for today I have a life worth living,
Just for today I did something good,
Just for today I didnt hurt anybody,
Just for today I followed my heart,
Just for today I didnt lie,
Just for today I didnt steal,
Just for today I cared about the consequences of my actions,
Just for today there was peace in my heart,
Just for today I had no hatred,
Just for today I loved everyone,
Just for today I could see my faults,
Just for today I was the real me.I wish each and everyone of you all the happiness in the world, I have lost so much because I am a compulsive gambler but I promise I have also learnt so much about myself and life, I cannot change what I have done (I wish I could) but what I can do is do the very best I can just for today and with that as long as I do it I am happy.
There is no perfect person in the world and I am far far from it but just for today I will be the best person I can.
Take care and thank you to whoever reads, listens, understands or relates, I wish you all well.
Maverick (Lee)
Female G, by the sounds of things you invested your money very wisely, food shopping, gas in the car, a few treats and dinner………..now that is what life is all about, the amount of times I have lost everything in a casino and had to walk miles home because I couldnt even keep the cab fare!!!!!! This addiction destroys lives (if we let it). Great positive share and it was a pleasure to read, really glad you are doing well and I know your not gambling will lead you to a place of happiness.
Take care and hope you have a great day.
Maverick
Keep your head up Mike, I have done the same many times, in the end I honestly believe I am now self excluded from every site online (I know and dont ask me), keep fighting the addiction and keep staying strong, you have had a slip up and now you know you are back where you really want to be, I am a compulsive gambler because when I start I cannot stop until I have nothing.
Take care and wish you well.
Maverick
Female G, thank you very much for your response it means a great deal to me, I hope you are keeping well and just for today gamble free.
I have been working hard and staying out trouble, had some nice time with the kids this weekend just gone, teaching my lad to play chess, doing his (sorry helping him) with his science homework, just spent some good quality time with them and it was enjoyable……..I look at them and think my they are growing fast, time is very precious let me always remember that.
I am tired but my mind is in a good place, just for today I will not gamble and with that I am very happy.
I wish each and everyone of you all the very best and hope you are getting the happiness you deserve, take care all and speak soon.
Maverick (Lee)
Dig deep Fritz, great job on your gamble free time you should be proud and keep fighting, hope you can cut down on the other two mate, I know sometimes our mind set is all or nothing, wish you well my friend, take care and look after yourself.
Maverick (Lee)
Thanks for the reply Vera, yes my wife knows about my gambling and has pretty much all the time I have gambled, she didnt know I was a compulsive gambler until I told her about 4 years ago and admitted I had a problem and she never really new to the extent it went, its probably no consalation but I have always provided for my wife and kids, always looked after them as best I could but have also caused the unneeded and unwanted stress and suffering.
My wife wont talk to others about it as in truth I think she is embrassed by me and I accept and understand that, I have shown her the friends and family section on here and said do whatever you need to do and tell me if I can do anything else to help apart from the obvious, I left her with that and for all I know she is in here sharing, at the moment we seem to be OK but life has alot of stress and at times (like everyone) people grow apart and thats when you have to make time and spend quality time together and basicly get to know each other again, the children need alot of time as they are 5 and 9 and I spend alot of time with them……………I have always spent alot of time with them but in truth if I havent of gambled for 24years I would have spent alot more time with many people, in truth I cannot change what I have done and it has made me the man I am today, I am happy with alot of me and not happy with the other 50% but hey life is a work in progress and as long as I dont gamble thats the major part of the bad gone……I must always remember that and hold onto that thought.
I love my wife and two children and always will (silly thing to say I know as I am sure everyone loves there partner and children) but I always tell them and make sure they know it, whatever I have done, whatever I am, I promise you I love and care about people and that is something I will always do, glad you stayed gamble free Vera and so really happy for you, after placing that first bet again I always feel ripped apart and soul destroyed……..even if that first one is a winning one I still feel sick because I know I have just stepped back on that same old rollercoaster……..you know the one I mean, the one that doesnt stop until you get right to the bottom and you end up crashing and causing you and everyone next to you alot of pain and suffering AGAIN……..just for today I will not gamble and with that I am so very happy.
My very best to each and everyone of you, I hope you are all doing well, and living gamble free one day at a time, there is always hope no mater how deep you are in, people who want to change, can change and do change, take care and speak soon.
Maverick (Lee)
Izzy, Its good to see you here, this addiction will take everything from us but you already know that, there are so many things I wish I could have changed and done differently but I cant change the past, we cant change what we have done, the past is in the past and we should try and let it stay there or it will haunt are future.
I believe things happen in life for a reason (I dont always know what the reasons are but thats what I believe) and sometimes we go through tough times in life and when we look back at it I also believe it makes us stronger/better people (as long as we learn from our mistakes), I am also a compulsive gambler and have lost enough money to feed a third world country for a year, I have also lost time, love, respect, trust, friendship, family, memories, jobs………………but just for today I work at getting it all back, well everything bar the money, I see the money lost as paying for experiances in life and in truth if we were not going to be in the world tomorrow what do we need the money for!!!!!!
Really well done on 3 weeks gamble free I know how hard it can be to stay gamble free for just one day, I hope you can learn to forget the past and start loving yourself, you are really young and have your whole life ahead of you, gambling destroys lives and no good will ever come from it……..I am said to say it took me many years to realise that.
My very best to you in your life and recovery, keep sharing and let people know how you feel, its good to get things out in the open, no one should judge………..you show me the perfect person and I will show you a liar.
Take care my friend and hope this finds you well.
Maverick (Lee)