[maverick.]

Happy new year P, hope you are keeping well and really hope 2016 is a great year for you, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Charles thanks always for your ongoing support and input it means a great deal, Female G likewise thank you very much for the reply it means a great deal to me, thank you to everyone who I have spoken with and shared with you are all a massive help in my life and in truth more than you could ever know, there are too many to name but you all know who you are anyone I have shared just one word with and in truth even people I haven’t shared with I draw hope from your inspirational posts, so to each and everyone of you I would just like to say thank you, happy new year and hope you all have a great 2016…………………if there was ever a reason to change and you needed a day to do it I couldn’t think of a better start date than 01.01.2016.

Take care and wish you all well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lorraine my friend, I dont know what to say but felt I had to reply to your pain……….when reading the last part of your post “Its okay God you can take me I’m ready” it brought tears to my eyes and thats the honest truth, how can things if life get that bad that we are ready to depart from the world willingly!!!

I have known you for a while Lorraine and you are a very good friend, life can be so very hard at times what with one thing and another and I know you have had more than your fair share of trouble, Lorraine this time my words of comfort I am sure will not be enough so I have searched long and hard, thinking how I can lift you my friend and I came up with this……….

When your day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
(Hold on, hold on)

Everybody hurts
You are not alone………………………I am your friend Lorraine so take comfort in me……………..

I also know God is a very good friend of mine although I do **** him off at times (not intentionally) and you know what…….I honestly believe when our time is up its up…..just for today God still wants you in this world and from what I can see quite rightly so………………

Everybody hurts sometimes………………………..
Stay strong Lorraine, dig deep and find just a little bit more…….I hate new years, always have, always will its just the way I am………..but tomorrow is a new year and who knows what it might hold for us……….all I can really say is I am glad that this year is nearly over and perhaps we can look forward to a new one………..after all it can’t be any worse…….can it…………..in truth life is what we make it, I have had a really rough year and thats putting the gambling to one side I just mean health wise and at times I have been so down, depressed, distraught, just before I went in for an operation in June I spoke to my wife and kids in a way that I might not ever see them again and that was a distinct possibility but in truth we can say that about everyday because we just never know what is going to happen to us or anyone.

Lorraine you are lovely person, a wonderful women, a very good friend and someone I have had the pleasure to share with for many years, you say it how it is and thats exactly how it should be said.

Always keep fighting and when you haven’t got the energy to fight then just rest……………while resting you are still fighting but just dont know it.

Happy new year Loraine and lets hope its a good one for us…….I have to be honest I have a good feeling.

If I could leave you now with a one liner it would be “listen to your heart and do whatever it tells you”

Take care my friend and will speak very soon.

Love from a true friend

Lee

[maverick.]

Today I gambled………………I have messed up once again and caused major financial and emotional damage I can live with my mess but I hate seeing what it does to the people I love yet I still do it time and time again………..sometimes I nearly give in I honestly do but I must find the strength to not only repair the damage I have done but to try the hardest I possibly can to make myself into a better man, I feel beat, drained and really ****** off with myself, just got out of hospital yesterday and went into stuipd distruction mode……..no need for it I just need to sort myself out, I am not in self pitty mode I am in kick my own arse mode and sort yourself out once and for all.

I am a compulsive gambler God I know that so I just cant gamble in any way shape or form……………………..just for today I give up but for tomorrow I will pick myself up and try and be the best man I can possibly be, sorry for letting myself and everyone else down, I dont know why I keep walking down the same road into the same pile off **** everytime……….just for today my only conclusion is I am a ****, the only consulation is my wife and kids had a great christmas because off not gambling I managed to sort everything out……………now because off gambling I have wreked everything and in for a bloody long January…………I have always hated the new year!!!!!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Just this moment I ask myself the question “have I learnt nothing”………………just for today I honestly answer I really dont know!

Maverick

[maverick.]

I just want to post to wish you all a very happy christmas, I really hope you all have a wonderful time over the next few days and send out my very best to each and every one of you.

I am a lucky man……..there is no doubt, I sit here tonight with my wonderful wife and my two wonderful children…….I cannot ask for anything else in the world………..I dont have much money but what I do have money can’t buy and please God let me always remember that…….just for today I do.

I lost a very good friend in May this year, he was only 5 years older than me and left a wife and two children 8 years and 5 years very similar ages to my two, my thoughts and heart go out to them as this is there first christmas without him, he is often in my thoughts as is his wife and children………………God rest his soul……….there is no doubt I am a lucky man and just for today I thank God for that.

Happy christmas all, stay strong, stay close to people who care and hope you all have a great christmas.

Thanks to all for your support, helpful words, kindness, truthfulness and just being around………it means a great deal to me, in truth more than I could ever put in words so to some it up………thankyou.

Take care and never give up, there are always people who care about us even if we dont know who they are.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Helpme,

First of all thanks for sharing, I promise you are not alone, you are still so very young and you can turn your life around now before it becomes to late…………I am 39 years old and have gambled since I was about 14 and believe me when I say it only gets worse if you keep heading down the same path………I cant or wont tell you what to do but when people who love you……..trust you look you in the eyes and their eyes speak to you and no lips move………..the eyes talk to me and say how could you have done what you have done I thought you loved me………….
This addiction takes everything if we let it……….its not to late so seek help and keep sharing…..there is always hope.

Wish you well

Maverick

[maverick.]

Velvet thankyou for your constant and ongoing support it really does mean a great deal to me, I have been many things in life and many of them I am not proud of, I work hard at getting my life back on track and being a good husband, a good farther, loving and sharing my life with the many people I love (in fairness like I should have always done in life) then you just get caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time and in the wrong situation……….life can just change in a blink of an eye……………we should always remember to live one day at a time and never take anything for granted.

Female G thanks for posting and sharing I am always keen and willing to listen to people, people sharing helps me live my recovery one day at a time.

Just for today I didnt gamble as for tomorrow I am sure I wont gamble but I dont know what else life has in store for me……….still sat on that rollercoaster but this time its a different ride!!!!!!!!

Wish you all well……”without hope we have nothing”

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks for your concern Vera you are a good women, life has been a nightmare over the last 2 weeks and it hasnt stopped yet……….one thing after another, tomorrow is going to be a massive turning point in my life for one reason or another I cant say to much for obvious reasons but cutting a long story short someone did something to my wife! And then I did something to that someone and now I am in alot of trouble………another one of my many character defects to top that I have been in and out of hospital with health issues and on top I can hardly walk at the moment…………what in the world is going on I just dont know!!!!!

Just for today I didnt gamble, I need to sort out a massive amount off stuff to just get mine and my families lives back on track and heading in the right direction…………I seem to always be able to cope with whatever has happened in life but at the moment I am really struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel…….

Thank you again Vera for thinking off me I really hope you are keeping well my friend and hope this finds you well, thanks to everyone for your ongoing support it really does mean alot, take care and wish you all well.

I will keep updating daily from now on as this site is a massive help in my recovery, speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks Charles and Ican, well I didnt keep my promise as you can see as I havent updated my thread daily, had some health problems so havent been at home, anyway just for today I will not gamble, take care and wish you all well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

TommyBell5,

First of all thanks for sharing , this addiction can and will take everything from us if we let it, we have to try as always “one day at a time” to stay strong and get the better of our addiction, I have gambled for around 25 years although have been in recovery trying to better my life for the last 4 years, even now I still slip up from time to time but that is because I am weak and not trying hard enough, I am a compulsive gambler and when I gamble I cannot stop till everything is gone, the only way I win is by not placing that first bet.

keep sharing how you feel and never give in, you are not alone and there is help around the only way it works is if we want it.

Take care and wish you all the very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks for your well wishes Vera, I really hope your lad turns up and hope you have a wonderful day, sounds like you have put alot of effort in, take care and speak soon, I am another year older today but am I any the wiser!!!!

Maverick

[maverick.]

JayB,

First off all thanks for sharing, at 20 years old you are so very young and have your whole life ahead of you, I turn 39 tomorrow and have gambled since I was 14, over those years I have lost hundreds of thousands I dont share this to sound like a big shot I share this to let you know what happens if we dont stop, I rent my house, rent my car, have nothing of any monetry value, declared bancrupt in 2014, stole to fund my addiction, have escaped prison by the skin off my teeth…………I cant tell you what to do but while I activley gamble I become someone I am not……….a non caring person who doesnt care who he hurts while in the grip off this addiction.

You are so very young my friend so please think hard and change the path your life is heading down, 9 grand is alot of money but trust me it only gets worse, in truth I cant believe how little I spend when I dont gamble and as each gamble free day ticks by we quickly start building a better life for ourselves.

Take care JayB and I wish you all the very best in your life and recovery.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks for the support FG, still fighting the urge as always one day at a time, just finished work after a long hard week, driving home and had very strong thoughts of going to have a gamble……I told myself dont be so stupid and go for a pint instead so here I am sitting by a warm log fire in a nice counrty pub having a chill out and a pint of cider……………beats throwing ££££££££ away any day of the week and I can live with spending £3.25 or even £6.50 if I stay for a second one, I am just sitting here thinking and reflecting on life tomorrow I turn 39 years old and was just thinking how things could have been different……..in truth we are born, we live our life and then we pass on, it happens to us all…..the only thing that maters in what we do in our lifetime is how we treat others, there are people everywhere doing different things working different jobs, leading different lives, looking after different people, God help me always remember not to be easily angered, be quick to listen and slow to speak and most importantly love everyone.

“I am not the best person in the world and in fact I am very far from it but I promise you I am not the worse”

As always thanks for listening, I wish each and everyone of you all the very best, I just want to say I have been thinking of a few people recently that I have lost touch with and want to send you all my very best and hope you are all keeping well, you will always hold a place in my heart for one reason or another and that I will share with you all when our paths next cross, so for Sherrie, Lorraine and Jay my thoughts are often with you and I hope you all have or will find the happiness you all deserve.

Take care and speak soon.

Maverick (Lee)

[maverick.]

So I thought long and hard about placing a bet today, I got the money, I had the time, I had the thought but I didnt want it enough………….meaning I thought the whole thing through, I may have won but then I thought even if I did win I would be back gambling again (on everything and anything) and by the weekend I know it would have all gone and any more I could have got my hands on gone with it, when I gamble I cannot stop so the only answer is not to gamble.

Today I wasnt at my best and havent been for a few days but I am still gamble free, I know I need to work on a few things to help keep my recovery going as always one day at a time and I will work hard at making myself a better person and a massive part of that is living a gamble free life.

Thank you for listening, reading and maybe understanding, I am very happy to be here sharing in my recovery and look forward to reading all your shares as always, wish you all well in your recovery and life, take care.

Maverick

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