[maverick.]

Stay strong female g and keep fighting, this addiction is a nightmare but there is light at the end of the tunnel as I am sure we both well know, keep sharing and keep working at it as always “one day at a time”, all we can ever do is try our best and with that we must be happy.

Hope you are doing ok today and as always I wish you well, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

My name is Lee and I am a compulsive gambler, just for today I wont gamble………

[maverick.]

I wake up many times at night, haven’t slept well for years, thoughts of gambling, thoughts of not gambling, unpaid bills, health issues, worry about my wife, kids, work, myself, I get up the early hours of the morning and think about gambling, do I have money, can I get money, what do I want to gamble on, am I going to gamble today, mind is racing 100 mph and trying to wind it down…………..my life is like 100 mph and I don’t stop and think not for a second, as the day wears on I obtain money, I gamble, I lose (I always lose because I can never stop…….thats why I am a compulsive gambler), I get annoyed…….with myself (justified)…….with others (unfairly) turn into someone I truly am not……..someone I hate, I feel ****, I get moody, mood swings, depressed but most of all bemused, why do I keep doing what I am doing, I drink……alot……..to much…….need to cut down, I drink to forget……….to help me sleep…….it works for a while but it’s not right…….it isn’t the answer, then I wake up many times in the night, feel **** and thoughts of gambling, how can I pay my bills, I have just lost even more money……….I lose it faster than the queen can print it, its not right………….., I know the answer, need to shake myself up and stay gamble free one day at a time, its the only way, I get feed up with sharing saying I have slipped up again, I am sure people think come on son get a grip of the situation…..slipped again, waste of space, in truth I don’t care what people think but I want to sort myself out, I need to sort myself out, I am a liar, thief (sort off), manipulator, hurtful, resentful, uncaring, angry, moody and depressed……..but only when I gamble!

I am a compulsive gambler and will always be one, just for today I did gamble but I walked away after my first bet (a loser) and still had money on me……..I am taking the wife out for a meal tonight and needed to keep that money as she deserves a nice night out she hasn’t had one for a while, I must be getting better because before I would have lost every penny and then some, just disappointed I made a bet, I have to and need to stay away from that first bet, I have just come home and gave my wife the money for the meal tonight so I don’t get tempted to go out and gamble.

I am not making a good job of life at the moment and I need to do a lot better, just for today I believe God is looking down and saying get a grip and sort yourself out you are better than this, I promise I am listening and I promise I will work on being a better man but just for today I messed up again!!!

Thank you for listening to my post, thanks for being here, sharing, caring and supporting, I wish you all the very best in the world in your recovery and also lives, thanks again for just being around.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Vera thanks for your kind words and support as always it means a great deal to me, really hope you are keeping well and well done on staying strong and not gambling, female G likewise thank you for your kind words and ongoing support, hope you are also doing well and staying strong, I wish you both all the happiness in the world, look after yourselves and take care.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lorraine I am really sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at the moment and just wanted to say I am thinking about you, I honestly hope you can get everything sorted one way or another, there is so much stress in life at times and if we are not careful it can bring us down, stay strong Lorraine and wish you all the very best as I always will, speak soon and take care of yourself.

Maverick

[maverick.]

There is always a circus very close by my friend as I am sure we all well know.

Take care riverdaleboy and stay strong I will share with you regarding friends and family over the next few days as always it will only be my opinion but I am always happy to share how I feel and how it honestly is.

Take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks for the reply riverdaleboy, I am sorry to hear off your loss over the gambling years, as we both well know this addiction can and will take everything if we let it!

I hope you get a place come up soon at Gordon Moody and hope you can turn your life around (I know you can and always remember it is never too late) we just have to keep fighting and moving our lives in the right direction, being a compulsive gambler doesn’t make us bad people but I know being a compulsive gambler makes me do bad things!!!!

Thanks again for posting and thanks for the kind words, its always nice to know someone is on the same wave length……..no mater what frequency that is!, I wish you all the very best in the world, take care and look after yourself.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Well obviously we are all here for a reason and that is just a fact of life, we all have the power to do whatever we want to do in life and that is also just a fact of life……………..are people generally good or are people generally bad………..now that is a matter of opinion, in my honest opinion we can all be good and we can all be bad (as all of us well know) so is it a case of doing more good than bad in our life…………….I think so, so why do we do bad things………………who knows, I have never classed gambling as a “bad thing” as such, the consequences off my gambling lead to many “bad things” all created from me of course and in turn cause a domino effect ending up in a world of pain (can I add every time I decide to make that first bet) so this is a cycle………….and if I choose to gamble again I complete the wheel in this cycle and it starts again…………..I have heard of the term vicious circle…………….well if I dont break that Circle or cycle then nothing will ever change, the same things will just happen over and over again with the same result, now this doesnt take a rocket scientist to work out but being a compulsive gambler it does take a lot of hard work to brake the cycle, its a classic actually meaning “if nothing changes then nothing changes” so ok things have to change, what works for one will not for another so its time to dig deep and really find out what works for me, once I find what really works for me I will hold onto it for dear life and use it till my dying day…………

This is such a long winded post so unnecessary and in answer to my question what is the meaning of life the answer is pure and simple……………….

“love each other as we should love ourself”

Life seems to be like a roller coaster and at times I dont know when or how to get off……

Maverick

[maverick.]

Ican, you are a wonderful person and will always wish you the happiness you so deserve and P likewise it is always so good to hear from you, you are such a kind soul who deserves all the happiness in the world, thank you both for your supportive posts and kind words, wish you both all the very best in the world.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Happy new year Geordie I hope you are keeping well my friend, hope all is going well for you and maybe catch you around sometime, take care and all the best, will always wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Just wanted to send you my very best Icandothis, I hope this finds you well and as always wish you all the very best in the world, take care of yourself Ican and look forward to sharing with you very soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Today was a tough day but I must keep fighting………if nothing changes then nothing changes………….just for today I wasnt the best person I could have been and for that I am sorry but I cant change the past believe me I wish I could but I cant and in truth I can live with that, there always seems to be so much stress and worry in life , health, work, family, kids just to name a few……………………I will keep fighting and I will keep working at becoming a better man one day at a time, today I wasnt the best man in the world but I definatley wasnt the worse.

Will always wish each and everyone of you all the very best in the world and I hope just for today you all get the happiness you so deserve.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Really great to hear you are doing well female g, when we make the choice not to gamble the rest off our lives do seem to fall in place nicley, so happy for you and keep up the great effort, take care and look forward to sharing with you very soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Happy new year Kin, I hope 2016 is going to be a good year for you, keep fighting the good fight and always know you are never alone, take care and wish you all the very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Happy new year Laura, keep fighing, stay strong and like you rightly say there is always hope, take care and wish you a happy and healthy 2016.

Maverick

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