[maverick.]

Lorraine its so nice to hear from you my friend, I really hope you are keeping well and will always wish you all the happiness in the world.

Like we both well know life can be tough at times, I feel we have to work so very hard just to make ends meet and support the family, working long hours, health issues, many other problems and on top of all these general worries I choose to gamble and create more pain and suffering, why do I do it Lorraine……….I honestly dont know, we are what we are and I suppose we do what we do, life is like a rollercoater and perhaps we just have to ride it…………..

Lorraine I am very fond of you too and we have got to know each other over the many years we have supported and shared with one another, you make sure you always look after yourself and never give in…………God will let us know when it is time to depart from the world and today I thank God as I woke up this morning and was breathing.

I am a compulsive gambler, I am 39 years of age, I work hard to look after the people around me, I love them and care for them, feed them, spend time with them, give them everything they need and nearly everything they want…….but still I am a compulsive gambler.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Vera, i_maverick and female g, thanks for your posts, Vera hope you are keeping well and thanks for all your supporg, i_maverick likewise hope all is well with you havent seen you around for a while and female g as always thanks for your supportive words and being around, take care all and wish you all well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks Ican, we always wish you well, you are a very kind person with a good heart, take care and speak soon.

[maverick.]

Vera, thank you from the bottom of my heart, always wish you well, take care my friend.

[maverick.]

Ican thankyou for your ongoing support and your kind words, today I am in a mess and in truth dont know what way to turn, there are many times in life that I have had enough and want to finish it, sometimes things just get to much as I know we all know, I know what is right and I know what is wrong but I still do what ever I feel I should (a childs approach really) anyway just for today I have had enough and in truth have lost the will to live………I say this because it is honestly the way I fell…..however I know sitting here now I am alot better off than alot of people today.

Just for today I am a bad person, I am full on anger and hatred, I am so wound up I cannot explain……….but the truth is I am wound up with myself, hate myself and sometimes wonder if I deserve to still be in this world………God forgive me for what I have done, I am really sorry for the hurt I have caused to many people over the many years, I promise to make amends to everyone I have hurt and over the coming days, weeks, months and years will appretiate any help and support I get to help me turn a corner.

I am a compulsive gambler and I hate the person I have become while being one, today I am totaly lost and seek any help and support anyone has to offer, I am really a d truly at a loss to understand why I gambled again and ruined all the good in my life I had worked so hard to recreate.

Thank you for listening, helping and supporting me, if it wasnt for this site I honestly dont know where I would be, as always I wish you all well and really hooe your day was better than mine, I am a mess and struggling to see any way back from this mess up but in truth it is all totaly mine, myself and I Who has created this situation and I have no one else to blame but me!!!!!!

Lee why do I never learn, you have help, you have support , you know what you have to do but you never do it…………

Today is a dark day for more reasons than one………..all I can do today is pray the day finishes quickly and hope and pray tomorrow is a better one.

I am not the best person in the world but today I am one of the worse!!!!!

Maverick

[maverick.]

So very true Vera, the time lost is priceless, we have to be thankfull for every moment we have.

I have mentioned to my wife various times about gamanon and the F & F section on this site and they are both very helpful and supportive, she uses them when she feels she has too and gets the advice she needs, just for today I will not gamble, I never wanted to be a compulsive gambler and in truth I dont really know when I crossed that line, what I do know now is I did cross it……….by a country mile and then sum.

Thanks for the support as always Vera, I hope you are keeping well, take care and speak soon.

I wish each and everyone of you all the happiness in the world, always remember to stay strong, keep fighting and never give in.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Hi Lorraine, just wanted to drop in and see how you are doing, really hope you are keeping well and I hope things are getting better, you are a wonderful person Lorraine and I miss not sharing with you more, I haven’t been around that much recently for one reason or another but anyway I hope this finds you well, take care of yourself and keep fighting, hope that fence is getting a hard time, speak soon my friend.

Maverick

[maverick.]

I am a compulsive gambler and I have been for many years, in that time I have done many bad things and really hurt (not physically) my wife, children, parents and many others, this has a lasting effect on them and I know they don’t and never will see me in the same way ever again (though I am working hard for them to really remember the real me) as a compulsive gambler for over 20 years, hurting the people closest to me over and over again, false promises, lies, stealing, more lies, fabricated stories just to mention a few, these take there toll on people and I understand the people I have hurt will and have every right to be angry, I just have to let people have there opinions and they deserve them because I have caused them a lot of pain, we all need to express how we feel and we all have different ways of dealing with the pain that has been caused……………………..

A friend or Family member is going to feel upset with there compulsive gambler and so rightly so………….I can’t imagine the pain and suffering they go through, like Vera rightly mentioned on another thread I was reading at least we know we are going to “start the cycle” again and the friend or family member has no idea……….probably just hoping, praying we have seen the light.

I am sorry for all the pain I have caused, I truly am, I promise just for today I will not gamble, I am looking at my wife now browsing the next catalogue and my children playing the wi……….they all look happy and content I am sitting in the same room with them and while writing this chatting and laughing about silly things in life………….time is precious and I have wasted a lot………but just for today I will not gamble.

Thanks for reading, take care and wish you all the very best whoever you are.

Maverick

[maverick.]

…………….I am lost for words……………just for today I will not gamble.

I am on my lunch break and have just been reading some posts, went to post on mine and have just had a complete mind blank, just didnt know what to say………so I didnt say it!!!

Just for today I havent and will not gamble and with that I am more than happy, thanks to everyone for your ongoing support it means a great deal to me and I wish each and everyone of you all the very best in your recovery and life.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Hope you have a lovley meal and evening out, happy birthday female g and many happy returns.

Take care and wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

It’s never too late to seek help, I understand what you are saying and you think you are losing the women you love but stick at it and keep working away, the trust will be lost but that can be regained in time, the problem is they have seen it all, the lies we tell, the money we have lost, the way we behave, mood swings, broken promises, lost time, they have seen it all but like I tell my wife it’s not the real me……….however I can only be the real me if I choose not to gamble.

Really well done on 4 days gamble free, keep up the great effort and remember time is a healer, wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Well done on your gamble free time, I know how hard it can be to not gamble for just one day, you are in a tough situation with your job but we both know what gambling leads to…….I can never gamble in a responsible way because I know I am a compulsive gambler, the only way we can move our lives forward is by not gambling, I cant tell you what to do because at times I cant help myself but it sounds like a job change could work wonders!!!!! We need money to live I know that and I have had some great well paid jobs but it didnt matter because I lost all my money gambling and lots more………It doesnt stop as I am sure you well know, the more I earned the more I gambled the more I lost the more time I was away from home……..its just a vicious circle and unless we break that cycle (not gambling) then nothing changes……….no sorry things do change but only for the worse, It is fightening how quick things spiral out of control.

I really wish you well and understand you are in a difficult situation but trust me (and you already know) there is no happiness to be found in gambling, I hope you can get your life back on track and I know you can, I also hope you can sort things out with your fiance………….I never really believed it but honesty is the best policy perhaps tell her you have a problem and ask for her help……….all I honestly do know is when I gamble I am not the true me!!!!!!!

Take care and keep sharing, hope day 4 gamble free is going well my friend.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Geordie its strange how things work out at times isnt it! And in truth I am sure it all happens for good reason, always good to read your posts and see you around, I hope you are doing ok my friend, keep fighting and I hope your life is getting better and heading in the right direction, wish you well and take care.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Always good to read your posts P, you are doing great so keep heading in the right direction, you are right this addiction is very sneaky and we always have to be mindful of that, really hope you are keeping well and I send you my very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lizbeth, I read your words and totaly understand your thoughts, its so very tough at times and trying to get back into a good mindset after a slip up can be hard, I suppose its just like life “there will be good days and bad days” we just have to keep trying and work hard at it, its always good to see you around and read your shares, keep sharing and never give in, I hope today is a good day for you and wish you all the very best, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

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