[maverick.]

Sorry I am out now but forgot to mention the most important thing……..just for today I didnt gamble.

Maverick

[maverick.]

I have to be quick as I am just about to go out………

I took my boy fishing today and we had a good day out, caught plenty of fish and had a good chat although he is not himself at the moment I can tell, he has recently been getting bullied and I have been trying to sort things out for him but the schools nowadays just dont seem to care (was going to say dont give a s**t), its just another added stress, I feel for him so very much and have been down the school talking to the teachers and head teacher and they just seem to turn things back to the parents…….I got proper upset with it this week and said I am just going to go down the school, collect my boy and sort it all out myself (I know I shouldn’t but bullying is a big thing to me) not blaming anyone and my addiction is all my own doing but being bullied at a young age made me look for other things to forget and that is when I discovered gambling, (I know this could sound all messed up and an excuse) but I did everything I did and it is all down to me and my own doing I openly admit that, just hate my boy getting bullied.

If it was me I would nowadays just knock someone out (I know not very big or clever) and perhaps i am just all talk!

Anyway we caught some nice fish and my wife had a lovely day with my little girl, life is never easy but it is more manageable when I don’t gamble and when I do I can’t live with myself.

thanks for listening and will share very soon, wish you all the very best in life.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kin, always be kind to yourself my friend, you are a truly wonderful person with such a loving heart, God knows you well and also knows your heart just like he knows me and mine, God knows you are a good person and will always look after you even when we think he isn’t around he is………..we just choose not to look for him, we have problems Kin, we are compulsive gamblers and with that it causes us many stresses and problems in life but deep down I know we are both good, kind, loving people, it is difficult to explain but trust me I know what I am talking about.

Things happen in life for a reason Kin and I honestly believe that, me being a compulsive gambler has caused me many problems and heart ache but with finding recovery it has taught me more than I would have been able to learn in my whole entire life and I mean that.

Take care my friend and will always wish you well, keep sharing, stay in touch and never not believe in yourself because I know you are well worth believing in!

I really hope your maid, your mother and most importantly yourself are all well, take care and speak soon, enjoy your day and try not to work to hard.

You remind me of a song Kin……..”I am a soul thats intentions are good oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood”

Maverick

[maverick.]

Slotjunkie, I just wanted to reply to let you know you are not alone, when you post I can here the despair in your shares but also the hope in others (so very like me) but I suppose we are very alike as are both compulsive gamblers, keep fighting my friend and never give in, if you fall 1000 times then just keep getting up and starting from where you left off, there is no start and finish line in recovery all that ever matters is today, everyone is on a par from the person who has 20 years without a bet to the person who has 1 day all that ever matters is today because if either make the wrong choice today we all well know where that puts us.

keep fighting slot junkie and keep sharing, its always good to read peoples posts and shares, in all honesty by posting we dont really understand how many people we help!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Micky, always a pleasure to read your posts, like you rightly say my friend never give up, I hope this finds you well and just wanted to drop and send you my very best, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks for the kind words Kin, they are greatly received, I hope you are keeping well and wish you all the very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

jwblues,

Well done for sharing how you feel, I understand also how you feel, I am a compulsive gambler, I am 39 and have been gambling since I was around 14, I have a wife and two children and can relate to where you are, I don’t need to tell you as you already know but if you don’t stop it doesn’t get any better my friend, I am heavy into loan sharks at the moment and like you I have a fairly good job and have had a fairly good job all my life (although work very hard to earn my money) I should have a nice house all paid for (renting at present) should have savings in the bank (have none), should have many things but gambling takes everything away from us and if we let it will also take are wives, children and our souls.

I very rarely talk about money as sometimes it can be a trigger to many (me included) but lets just say if I had never gambled in life I would have a nice 5 bedroomed house (in my current area) fully paid for and have 3-4 nice cars parked outside also completely paid for………..but thats life and I only need 3 bedrooms for now and can only ever drive one car at a time (no matter how much I brag about how good I am), life has this way of working itself out for you………it just is how it is.

In truth I am not bitter (many people are and I understand that) but I am here and sharing with you now and that is all that maters (after 7 operations to sort out on ongoing issue I have….afraid to say still ongoing) and also a couple of very close misses of departing from the world I consider myself “A Lucky Man”, everything we are is inside us, it’s not made up of what we have, I also believe that the struggles we have in life make us better people, like the saying goes “we bring nothing into the world and we can take nothing out” I suppose all that really means is what we do with our lives whilst we are in the world is all that matters.

I wish you well my friend and really hope you can get your life back on track, I know we don’t mean to hurt the people we love but with doing what we do…we do, thanks for sharing and keep posting, you are a good person I am sure just got caught up in a really bad addiction, I am a lot older and still fighting to stay gamble free one day at a time.

I dont preach as that is not me but all I will say is “I keep walking down the same road and I expect a different ending but strangely enough the ending is always the same!”

If nothing changes then nothing changes………..these words I type I could do with reading myself everyday.

Wish you, your wife and your children all the very best in the world, you have your whole life ahead of you, well done for confronting your problems at such an early age it took me many years to admit I had a problem.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Velvet, thank you very much for your post and kind words they mean a great deal to me, I hope you are keeping well and as always wish you all my very best.

Still gamble free since my last mess up and have started to put some decent barriers back in place, looking back to when I had some really good recovery time under my belt and my mind was in such a good place I have been wondering what went wrong and why it has been so hard to get back on the right track, the answer is because I dropped many barriers thinking I had my addiction beat, now I know I need ever bit of help I can get.

Thanks for listening and I wish you all the very best whoever you are, just for today I will not gamble and for that I am so very grateful.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kin thank you very much for your post, support and kind words, I am trying my friend, just for today I will not gamble, havent posted that much recently as have been having major problems with my username and login but I think I have just sorted it all out as have managed to log in and post.

Kin I hope you are well and back on your feet heading in the right direction, will always wish you well, take care and speak soon, my very best to each and everyone of you, hope you all have a pleasent day.

Maverick

[maverick.]

My last bet 17th April 2016, If I make the choice to make one more bet then my life is over, I type this, I read this, I understand this, it is all down to me, I have no one else to ever blame, this is my last chance, I give myself one last chance if I work hard and stick to this I know I can do it, if I fail one more time my life is over!!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Great to hear from you P, really hope you are doing well and always keep fighting, never give in.

I have been a compulsive gambler for 22 years, have been fighting and openly admit I have a problem for the last 6 years and yet still fighting to stay gamble free one day at a time, life is so very hard at times, I believe I have a problem with gambling, drinking, anger management (the later mainly because of the former)……………..sometimes I think what do I have going for me …………..but deep down in all honesty I know I have the honesty to admit to my problems and many other people do not………………all will be ok I know that for sure but dont know how long I can keep fighting……..

As for now I am going to take the kids out on a bike ride and have some quality time and fun with them!

I am a compulsive gambler and always will be……..I wish to God I have never placed that first bet but in truth that first bet saved my life but also in turn destroyed it!!!!!!!!

How does life work my friends????

Maverick

[maverick.]

Really sorry for this post…..my computer is playing up and also the operator is a bit of a tw*t…….I have just logged in on my login in, really sorry when in the grip of this addition paranoia kicks in, thanks to GT for everything they do and thank you for everyone being here supporting me and very many, so very happy to have this place to post and express my feelings.

Wishing everyone all the very best.

Maverick

[maverick.]

wish you well Kin, I cannot seem to post on my journal as I had a great deal to post, hey thats life I suppose, really hope you are doing well and try not to get to upset from your recent slip, life is full of many ups and downs and just keep doing what you know works for you, take care my friend and will always wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

I didn’t gamble today and I thank God for that, I am a broken man and don’t think I have another bet in me (I am sure I do) what I mean is the next bet would probably kill me I am in so deep at the moment.

So as we all know we have a “circle of (so called) friends” I suppose this comes with years of gambling and mixing with certain people, well today I was approached by (someone) and asked to do something (help out with something) and in truth by doing this “something” I could pay off my loan shark in one go and have some much needed breather space the problem is I am a married man with two kids and I am 39 years old, I am getting to old for these sort of shenanigans, ok I thought about it for a split second and it isn’t so much illegal as this person had something taken from them and they wanted it back, the problem being the people who took it are not the sort of people you take back from, this sort of thing wouldn’t have worried me 10 years ago as I was fighting fit but now with many health issues I struggle to get through the working day, was still contemplating “taking the job tonight” but in truth my wife and children need there husband and dad (although they dont always admit it) and I would like to stay in the world as long as God lets me………so I shouldn’t really test him with putting myself in really risky situations, just for today I made the right choice (in my eyes anyway) but just for today I am still heavy into the loan shark!

Perhaps Gerodies assumption wasn’t a bad one but in truth there is always someone further up the ladder lol

I am a compulsive gambler and just for today I didn’t gamble, I am feeling old and getting old but hey I am still in this world and I am very grateful for that.

My very best to each and everyone of you and hope you can all find some peace in your lives, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Nice post female g, wish you and Adam all the very best.

Maverick

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