[maverick.]

Kathryn if you were around it wouldn’t be you treating me to a pint I would get us in a case of champagne, anyway thanks for posting and hope you are keeping well my friend.

Geordie semi skimmed is fine buddy but after a while it goes off, hope you are keeping well mate and always good to see you around.

Kin thanks for always posting and your words of wisdom, hope u r well and life is treating you fair.

Just for today my life is bloody hard work, but I am living, I am surviving and I am standing firm, 69 days gamble free and I haven’t said that for a few years, I am lacking the back up and I am lacking the whole package but I am trying to work on that and trying really hard…….I cant go back to gambling I just cant if I do I know this time it will kill me……….silly statement to make but I just know it will.

Take care and wish you all well, keep fighting, stay strong and never give in.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Lorraine,

I have read your post and none of the others after, I have been on and off here pretty infrequently in all honesty.

Firstly it is great to see you around and I am really sorry I haven’t been in touch, its no excuse but been having a hard time in life and when that happens I forget about the people I love and care about so sorry.

Life as we both know can be such a struggle and at times I feel like you Lorraine I honestly do (what am I doing here, what’s my purpose, why am I just living and floating around in a world I shouldn’t be in) I don’t know, I believe you are very much like me Lorraine…..I see all the bad and the no good in me but don’t see all the good parts (I know there are many good parts about you), I also know you will say yah whatever how do you know…..and I know it has been a very long time but we have talked and shared and I miss that so very much……my fault as it always is as get caught up in the wicked world of not loving people and concentrating on all the things in life that don’t mean shit! (sorry for my language), Lorraine you have a purpose in life, I know you have a kind heart and you cant deny that as I have seen it and been on the receiving end many times, you love your husband as any loving women would, Lorraine if I am to be very blunt………you have had a shit time with things that have gone on and you are a wonderful women who doesn’t deserve the things that have happened.

My friend please keep fighting as there really is lots to keep fighting for, I am like you and on some lonely nights I have said “God take me now” I have had enough………you know what he hears, he listens and when our time is up it is up, he knows that even with all the things we have messed up and even with all the things we have done……..now isn’t the right time, God knows we have both made many mistakes Lorraine but he also knows we both have good hearts……..you may think Lee……go away and leave me alone but trust me I know him well………I need to as have been well over that fine line (I have had enough of life) many times!

So I will be honest as I always am with you, I am a compulsive gambler and believe it or not this is my 69th day gamble free, my gamble free time is great but at this moment in time my life is shit!, I dropped in on here and had to reply to your post, I was so happy to see you around although that is no excuse as I have known you for years and could have posted on your thread at anytime so there you go I am a just like a lot of people……..either don’t think……don’t care….or selfish……..its weird Lorraine because I am neither of the above……(I just didn’t think or take the time to think and post) it’s not good enough as you are / were / still are a really good friend, I just got f*cked by life and all the bad consumed me as it often does.

Lorraine you are a wonderful women, I already know that first hand and don’t need anyone to tell me otherwise, I will always wish you well my friend and please keep fighting, you are a very good person with a kind heart, I already know that but most of all you have a purpose in this world, just for today I am so very happy I am talking to you, please talk back to me soon, Lorraine I know this sounds silly but you will always have a place in my heart……over the years I have really warmed to you and so sorry I haven’t spoke or been around much for the last one!, just my compulsive gambling behavior and when I am in action I distance myself from everyone I could possibly harm.

Lorraine so here it is, please boil the kettle and have a coffee, look out that window and picture me in the distance……I am getting old now my friend (40 years) not as good looking as I once was lol, and when you look out that window sipping your coffee…….you know what you are going to see…………..that fence of yours is getting a good kicking lol!!!!!

Take care my friend and please remember I think about you often.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Geordie my friend lets meet up for a pint…….we are on the same wave length, hope you are keeping well and I couldn’t have put it better myself lol.

You are a good man Geordie and no matter what please never forget that, take care my friend.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kathryn and Jonny,

Thanks for your posts they mean a great deal to me so thankyou.

Tricky to explain Jonny and in truth deep down I know I am a good farther and also husband……..I just know I could be a better one,……….anyway that’s a share for another day……..

Just wanted to post 54 days gamble free……….haven’t said for over 2-3 years, just trying to work on myself, still not in a good place mentally and as the song goes “moneys to tight to mention” and I definitely couldn’t get an overdraft extension!!!!!

Take care all and wish you well, speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

49 days gamble free………..life is so hard at the moment and I really need to turn a corner and start to make things better……….tomorrow is another day but I need to start making life better for my wife, my children and me!!!

As always, wish you all well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Kathryn my friend please dont worry and no need to be sorry, easy mistake to make I have done it many times myself lol, thanks for you posts they are a great help and food for thought, I will read over again and come up with a plan, I will be fine I know that just going through a rough patch, you take care and thanks again for thinking of me and posting it means alot to me.

Hope this finds u well and take care……44 days gamble free.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Velvet thankyou for taking the time to post to me, alot of what you said made sense and I will take it onboard but also act on it, I do need to start with my wife and start to rebuild our relationship………its not in tatters just a little something missing, anyway thanks for your help and always good to see you around, keep doing what you do…….you help more people than you will ever know!

Kathryn……thanks for your post it was really nice to read about your shopping trip the morning after……amazing isnt it the smallest things like that you really enjoy we would never do while activley gambling……either because we didnt have the money or because we had the money but just wanted to go and gamble, Kathryn I am very happy for you and glad life is good, now hold on to it and enjoy.

Take care both and look after yourselves, thanks very much for thinking of me it means alot.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Frankie,

I have just read your post and it brought tears to my eyes, the pain and hurt compulsive gamblers cause the people they love is unbelievable, I have to be totally honest with you and say I have caused it many times as I am the compulsive gambler, I honestly don’t really know where to start and If I am truthful always very sceptical of sharing on the friends and family section, not because I don’t want to but not sure how it will be received, (however this comes across I promise you I am only here to help and share what I know), I am sure your boyfriend loves you but he has an addiction and he needs help but the problem is unless he really wants help himself he wont change.

I know nothing about how you feel however I hear the pain and suffering in your post, its a very small step but try to get him to look on this site and read other peoples journals/stories, something might just click and make him think about changing, sometimes that happens……it’s worth a try, there are some horror stories on here but I am afraid to say they are true, my gambling addiction has gone on for over 25 years and I am now 40, I don’t want to bore you with my story but see if you partner will just have a look on here and try to understand where he is in life and where he wants to be, deep down to any man all the maters is his wife and children however when actively gambling all that seems to get neglected.

Frankie thanks for listening and I am sorry for intruding on your thread, just saw you had posted this morning, you were upset and wanted to offer you a little bit of hope, Gods honest truth is look after yourself and your little one as you are the most important things in the world, protect the pair of you and hope your boyfriend decides we wants to change.

If he wants to talk or share I would be happy to, but deep down he really needs to want to stop, look after yourself and I wish you all the very best.

Lee

[maverick.]

Kin my friend I haven’t been around for a while and just been reading through all you posts, you are a good person and in truth to hard on yourself, I know this because I am also very hard on myself but my friend you are to hard on yourself, I see the good in your posts and remove the bad, you see the bad and no good (I know I am the same)…………………

you say you are an imperfect person………my friend you are one of the most genuine perfect person I have had the pleasure to come across……your honest posts tell me that and also……you show me a perfect person and I will show you a liar!!!

Like you Kin, God is a massive part of my life (just for today I don’t wish to share any more than that), I know he always looks after me even when I am being a absolute arse!!!!!

For at times I don’t know what I do…….I do it but I don’t understand why……it is me doing it and I cant stop it but I don’t know why I do it……….not the right words Kin I know my friend but they are my words…………sin living in me my friend!!!

You are a good person and I know that because God as told me…….he tells me many things and shares many things with me but I have to be honest most the time I don’t seem to listen……….am I a bad man……….maybe who knows but that’s not for me to say, you take care my friend and don’t stop doing what you are doing, God loves all of us and that’s the truth, you are a pleasure to know Kin and I always love reading your posts (although I haven’t been around or posting I still read), you know that because if I wasn’t around I wouldn’t have read Vera’s post on my thread and that’s why I am here sharing today!

Take care Kin and hope this finds you well, all the very best my friend and please never give in, God knows you try and he told me he loves a trier………….just as well with what I have done!!!!

Maverick

[maverick.]

Micky, Jonny and Vera my good friend thank you for thinking off me, your posts are always very welcome and also greatly received.

Well here we go I am going to be brutally honest………………….

I feel s*it, life seems really s*it, I cant get into a good mind set!, my mind is all over the place, my feelings are all over the place, I am quickly growing apart from my wife………just as quickly seem to be growing apart from my kids, work is a nightmare and getting such a hard time at them moment from other work colleges and from managers for not meeting target, I work there to pay the bills but not happy with the quality of work people are churning out and also worried it could be life threatening to someone in one way shape or form…………………..I am in a totally mess mentally and really honestly don’t know what to do or which way to turn, believe it or not Vera this is my 42nd day gamble free and didn’t gamble in the month of June…..last bet 28th May 2017, haven’t managed 42 days for years…….but all is not well……..I don’t really know…..I am 40 so perhaps going through some midlife crisis!!! just don’t feel good about anything in life, everything at the moment just seems to be “rock bottom” how is that?

Anyway that’s enough from me for one day, really hope you are keeping well Vera and hope all your family are good, you are a lovely women with a very big and kind heart….never forget that my friend, also be sure to take care of yourself you deserve looking after!

Wish you all well and catch you soon…………

Maverick

[maverick.]

Velvet thanks for taking the time to post, your kind words and support and happily received and always bring a smile to my face and hope yo my heart, I dont know you but I feel like I do (not sure if that makes any sense but it does to me), hope you and your family are keeping well and wish you all my very best.

Vera my friend you are a good un, and you are so very right I can end this nightmare today but for some reason I get a different one tomorrow, hey I am a big boy and I will find the answer……time is a healer and just for today I have the time, hope this finds you well Vera and be sure to look after yourself, take care and speak soon.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Thanks Geordie hope u r well, even worse sticking to those speed limits my friend.

Wish you well.

Maverick

[maverick.]

My life is like a nightmare at times but in truth most of it all my own doing, I don’t like a lot of me but I do like a little, I know for sure I am a work in progress that in all honesty will never be complete. No gambling to report and I am just plodding steadily on in life, just for today life is challenging but just for today I didn’t gamble.

Hope this finds you all well and as always my very best to you all.

Maverick

[maverick.]

Stay strong Micky and stay focused, dont let anyone upset your recovery or you, what other people think about us is there problem not yours, keep doing what works for you my friend as we both well know the alternative isnt much fun.

Take care

Maverick

[maverick.]

Great to see you doing well Micky, keep doing what works for you my friend and keep up the great effort, hope this finds you well.

Take care and all the very best.

Maverick

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