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Icandothis, just wanted to drop in and wish you well, really sorry to hear of your loss of your friend, you mention you could have been a better friend but in truth Ican everyone of us could have been a better person at some point in our lives towards friends & family and in turn we could also have been a lot worse, you were a friend and that is more than good enough, remember the good things and not the bad, I love the Priest quote about working on yourself in her honour that makes perfect sense to me.
Take care my friend and hope this finds you well, keep fighting, keep trying and never give in.
Maverick
C21, I have just read your post and can relate to what you say and also how you feel, firstly well done and thanks for sharing, this addiction can be a nightmare (as we both well know) and unless we do everything within our power to stop the pain just keeps getting worse and worse, like you I dug myself such a hole I couldn’t get out, credit cards, loans, loan sharks, overdrafts, friends, family…….I owed everyone, then Bankruptcy……..then after that loan sharks again, anyway I am sure you get the picture (still paying debts back now), I am trying hard to stay gamble free and like you deep down I know there is no happiness to be found when I gamble.
Really glad you are here and have found this site, so many people on here like you and me but the good news is there is hope.
Take care and wish you well, keep sharing and hope you can stay gamble free “one day at a time”.
Maverick
Jonny, just wanted to say really well done on your recovery time, it’s amazing the difference we feel when we choose not to gamble and it’s frightening how quick our lives start to get better as the gamble free days go by, look after yourself and keep heading in the right direction, take care.
Maverick
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
There is always hope Kin as we both well know, look after and be kind to yourself!
Take care my friend and speak soon.
Maverick
I am Sherlocked, just wanted to drop in and say well done for sharing, I am sure you have read many posts on here and discovered you are far from alone, Vera’s post sums it up to a tee “endless cycle” we just have to stop the cycle (easier said than do at times I know), anyway just wanted to wish you all the very best and keep sharing, take care and enjoy the weekend.
Maverick
I-did-it, I hope this finds you well, just wanted to drop in say hello and send you my well wishes, like you so rightly say and I agree I honestly believe all marriages need working on…….I know mine has, is and will always have to be and I believe that’s just life……….like a well known saying I loving quoting “show me the perfect person and I will show you a liar”, as always this is only my opinion but people who say they have a perfect marriage and never have any disputes I would find very hard to believe but hey if they do then great!
Likewise again only my honest opinion but I believe many marriage’s break up because people don’t want to put the work in to make them work (please no one quote me on this) as I also know many marriages break up for various different reasons that I totally understand why.
What I am trying to say I-did-it (in a very long winded way) I agree with you, I don’t have the “perfect” marriage (whats the perfect marriage) and I have to work at it just like you, but I do have the women I love and that’s all that matters.
I don’t really know what’s gone on and that’s none of my business I know but all I can say is what I do, listen to all, take the bits that are useful, good, helpful and healthy for me and leave the rest I don’t want.
Really sorry to hear you are feeling judged but please keep posting and sharing your thoughts, like many journals on here I love reading yours, plus you never know when something small you share (unknowingly) may give hope to another soul.
I-did-it, hope you have a great weekend and remember “what other people think about you is there problem, not yours”
Maverick
Kin, stay strong my friend and as we both well know God will always look after us and show us the way, he has shown me the way many times in my life and I have ignored him so many times…..that is my sin, I will try to listen and move my life forward but I wanted to share with you and also wish you well, you are a very good person with a good heart, all we can ever do is keep trying to improve our lives, take care my friend and hope this finds you well, life is like a roller coaster with all the ups and downs…….I am afraid to say for us compulsive gamblers the downs far outweigh the ups!
Wish you well Kin.
Maverick
Micky, we find our selves here sharing about the bad stuff we do and the trouble we have created………….ok so yes we have messed a lot of things up but you know what……..we have an addiction, a very bad, compulsive, evil addiction that will take everything from us and after it has taken everything it will finally take our lives, it wont stop, it has no line it shouldn’t cross………
Me and you have know each other for a while my friend and in truth I believe we both know how each other “tick” so to speak, I know for a fact you are a good man as I can tell in previous coversations we have had, the lives we lead our very similar but also so very different, I believe you understand what is going on in my mind and in turn I understand the thoughts going through yours (trust me there is not many who could understand mine and in truth no one would want too).
The long and short of this Micky is I really cant be bothered with life at the moment and I see you are probably very much the same, I am such a **** at times and I struggle to understand why my friend but you know what…….everything happens for a reason…..
Our paths have crossed in life and there is a reason for that, I don’t know why but I believe deep in my heart it is so we can help each other, anyway I have said enough and I know at times I really cant be bothered with what anyone says!
Keep sharing Micky no matter what, I for one miss not sharing with you and in truth the more I stay away from this site the more I fall back into my addiction, I hope one day we can meet up and share and enjoy a day where gambling does not control and consume us.
Look after yourself Micky whatever is going on in your life, I know we can both work this out and I also know we can both live happy content lives, in the short term please share your pain with me and I will with you, I understand your pain and feel it I promise you I do………I have always said no one in this world understands me but just for today I will admit I am wrong and honestly believe you do!
Micky keep sharing, lets get shot of this very bad year and lets work hard together in making 2017 the very best we can.
Take care and as always my friend wish you all the very best in the world.
Maverick